DEAR ABBY: I'm 51 and my boyfriend is 43. We've been dating for eight months, living together for five. We met at work a few months before we started dating. We get along great and never argue, but he won't let me meet his family.

He has never been married and has no children. He sees his mom and brother sometimes for dinner and such, but because his mom doesn't have any grandchildren and I can't give her any, he said he's not ready to tell her about me. Does this make sense? -- OUTSIDER IN LOUISIANA

DEAR OUTSIDER: If, after eight months of dating and living together for five, you still haven't met his family, he has no intention of introducing you -- ever. Your inability to give his mother grandchildren has nothing to do with it. You are a human being, not a broodmare, and the excuse he's giving you makes no sense. Picture this scenario: "Hey, Ma, this is 'Becky' and she's fertile!" Puh-leeze!

DEAR ABBY: My sister, who is very religious, sent my gay daughter a Bible with her name engraved on it for Christmas, even though we told her -- after she asked for suggestions -- that a gift card would be more appropriate. We are not religious, by the way.

My wife and I feel strange about it, as if my sister is trying to tell us something like, "Your gay daughter needs religion." How should we respond to this? -- BAFFLED IN THE EAST

DEAR BAFFLED: You do not have to respond. The Bible was a gift for your daughter, and the "privilege" of acknowledging it, ignoring it or regifting it is hers. What I do not recommend is allowing your sister's gift choice to become an argument about your family's values.

DEAR ABBY: I've recently rekindled an old romance with a wonderful guy. Only one thing mars our relationship. When we go out to eat, we don't carry on a conversation past occasional chitchat. The problem may be that while he's a speedy eater, I'm slow. I feel bad about not being able to talk and chew fast enough to keep up, so he finishes well before me and ends up waiting quite a while until I polish off my meal.

Can you offer any suggestions on how to come to a compromise where dinner isn't a race to the finish line, but an experience full of laughter and discussion? -- SLOWER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SLOWER: Yes, but it may involve making the meal even longer. If there's a topic you would like to explore with him, put down your fork, swallow your food and speak up. In Europe it's common for people to linger over their meal and communicate with each other. This practice not only fosters deeper relationships, but there are also health benefits to eating slowly. Because you're a couple, you should feel comfortable enough to ask him to slow down so your conversation can flow more easily.

DEAR ABBY: I am a father of two girls. Both of them no longer see, talk to or contact me. I'm divorced from their mother. She cheated on me after she went back to work and met a man she decided was her soul mate. That was 17 years ago. I haven't talked to or seen my ex in all those years, and slowly both daughters distanced themselves from me until there was no relationship at all.

On Father's Day, my birthday or Christmas I never hear a word from either one. I tried numerous times to be a father to them. My youngest was recently married and didn't invite me to her big wedding. I had been saving money over the years in case one of them needed help with a home or wedding.

I have to say I am hurt. What could I have done to be a father when they didn't want me in their lives? I talk to people and they keep telling me stories similar to mine. Is this common? -- REJECTED DAD OUT WEST

DEAR DAD: Let me put it this way: It's not unheard of. Something called "parental alienation" sometimes happens in bitter divorces, when one parent poisons the children's minds against the other. If I had to guess the reason for it in your case, it would be that your ex didn't want the girls to know the reason for the divorce was her infidelity.

There is nothing you can do about it now, because a mindset and a pattern have been set. Had you insisted on counseling for you and the girls when you realized the distancing was happening, you might have kept the lines of communication open.

Things may improve one day when your daughters have children who are curious about meeting you, but in the meantime, for your own sake, please go on with your life and don't dwell on your disappointment.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old girl who is blessed to have both sets of grandparents alive and healthy. Recently, my dad's mother has become very quiet and reserved at social events. She was never the "I need to talk to everyone" type, but at the last few family gatherings she wouldn't involve herself in a long conversation with anyone. When my other grandparents tried to talk to her, her answers were curt and it was obvious she would rather not talk.

At first we thought it was because of my baby cousin, who cried nearly every time my grandmother held her. Thankfully, that has stopped. Other family members have noticed her behavior, and we are unsure of what may be causing it. -- SILENT TREATMENT IN NEW YORK

DEAR SILENT TREATMENT: Your grandmother may be upset about something, and her refusal to talk could be her way of expressing her displeasure, or she may be having a personal problem she's not ready to discuss. Because other family members have noticed and are commenting about it, your parents should tell your grandfather that the family is concerned and ask him for an explanation, because he may be in a position to shed some light on it.

DEAR ABBY: I read your column all the time. My husband and I have been married for 35 years. My husband has good friends who are women, and I have never objected when he stayed with them when he traveled from our home to Michigan.

One of the women he stays with called and they talked for hours. That's not right is it? My husband says she's just a good friend and it's only conversation.

Like I said, I didn't mind him staying with her because I trusted him. But now I'm leery and suspicious. I don't believe it's a sexual thing, but a long conversation hurts me more because I thought I was his best friend.

I told him, "Let's get counseling. If it doesn't work, we can divorce." He said, "You're not going to stop me from talking to my friends."

Abby, I need your opinion. -- LEERY IN FLORIDA

DEAR LEERY: Whatever is going on, you and your husband are having a communication problem. Instead of raising the subject of divorce with him, it may be time for you to get marriage counseling, alone if he won't go with you.

Your husband should be able to talk to his friends -- male and female -- if he wishes. For you to tell him otherwise makes you look more like his jailer than his wife. Some mediation may help you feel less threatened and help you both to get back on the same page.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 39-year-old female who hasn't been able to conceive. My sister has two children and one on the way. I love being an aunt, but I do want to be a mom myself. I'm recently divorced and have a nice home, a dependable vehicle and a job that I love. The only thing missing in my life is a child.

I have the opportunity to adopt a newborn baby from a family who is unable to care for her. She will be born in the next few months. When I speak to my friends and family about it, even though they would love for me to have a child, they say they don't think this is the right path for me. Although I want a child and always have, I'm now having concerns about it, too. Any advice you could share would be greatly appreciated. -- MOTHERLY INSTINCT IN GEORGIA

DEAR INSTINCT: I wish you had been clearer about why your family doesn't feel that adopting the baby would be the right path for you. However, since you weren't, let me offer this:

Many single parents -- whether single because of divorce, widowhood or by choice -- successfully raise children. At 39, with a home and a good job, you appear to be financially secure enough to provide for a child. Unless you have an emotional problem you didn't mention, or lack the patience to be a good mother, I see no reason why you shouldn't become one. However, because your friends and family have created doubt, discuss this with a counselor to clarify your thinking.

DEAR ABBY: What should I say to someone who expects an invitation to a wedding but will not be receiving one and they ask why they didn't get one? -- WHERE'S MY INVITATION?

DEAR WHERE'S: If someone is nervy enough to ask why he or she was not invited to the wedding, all you have to say is that for logistical reasons you had to limit your guest list.