DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for two years. Until recently, we were inseparable and I loved his company. I got a job that required me to temporarily relocate and be on my own, so we saw each other only every other week. During that time, I gained a better understanding of who I am and how I want to spend my time.

Since then, I have realized that my boyfriend and I may not be as compatible as I once thought. We discussed it, and he's willing to do anything to make it work. But some things can't be changed, such as his interests and small quirks he has. I'm having a hard time because I want to break things off, but then I worry that he could be "the one that got away." Any advice would be appreciated. -- LOOKING FOR THE ONE

DEAR LOOKING: As you have found, distance doesn't always make the heart grow fonder. Keeping someone around not because you're crazy about him, but because you're afraid if you don't he will be the one who got away is not a reason to continue the relationship.

Your breather has shown that he may not be "the one" after all. That's a good thing, and not something to be afraid of. So do the kind thing and let him go. That way he can find someone who loves him -- quirks and all -- and so can you.

DEAR ABBY: My son "Jake" is headed to college in the fall, and I want his last year at home to be memorable and happy. He's a good student and has been admitted to the college of his choice. The problem is, he can't wake himself up in the morning. He switches off the alarm and goes back to sleep. I must go up to his room several times to wake him because he won't get up the first time.

Jake is otherwise independent. He does his own laundry and keeps his room spotless. I'm spending a large part of my savings on his tuition, and I'm worried that unless he can wake himself in the mornings, he won't get to classes on time.

I have tried talking to him about putting the alarm on "snooze" instead of turning it off, but nothing works. My husband suggests we pour a glass of cold water on Jake's face 10 minutes after the alarm goes off. Can you help us solve this problem? -- UP ALREADY IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR UP: Although you may think your husband's suggestion is harsh and inappropriate, it's time you stopped coddling your son. The two of you need to sit him down and tell him that college is expensive, that if you and your husband are willing to go through the financial hardship of paying for it, he must wake up by himself and if he cannot manage to do that, he will have to pay for his own education. Perhaps that will get across to him that you are serious.

DEAR READERS: While I'm on the subject of getting up in the morning, this is my annual reminder to those of you living where daylight saving time is observed: Don't forget to turn your clocks forward one hour tonight at bedtime. Daylight saving time begins at 2 a.m. tomorrow. I love this ritual because it signals the coming of spring!

DEAR ABBY: I'm 51 and my boyfriend is 43. We've been dating for eight months, living together for five. We met at work a few months before we started dating. We get along great and never argue, but he won't let me meet his family.

He has never been married and has no children. He sees his mom and brother sometimes for dinner and such, but because his mom doesn't have any grandchildren and I can't give her any, he said he's not ready to tell her about me. Does this make sense? -- OUTSIDER IN LOUISIANA

DEAR OUTSIDER: If, after eight months of dating and living together for five, you still haven't met his family, he has no intention of introducing you -- ever. Your inability to give his mother grandchildren has nothing to do with it. You are a human being, not a broodmare, and the excuse he's giving you makes no sense. Picture this scenario: "Hey, Ma, this is 'Becky' and she's fertile!" Puh-leeze!

DEAR ABBY: My sister, who is very religious, sent my gay daughter a Bible with her name engraved on it for Christmas, even though we told her -- after she asked for suggestions -- that a gift card would be more appropriate. We are not religious, by the way.

My wife and I feel strange about it, as if my sister is trying to tell us something like, "Your gay daughter needs religion." How should we respond to this? -- BAFFLED IN THE EAST

DEAR BAFFLED: You do not have to respond. The Bible was a gift for your daughter, and the "privilege" of acknowledging it, ignoring it or regifting it is hers. What I do not recommend is allowing your sister's gift choice to become an argument about your family's values.

DEAR ABBY: I've recently rekindled an old romance with a wonderful guy. Only one thing mars our relationship. When we go out to eat, we don't carry on a conversation past occasional chitchat. The problem may be that while he's a speedy eater, I'm slow. I feel bad about not being able to talk and chew fast enough to keep up, so he finishes well before me and ends up waiting quite a while until I polish off my meal.

Can you offer any suggestions on how to come to a compromise where dinner isn't a race to the finish line, but an experience full of laughter and discussion? -- SLOWER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SLOWER: Yes, but it may involve making the meal even longer. If there's a topic you would like to explore with him, put down your fork, swallow your food and speak up. In Europe it's common for people to linger over their meal and communicate with each other. This practice not only fosters deeper relationships, but there are also health benefits to eating slowly. Because you're a couple, you should feel comfortable enough to ask him to slow down so your conversation can flow more easily.

DEAR ABBY: I am a father of two girls. Both of them no longer see, talk to or contact me. I'm divorced from their mother. She cheated on me after she went back to work and met a man she decided was her soul mate. That was 17 years ago. I haven't talked to or seen my ex in all those years, and slowly both daughters distanced themselves from me until there was no relationship at all.

On Father's Day, my birthday or Christmas I never hear a word from either one. I tried numerous times to be a father to them. My youngest was recently married and didn't invite me to her big wedding. I had been saving money over the years in case one of them needed help with a home or wedding.

I have to say I am hurt. What could I have done to be a father when they didn't want me in their lives? I talk to people and they keep telling me stories similar to mine. Is this common? -- REJECTED DAD OUT WEST

DEAR DAD: Let me put it this way: It's not unheard of. Something called "parental alienation" sometimes happens in bitter divorces, when one parent poisons the children's minds against the other. If I had to guess the reason for it in your case, it would be that your ex didn't want the girls to know the reason for the divorce was her infidelity.

There is nothing you can do about it now, because a mindset and a pattern have been set. Had you insisted on counseling for you and the girls when you realized the distancing was happening, you might have kept the lines of communication open.

Things may improve one day when your daughters have children who are curious about meeting you, but in the meantime, for your own sake, please go on with your life and don't dwell on your disappointment.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old girl who is blessed to have both sets of grandparents alive and healthy. Recently, my dad's mother has become very quiet and reserved at social events. She was never the "I need to talk to everyone" type, but at the last few family gatherings she wouldn't involve herself in a long conversation with anyone. When my other grandparents tried to talk to her, her answers were curt and it was obvious she would rather not talk.

At first we thought it was because of my baby cousin, who cried nearly every time my grandmother held her. Thankfully, that has stopped. Other family members have noticed her behavior, and we are unsure of what may be causing it. -- SILENT TREATMENT IN NEW YORK

DEAR SILENT TREATMENT: Your grandmother may be upset about something, and her refusal to talk could be her way of expressing her displeasure, or she may be having a personal problem she's not ready to discuss. Because other family members have noticed and are commenting about it, your parents should tell your grandfather that the family is concerned and ask him for an explanation, because he may be in a position to shed some light on it.