DEAR ABBY: I'm a 911 dispatcher and I am shocked by the abuse of the 911 system. We are here to help in times of emergency, but our lines are continuously tied up by people who don't have one. Please help by passing along this plea to your readers:

1. Please don't call to ask for phone numbers; we are not Information.

2. If you are on a speakerphone or shouting, WE CAN'T HEAR YOU CLEARLY! We know you are upset, but we can't help if we can't understand where you are or what type of assistance you need.

3. Do not assume that our computers can pick up your location. We can get an idea of where you are, but there is no guarantee that the information is accurate.

4. Every question we ask is important. You may not think so, but we wouldn't ask if the information was not vital.

5. And please, don't call us asking for directions or the time!

A dispatcher's job is to keep our responders and the public safe. When our lines are tied up by people who abuse the system, we are unable to help those in dire need of our help. We spend our days dealing with high-stress situations, and we do our best to guarantee a safe outcome for everyone involved. Please respect the 911 emergency system and call only for true emergencies. -- 911 DISPATCHER

DEAR 911 DISPATCHER: I'm printing your letter because it boggles my mind that anyone would be so stupid or inconsiderate as to deliberately call the emergency phone number asking for directions or the time. It is my understanding that some of the 911 systems are antiquated, and too many calls can tie them up, leaving someone with a real emergency unable to get through. In times like that, minutes can be critical. Perhaps the problem would be solved if callers who did not have a true emergency were fined for doing so -- since I'm sure you have the number from which the call was placed.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for 10 years and have four children. Two years ago, we went through a rough patch and separated. After working through our problems, we moved back in together recently.

Over the last few months, I have noticed that I become depressed whenever he's around. It's nothing he does. He's nice and has improved himself over the last two years, but I miss living without him. I wish we would get a divorce so I could go back to living with just my children.

Do I feel this way because of low self-esteem, or is it something else? I'm not sure what to make of it, and your advice would be greatly appreciated. -- SECOND THOUGHTS IN OHIO

DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: It appears that although you and your husband worked through your problems enough to move back together, there's still more work to be done to repair your relationship.

Be careful what you wish for. Whether your attraction to him has simply grown stale or you have fallen completely out of love with him, I can't guess. But with four children in the picture, I hope you will schedule some sessions with a licensed marriage counselor before making any final decisions about making that wish of yours come true.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 13, and I'm writing you about my best friend. Her life at home has always sucked, but now it has reached a new level. Her grandmother is no longer paying for her tuition, her parents verbally abuse her and yesterday she attempted suicide. Luckily, she called me and I talked her through it.

I don't know how to help her. I can't talk to her parents because they'll be no help, but I don't know what will happen if I tell my parents. Please help me. -- NEEDS ANSWERS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NEEDS ANSWERS: You are a caring friend. The one thing you shouldn't do in a misguided effort to "protect" your friend is to remain silent. When someone threatens suicide, it is time to act.

You should absolutely tell your parents everything you know so they can inform her parents. If your parents are hesitant to do that, confide in a trusted teacher or counselor at school so your friend can get the help she appears to desperately need. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline's toll-free number is 800-273-8255. Please share it with your friend. But if she tells you again that she has injured herself, call 911.

DEAR ABBY: I have a 23-year-old stepson who continues to bully my wife into taking care of him. She recently helped him to buy a home, even though she knew his current earnings would not be enough to cover his car, insurance, phone, cable, etc.

He continues to make his problems ours. He called yesterday telling his mom he needs brakes. We already pay his insurance on the vehicle and other small, unexpected bills. Oh, and by the way, he has a baby on the way.

I have tried repeatedly to talk to my wife about enabling him, but she refuses to see that she is keeping him dependent. What can I say or do to help her get on the right path? -- MAN-CHILD PROBLEMS

DEAR PROBLEMS: Ideally, spouses are supposed to agree before spending large amounts of community assets. Marriage counseling might help you to get through to her. But if it doesn't, consider consulting a lawyer about protecting your assets.

I agree that your wife is enabling her son, and she's not doing him any favors in the long run. However, if the money she's giving him is her own, you can't stop her from doing it.

DEAR ABBY: We live down the street from my boyfriend's mother. Our 3-year-old daughter spends a few hours there while I'm at work and her dad is running errands. My daughter loves her grandparents, so I don't mind her spending time with them.

The problem I have is, my boyfriend's mother repeats everything I say to my daughter right after I say it when I ask her to do something! It drives me crazy. My boyfriend tells me to say something to her, but I have no idea what to say. Please help. -- ECHOED IN ALASKA

DEAR ECHOED: Stop complaining. At least your mother-in-law agrees with you and reinforces what you tell your daughter. Consider it a small price you pay for free baby-sitting.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 57-year-old lady. I have been a widow 23 years and chose not to date while raising my daughter, who is now 26. I would now like to meet a nice man to spend time with, but I suffer from an affliction many older women deal with -- alopecia. My hair is very thin, but with wigs and makeup, I look attractive enough.

I'm afraid I'm being deceptive when I meet a man like that. When is the right time to tell a man what he sees is not what he gets? -- EMBARRASSED IN OHIO

DEAR EMBARRASSED: The logical time to tell someone would be at the point you are becoming intimate enough that he would be running his hands through your hair.

DEAR ABBY: I don't like people. I live alone and hardly leave my apartment. I have one friend I talk to on the phone every day, and sometimes my siblings who live out of town, but not often. The core of my issue may be my secret. I am gay and a foreigner.

I like to surf the net, read historical books, and enjoy classic literature novels. For some reason, I feel like hiding myself away from people is making me miss out. Am I abnormal? Do I need a therapist? I have internal peace in my life and I think I'm happy. -- INTELLECTUAL LONER

DEAR INTELLECTUAL LONER: Your status as a gay, foreign loner who is hiding himself away must be troubling you on some level or you wouldn't have written to me. If you feel you could be getting more out of life than you currently are, then it would be worth your while to schedule some sessions with a licensed mental health professional and do some exploring.

DEAR ABBY: I don't like people. I live alone and hardly leave my apartment. I have one friend I talk to on the phone every day, and sometimes my siblings who live out of town, but not often. The core of my issue may be my secret. I am gay and a foreigner.

I like to surf the net, read historical books, and enjoy classic literature novels. For some reason, I feel like hiding myself away from people is making me miss out. Am I abnormal? Do I need a therapist? I have internal peace in my life and I think I'm happy. -- INTELLECTUAL LONER

DEAR INTELLECTUAL LONER: Your status as a gay, foreign loner who is hiding himself away must be troubling you on some level or you wouldn't have written to me. If you feel you could be getting more out of life than you currently are, then it would be worth your while to schedule some sessions with a licensed mental health professional and do some exploring.

DEAR ABBY: I don't like people. I live alone and hardly leave my apartment. I have one friend I talk to on the phone every day, and sometimes my siblings who live out of town, but not often. The core of my issue may be my secret. I am gay and a foreigner.

I like to surf the net, read historical books, and enjoy classic literature novels. For some reason, I feel like hiding myself away from people is making me miss out. Am I abnormal? Do I need a therapist? I have internal peace in my life and I think I'm happy. -- INTELLECTUAL LONER

DEAR INTELLECTUAL LONER: Your status as a gay, foreign loner who is hiding himself away must be troubling you on some level or you wouldn't have written to me. If you feel you could be getting more out of life than you currently are, then it would be worth your while to schedule some sessions with a licensed mental health professional and do some exploring.