DEAR ABBY: I am a father of two girls. Both of them no longer see, talk to or contact me. I'm divorced from their mother. She cheated on me after she went back to work and met a man she decided was her soul mate. That was 17 years ago. I haven't talked to or seen my ex in all those years, and slowly both daughters distanced themselves from me until there was no relationship at all.

On Father's Day, my birthday or Christmas I never hear a word from either one. I tried numerous times to be a father to them. My youngest was recently married and didn't invite me to her big wedding. I had been saving money over the years in case one of them needed help with a home or wedding.

I have to say I am hurt. What could I have done to be a father when they didn't want me in their lives? I talk to people and they keep telling me stories similar to mine. Is this common? -- REJECTED DAD OUT WEST

DEAR DAD: Let me put it this way: It's not unheard of. Something called "parental alienation" sometimes happens in bitter divorces, when one parent poisons the children's minds against the other. If I had to guess the reason for it in your case, it would be that your ex didn't want the girls to know the reason for the divorce was her infidelity.

There is nothing you can do about it now, because a mindset and a pattern have been set. Had you insisted on counseling for you and the girls when you realized the distancing was happening, you might have kept the lines of communication open.

Things may improve one day when your daughters have children who are curious about meeting you, but in the meantime, for your own sake, please go on with your life and don't dwell on your disappointment.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old girl who is blessed to have both sets of grandparents alive and healthy. Recently, my dad's mother has become very quiet and reserved at social events. She was never the "I need to talk to everyone" type, but at the last few family gatherings she wouldn't involve herself in a long conversation with anyone. When my other grandparents tried to talk to her, her answers were curt and it was obvious she would rather not talk.

At first we thought it was because of my baby cousin, who cried nearly every time my grandmother held her. Thankfully, that has stopped. Other family members have noticed her behavior, and we are unsure of what may be causing it. -- SILENT TREATMENT IN NEW YORK

DEAR SILENT TREATMENT: Your grandmother may be upset about something, and her refusal to talk could be her way of expressing her displeasure, or she may be having a personal problem she's not ready to discuss. Because other family members have noticed and are commenting about it, your parents should tell your grandfather that the family is concerned and ask him for an explanation, because he may be in a position to shed some light on it.

DEAR ABBY: I read your column all the time. My husband and I have been married for 35 years. My husband has good friends who are women, and I have never objected when he stayed with them when he traveled from our home to Michigan.

One of the women he stays with called and they talked for hours. That's not right is it? My husband says she's just a good friend and it's only conversation.

Like I said, I didn't mind him staying with her because I trusted him. But now I'm leery and suspicious. I don't believe it's a sexual thing, but a long conversation hurts me more because I thought I was his best friend.

I told him, "Let's get counseling. If it doesn't work, we can divorce." He said, "You're not going to stop me from talking to my friends."

Abby, I need your opinion. -- LEERY IN FLORIDA

DEAR LEERY: Whatever is going on, you and your husband are having a communication problem. Instead of raising the subject of divorce with him, it may be time for you to get marriage counseling, alone if he won't go with you.

Your husband should be able to talk to his friends -- male and female -- if he wishes. For you to tell him otherwise makes you look more like his jailer than his wife. Some mediation may help you feel less threatened and help you both to get back on the same page.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 39-year-old female who hasn't been able to conceive. My sister has two children and one on the way. I love being an aunt, but I do want to be a mom myself. I'm recently divorced and have a nice home, a dependable vehicle and a job that I love. The only thing missing in my life is a child.

I have the opportunity to adopt a newborn baby from a family who is unable to care for her. She will be born in the next few months. When I speak to my friends and family about it, even though they would love for me to have a child, they say they don't think this is the right path for me. Although I want a child and always have, I'm now having concerns about it, too. Any advice you could share would be greatly appreciated. -- MOTHERLY INSTINCT IN GEORGIA

DEAR INSTINCT: I wish you had been clearer about why your family doesn't feel that adopting the baby would be the right path for you. However, since you weren't, let me offer this:

Many single parents -- whether single because of divorce, widowhood or by choice -- successfully raise children. At 39, with a home and a good job, you appear to be financially secure enough to provide for a child. Unless you have an emotional problem you didn't mention, or lack the patience to be a good mother, I see no reason why you shouldn't become one. However, because your friends and family have created doubt, discuss this with a counselor to clarify your thinking.

DEAR ABBY: What should I say to someone who expects an invitation to a wedding but will not be receiving one and they ask why they didn't get one? -- WHERE'S MY INVITATION?

DEAR WHERE'S: If someone is nervy enough to ask why he or she was not invited to the wedding, all you have to say is that for logistical reasons you had to limit your guest list.

DEAR ABBY: I recently enrolled in an internet dating site, and have been cyber-chatting with a very sweet gentleman. I am also 62 years young. My problem is I'm borderline obese, have gray hair, a few wrinkles and some dental problems. It's the reason I don't post photos of myself.

Someday, he may want to meet face-to-face, and I am more petrified than 2,000-year-old wood! He sounds and speaks so well -- soft and gentle. My heart has butterfly-wing feelings, not the head-over-heels emotions I had when I first met my late husband. Should I keep texting this gentleman, or just fade away from him? -- IS BEAUTY MORE THAN SKIN DEEP?

DEAR SKIN DEEP: Keep texting him, of course! Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That said, if your weight and dental problems are affecting your self-esteem, perhaps it's time you dealt with them rather than use them as an excuse to cut and run.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for the last year and a half. He is good to me and good to my 11-year-old daughter.

Recently, a man I have known for 40 years -- but have been in and out of touch with -- appeared back in my life. He was my first kiss at 6, and there were many unresolved feelings that I felt needed exploring. My daughter caught on and told me if I gave up my current relationship she would never forgive me, so I ended the relationship with my old friend, which left him with bitter feelings. Did I do the right thing? -- BITTER FEELINGS

DEAR BITTER: Because you felt it was appropriate to allow an 11-year-old to dictate your future, then yes, I suppose you did the right thing. In any case, it's a little late to second guess yourself now.

DEAR ABBY: This year I have the opportunity to travel to Europe with some friends. One of them, however, has the tendency to burp loudly when we are in public. She often does it at restaurants or other sit-down areas. I have tried telling her it's rude and disrespectful, but she doesn't care.

I don't want to go to Europe and have her burping in front of other people. I don't want to be labeled as a disrespectful tourist because of her. Is there anything I can say to her? Or is this a problem that I shouldn't get involved with? -- EMBARRASSED FRIEND

DEAR FRIEND: Could your friend have a medical problem that causes her to burp? If so, that may be why it happens and you shouldn't criticize her for it. However, if that's not the case, because her behavior causes you embarrassment, either rethink traveling with her or make sure you sit far away from her in public places.