DEAR ABBY: Our house will soon be paid off. My husband and I would like to have a party to celebrate, but we're not sure if we should.

None of our friends are anywhere close to paying off their mortgages. We made the choice to drive old cars while our friends all have beautiful new ones, and we were genuinely happy for them each time they proudly showed them off.

I'm a stay-at-home mom, and I am our friends' emergency contact for their kids at school. They have taken amazing vacations, and we have enjoyed their stories and photographs. We used the time and money trips would have cost to stay home and work on projects around the house. We haven't envied them; we just had different goals.

Should we celebrate this -- just the two of us, or with our friends? -- DIFFERENT GOALS IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR DIFFERENT GOALS: True friends celebrate each other's victories. With no more mortgage to pay, you and your husband will now be able to enjoy some of the things your friends have been enjoying all these years. While some couples would prefer to mark the occasion with a special dinner at a nice restaurant, if you're inclined to do otherwise, then throw a party. You deserve it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to a wonderful man for 38 years. The issue is that sometimes I get insanely jealous. It isn't an everyday occurrence, but I become insecure because I feel my husband is too attractive to other women.

My husband is very outgoing and I am an introvert. I find myself accusing him, and he tells me I need to stop it. He reassures me that I'm the only woman he loves and wants in his life.

I don't want to destroy our wonderful marriage. I consider myself attractive. I need to stop letting my lack of self-confidence get the best of me. Please help. -- INSECURE IN OHIO

DEAR INSECURE: I wish I could wave a magic wand and make your feelings magically disappear, but I can't. The answer to your problem lies in finding out the cause of your deep-seated insecurity, because that's what triggers your jealousy. Until you do, nothing will change. A licensed mental health professional can help you get to the root of it and provide the tools to deal with it. Your physician should be able to refer you to someone who is qualified.

DEAR ABBY: I've been with my husband for five years, but we've been married only for a year. He told me a few months ago that his ex-girlfriend said he is the father of her child. We did a home DNA test and it showed he is not the father. In spite of that, my husband insists he still wants to take care of the child. I don't know what to do. Please help. -- THROWN IN NEW YORK

DEAR THROWN: It appears that what your husband wants is to maintain a close tie to the child's mother, because that is what will happen if he takes financial responsibility for her child. Tell your husband you want to discuss this with the help of a professional mediator, preferably a marriage counselor. If he refuses, talk to an attorney because you may be needing one.

DEAR ABBY: I have seen letters in your column from parents who want to ensure their children's and teenagers' safety when visiting their friends' homes. A question parents need to ask the hosting parents is what their drug and alcohol policy is.

We wrongly assumed (and trusted) that our daughter's friends' parents did not facilitate access to alcohol or drugs to minors. We realized -- too late -- that from the time she was 15, our daughter had access to unmonitored alcohol and was sometimes encouraged to consume it in these homes.

Many parents think it's OK if teens drink alcohol under supervision, as long as the parents are there and they have possession of the car keys. They wrongly rationalize that the teens are going to do it anyway, so why not under supervision?

What these good-time parents don't consider is that a teen who may have a genetic predisposition to addiction may have just gotten a switch turned on in his or her developing brain. You can't look at people and know if they are prone to addiction. In our case, our daughter's addiction became a long, difficult struggle, which led to the untimely death of our smart and talented daughter at age 24. -- GRIEVING MOM IN RENO

DEAR GRIEVING MOM: I am sorry for the tragic loss of your daughter. In most states, providing alcohol to minors is against the law, not only for public safety, but also for the reason you stated.

Years ago, I spoke with a gentleman who was active with the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (NCADD), when he repeated something he'd heard at an AA meeting. He said the subject being discussed at the meeting was what it felt like having that "very first drink." One of the members stood up and said, "It was like someone switched a light on in my head, and I said to myself, 'So that's what it's like to feel normal!'" This is why it is imperative that families with a history of addiction make their children aware of it and clearly understand why it's important they avoid addictive substances even if their friends are indulging.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is obsessed with his personal electronic devices and insists on using one most of the time. He gets angry if I ask him to stop even for a short time. But the worst part is, he routinely takes his tablet into the bathroom with him for extended periods. And no, he does not sanitize the tablet afterward -- or ever, for that matter.

Abby, he reads your column and I'm hoping you might comment on this unsafe and repulsive habit. Please help, because he won't listen to me. -- GROSSED OUT IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR GROSSED OUT: Because your husband gets angry when you ask him to put his electronics down, it appears he may have an obsession. Not only is what he's doing rude, but it isn't healthy for your marriage because communication is important between spouses. When he takes his tablet into the bathroom "for a long time," could he be viewing or texting things he wants to keep from you?

As to his hygiene habits, smartphones and tablets can be more unhygienic than toilet seats if they're used for "toilet texting." The user's hands should be washed afterward, and the device should be disinfected, too -- particularly if it will be in contact with the user's face.

DEAR ABBY: I have always tried to be a compassionate person. I have experienced a lot of abuse, and I'm sensitive to others who go through it. A man across the street from me has been arrested three times in the last six months for domestic abuse. I rarely see a woman there, so I don't know if the victim is a woman or a child. I moved into the neighborhood only six months ago. My elderly mother lives here with me.

I'm torn about what to do. My heart says I should reach out to the people who live there and make friends with them. My head says stay out of their business because I don't need the drama.

How do we as a society not turn a blind eye to abuse in our neighborhoods and still protect ourselves and loved ones? I don't want to put my mother or myself in jeopardy, but I don't want the person/people in that house to think they are alone. -- NO MORE IN TEXAS

DEAR NO MORE: While I applaud you for being so caring, for your own safety, I caution you to proceed very slowly in getting to know these people. Some communities provide anonymous tip lines so citizens can report a crime without endangering themselves or their families. The best thing you can do is to keep your eyes open and if something is happening, call the police and report it. If it involves a child, contact child protective services.

DEAR ABBY: My parents and I were always close. However, recently they stole my debit card, my PIN and child support check. They forged my signature and spent the entire check, which was more than $1,000.

I am always lending them money. I have never said no when they needed it. To top it off, they lied to me about the check for an entire month. I only found out when I turned the fraud in to the bank and heard it was my parents who had committed it.

Now my account is frozen and I am wiped out. I have two kids and one on the way, and recently I lost my job. My mother keeps trying to make me feel guilty for turning them in and doesn't understand why I am mad. I am having trouble forgiving them. I am just so angry. Should I forgive them, or do I have the right to be mad? -- FORGIVE OR FORGET IN MICHIGAN

DEAR FORGIVE OR FORGET: One of the hallmarks of abusers is that they try to make their victims think the abuse was in some way their own fault. Your mother fully understands why you are angry. You must not allow her to make you feel guilty.

Your parents stole from you and their grandchildren. They appear to have no conscience. Now you know what they are capable of, it is important that you keep your distance from them, or they'll do it again.

DEAR ABBY: Can an atheist be a godparent? -- WONDERING IN WISCONSIN

DEAR WONDERING: Yes. Today, the word "godparent" does not always have explicitly religious overtones. A godparent can be anyone the parents trust to take care of their child in the event of the parents' deaths. However, the potential godparents and the child's parents should discuss this in detail before any decision is made about conferring such an honor and responsibility.