DEAR ABBY: Schoolchildren, especially middle school or high school students who may not be socially adept, often eat lunch alone because they don't know what to do when it comes to joining other kids at the lunch table. My grandson, who is on the autism spectrum, is one of them.

Classmates would be doing a great service if they said, "Hey, 'Josh.' Come sit with me." It's a small way to help others, and they could serve as examples/mentors. Kids with autism or some other challenges can learn socialization from helpful peers who are good in this arena.

It's lonely to eat lunch by yourself. Please encourage your readers to consider this. -- SOMEONE WHO CARES IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR SOMEONE WHO CARES: I'm glad to do that. The pain of social isolation can last far beyond the elementary and middle school years and color a person's expectations of rejection into adulthood. Much of it could be avoided if parents took the time to explain to their children how important it is to treat others with kindness.

In recent years, attention is finally being paid to this. A national organization, Beyond Differences, started a program called "No One Eats Alone" that teaches students how to make friends at lunchtime -- which can be the most painful part of the school day. It's their most popular program, and schools in all 50 states participate. For more information about the work they do, visit www.beyonddifferences.org.

It might be helpful if an adult family member discussed your grandson's isolation with a counselor at his school. Some schools have started programs in which children who sit alone are gathered together at lunchtime with a teacher or a school therapist so they are not isolated. This creates a safe space for autistic children. Regardless of how these lunches are organized, the presence of a trained adult is paramount.

DEAR ABBY: My son and daughter-in-law recently had a baby girl. My daughter-in-law and her family have extreme OCD and are afraid of germs. I wash my hands all the time, but still she seems to cringe when I or anyone in my family holds the baby.

I want a relationship with my granddaughter. I have expressed my concern to my son, but I don't want to cause an argument. How can I approach this without causing friction? -- GRANDMA S. IN NEW YORK

DEAR GRANDMA S.: Your daughter-in-law is a brand-new mother. Many new parents are nervous about their babies being exposed to germs.

A way to approach it would be to talk with your daughter-in-law in a non-confrontational way and tell her you have seen her reaction when you hold your granddaughter. Explain that you are careful about hand-washing, and ask if there is anything else she feels you should do. It might make her feel more in control and put her mind at ease.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for two years. Until recently, we were inseparable and I loved his company. I got a job that required me to temporarily relocate and be on my own, so we saw each other only every other week. During that time, I gained a better understanding of who I am and how I want to spend my time.

Since then, I have realized that my boyfriend and I may not be as compatible as I once thought. We discussed it, and he's willing to do anything to make it work. But some things can't be changed, such as his interests and small quirks he has. I'm having a hard time because I want to break things off, but then I worry that he could be "the one that got away." Any advice would be appreciated. -- LOOKING FOR THE ONE

DEAR LOOKING: As you have found, distance doesn't always make the heart grow fonder. Keeping someone around not because you're crazy about him, but because you're afraid if you don't he will be the one who got away is not a reason to continue the relationship.

Your breather has shown that he may not be "the one" after all. That's a good thing, and not something to be afraid of. So do the kind thing and let him go. That way he can find someone who loves him -- quirks and all -- and so can you.

DEAR ABBY: My son "Jake" is headed to college in the fall, and I want his last year at home to be memorable and happy. He's a good student and has been admitted to the college of his choice. The problem is, he can't wake himself up in the morning. He switches off the alarm and goes back to sleep. I must go up to his room several times to wake him because he won't get up the first time.

Jake is otherwise independent. He does his own laundry and keeps his room spotless. I'm spending a large part of my savings on his tuition, and I'm worried that unless he can wake himself in the mornings, he won't get to classes on time.

I have tried talking to him about putting the alarm on "snooze" instead of turning it off, but nothing works. My husband suggests we pour a glass of cold water on Jake's face 10 minutes after the alarm goes off. Can you help us solve this problem? -- UP ALREADY IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR UP: Although you may think your husband's suggestion is harsh and inappropriate, it's time you stopped coddling your son. The two of you need to sit him down and tell him that college is expensive, that if you and your husband are willing to go through the financial hardship of paying for it, he must wake up by himself and if he cannot manage to do that, he will have to pay for his own education. Perhaps that will get across to him that you are serious.

DEAR READERS: While I'm on the subject of getting up in the morning, this is my annual reminder to those of you living where daylight saving time is observed: Don't forget to turn your clocks forward one hour tonight at bedtime. Daylight saving time begins at 2 a.m. tomorrow. I love this ritual because it signals the coming of spring!

DEAR ABBY: I'm 51 and my boyfriend is 43. We've been dating for eight months, living together for five. We met at work a few months before we started dating. We get along great and never argue, but he won't let me meet his family.

He has never been married and has no children. He sees his mom and brother sometimes for dinner and such, but because his mom doesn't have any grandchildren and I can't give her any, he said he's not ready to tell her about me. Does this make sense? -- OUTSIDER IN LOUISIANA

DEAR OUTSIDER: If, after eight months of dating and living together for five, you still haven't met his family, he has no intention of introducing you -- ever. Your inability to give his mother grandchildren has nothing to do with it. You are a human being, not a broodmare, and the excuse he's giving you makes no sense. Picture this scenario: "Hey, Ma, this is 'Becky' and she's fertile!" Puh-leeze!

DEAR ABBY: My sister, who is very religious, sent my gay daughter a Bible with her name engraved on it for Christmas, even though we told her -- after she asked for suggestions -- that a gift card would be more appropriate. We are not religious, by the way.

My wife and I feel strange about it, as if my sister is trying to tell us something like, "Your gay daughter needs religion." How should we respond to this? -- BAFFLED IN THE EAST

DEAR BAFFLED: You do not have to respond. The Bible was a gift for your daughter, and the "privilege" of acknowledging it, ignoring it or regifting it is hers. What I do not recommend is allowing your sister's gift choice to become an argument about your family's values.

DEAR ABBY: I've recently rekindled an old romance with a wonderful guy. Only one thing mars our relationship. When we go out to eat, we don't carry on a conversation past occasional chitchat. The problem may be that while he's a speedy eater, I'm slow. I feel bad about not being able to talk and chew fast enough to keep up, so he finishes well before me and ends up waiting quite a while until I polish off my meal.

Can you offer any suggestions on how to come to a compromise where dinner isn't a race to the finish line, but an experience full of laughter and discussion? -- SLOWER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SLOWER: Yes, but it may involve making the meal even longer. If there's a topic you would like to explore with him, put down your fork, swallow your food and speak up. In Europe it's common for people to linger over their meal and communicate with each other. This practice not only fosters deeper relationships, but there are also health benefits to eating slowly. Because you're a couple, you should feel comfortable enough to ask him to slow down so your conversation can flow more easily.