DEAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old female and I can't find a job. My mom is cheating on my stepdad. I feel like I have to be as independent as possible right now, otherwise I won't be able to do things.

I need to raise money for a camera. Photography is my passion. It's all I want in life. It's the only thing I'll ever love, besides my grandma, who is 72 with dementia.

Please help. I'm in a very big pickle. Is there any point to living? How do I get a job at 13? How do I confront my mother? Why can't my grandma be cured? Why is my life the worst thing about me? Please help me. -- ANONYMOUS TEEN IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR TEEN: You're very young and it's clear you are experiencing a lot of turmoil. But right now, you already have a job, and it's to concentrate on your studies. The better your grades are, the stronger your chances will be of completing your education and becoming an independent adult. Good grades will better your chances of qualifying for financial aid to accomplish that goal.

What may seem overwhelming right now -- including your sadness about your grandmother's illness -- can be overcome by staying physically active. I'm sorry you're experiencing all this at such a tender age, but it would be good for both of you if you give her as much love, patience and understanding as you can. Although there may be no cure for her illness right now, the worldwide scientific community is searching for an answer.

If you have the courage, talk to your mother privately about your concerns because you may be mistaken about her cheating. It would be healthier than bottling up your feelings as you have been doing.

P.S. For extra money, consider dog-walking, baby-sitting and odd jobs such as doing yard work for neighbors.

DEAR ABBY: I am deeply disturbed to have learned after having been married to "John" for four years, that he never divorced his last wife. He insists they are legally divorced because she abandoned him 10 years ago.

I feel betrayed, used and abused, and I don't know what to do. We've built a home and combined our finances. I can't even pay bills without him. If I leave, I lose everything I have established. What do I do? Please help me feel adequate again. -- BETRAYED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR BETRAYED: Talk to an attorney immediately! If you were not aware that he wasn't divorced when you married him, he has committed fraud as well as bigamy. You should not lose everything you have established; in fact, he'll be lucky if he isn't prosecuted.

DEAR ABBY: How do you know if a guy likes you? -- ASHLEY IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR ASHLEY: If a guy pays attention to you or tries to get your attention, then the odds are pretty good that he likes you.

DEAR ABBY: Our house will soon be paid off. My husband and I would like to have a party to celebrate, but we're not sure if we should.

None of our friends are anywhere close to paying off their mortgages. We made the choice to drive old cars while our friends all have beautiful new ones, and we were genuinely happy for them each time they proudly showed them off.

I'm a stay-at-home mom, and I am our friends' emergency contact for their kids at school. They have taken amazing vacations, and we have enjoyed their stories and photographs. We used the time and money trips would have cost to stay home and work on projects around the house. We haven't envied them; we just had different goals.

Should we celebrate this -- just the two of us, or with our friends? -- DIFFERENT GOALS IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR DIFFERENT GOALS: True friends celebrate each other's victories. With no more mortgage to pay, you and your husband will now be able to enjoy some of the things your friends have been enjoying all these years. While some couples would prefer to mark the occasion with a special dinner at a nice restaurant, if you're inclined to do otherwise, then throw a party. You deserve it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to a wonderful man for 38 years. The issue is that sometimes I get insanely jealous. It isn't an everyday occurrence, but I become insecure because I feel my husband is too attractive to other women.

My husband is very outgoing and I am an introvert. I find myself accusing him, and he tells me I need to stop it. He reassures me that I'm the only woman he loves and wants in his life.

I don't want to destroy our wonderful marriage. I consider myself attractive. I need to stop letting my lack of self-confidence get the best of me. Please help. -- INSECURE IN OHIO

DEAR INSECURE: I wish I could wave a magic wand and make your feelings magically disappear, but I can't. The answer to your problem lies in finding out the cause of your deep-seated insecurity, because that's what triggers your jealousy. Until you do, nothing will change. A licensed mental health professional can help you get to the root of it and provide the tools to deal with it. Your physician should be able to refer you to someone who is qualified.

DEAR ABBY: I've been with my husband for five years, but we've been married only for a year. He told me a few months ago that his ex-girlfriend said he is the father of her child. We did a home DNA test and it showed he is not the father. In spite of that, my husband insists he still wants to take care of the child. I don't know what to do. Please help. -- THROWN IN NEW YORK

DEAR THROWN: It appears that what your husband wants is to maintain a close tie to the child's mother, because that is what will happen if he takes financial responsibility for her child. Tell your husband you want to discuss this with the help of a professional mediator, preferably a marriage counselor. If he refuses, talk to an attorney because you may be needing one.

DEAR ABBY: I have seen letters in your column from parents who want to ensure their children's and teenagers' safety when visiting their friends' homes. A question parents need to ask the hosting parents is what their drug and alcohol policy is.

We wrongly assumed (and trusted) that our daughter's friends' parents did not facilitate access to alcohol or drugs to minors. We realized -- too late -- that from the time she was 15, our daughter had access to unmonitored alcohol and was sometimes encouraged to consume it in these homes.

Many parents think it's OK if teens drink alcohol under supervision, as long as the parents are there and they have possession of the car keys. They wrongly rationalize that the teens are going to do it anyway, so why not under supervision?

What these good-time parents don't consider is that a teen who may have a genetic predisposition to addiction may have just gotten a switch turned on in his or her developing brain. You can't look at people and know if they are prone to addiction. In our case, our daughter's addiction became a long, difficult struggle, which led to the untimely death of our smart and talented daughter at age 24. -- GRIEVING MOM IN RENO

DEAR GRIEVING MOM: I am sorry for the tragic loss of your daughter. In most states, providing alcohol to minors is against the law, not only for public safety, but also for the reason you stated.

Years ago, I spoke with a gentleman who was active with the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (NCADD), when he repeated something he'd heard at an AA meeting. He said the subject being discussed at the meeting was what it felt like having that "very first drink." One of the members stood up and said, "It was like someone switched a light on in my head, and I said to myself, 'So that's what it's like to feel normal!'" This is why it is imperative that families with a history of addiction make their children aware of it and clearly understand why it's important they avoid addictive substances even if their friends are indulging.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is obsessed with his personal electronic devices and insists on using one most of the time. He gets angry if I ask him to stop even for a short time. But the worst part is, he routinely takes his tablet into the bathroom with him for extended periods. And no, he does not sanitize the tablet afterward -- or ever, for that matter.

Abby, he reads your column and I'm hoping you might comment on this unsafe and repulsive habit. Please help, because he won't listen to me. -- GROSSED OUT IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR GROSSED OUT: Because your husband gets angry when you ask him to put his electronics down, it appears he may have an obsession. Not only is what he's doing rude, but it isn't healthy for your marriage because communication is important between spouses. When he takes his tablet into the bathroom "for a long time," could he be viewing or texting things he wants to keep from you?

As to his hygiene habits, smartphones and tablets can be more unhygienic than toilet seats if they're used for "toilet texting." The user's hands should be washed afterward, and the device should be disinfected, too -- particularly if it will be in contact with the user's face.