DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law has begun doing the "pop-in." My husband passive-aggressively hinted that he wished he had known she was coming over. Her response was, "I'm your mother; I don't need to let you know when I'm coming over." I regard this as total disrespect.

She has done this plenty of times -- including popping in when I was having a dinner with my parents and children, which made her mad because she and my father-in-law hadn't been invited.

She did the pop-in again last week. My husband, four children and I were about to sit down to a family dinner when she rang the doorbell. I didn't have enough food for her and my father-in-law, which made us all uncomfortable. She made a sarcastic comment, "Gee, I guess I shouldn't have come over," then she sat in the living room staring at us as we ate.

I have begged my husband to say something, but he says it would be disrespectful. I said it is disrespectful that she comes over without checking with us first. What's your take on this? -- NO POP-INS, PLEASE

DEAR NO POP-INS: You have my sympathy. Your mother-in-law is a handful. Your husband may be so cowed by his mother that he's afraid to assert himself. You are under no obligation to entertain anyone who pops in, including her. The next time she shows up unannounced, remind her to call first and suggest that she come back some other time.

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee has a 15-year-old son, "Jason," who spends countless hours in his room playing Xbox with his buddies. He is loud and obviously has fun, by the sound of it. However, when he comes out for meals, he doesn't communicate or answer questions like, "How was school?" or "What do you think of that?"

My fiancee and I don't live together. We see each other three times a year for two to three weeks at a time. My fiancee says Jason acts the same way whether I'm here or not. He isn't close with his dad, either.

Is this a phase that he will grow out of, or does he need professional help? We get along, but there is never much conversation. I ask questions to encourage interaction, but it hasn't been successful. -- FRUSTRATED IN MONTANA

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Whether Jason's going through a phase or not depends on whether he has always had poor verbal skills and ignored questions he was asked. He might be reluctant to answer because he's having problems socially or academically in school, or because the opinions you're asking for concern things he has never given much thought to.

Boys that age are sometimes less verbal than when they are older, and their dependence on social media has contributed to it. Teens who spend most of their time in the virtual world tend to have lower verbal abilities than those who spend less.

If you and your fiancee are truly concerned, she should talk about this with a counselor at Jason's school and ask if counseling or intervention of any kind is needed.

DEAR ABBY: I have had a best friend for more than 20 years. We met when we were 18 and have been inseparable ever since. I was best man in his wedding, and when his first child was born, I traveled six hours to be at the hospital when "Sara" was born. I have never missed a birthday or Christmas.

When my friend announced they were moving from Ohio to Arizona, I knew I couldn't be away from him and his family, so I moved as well. I have no family of my own, and I adore his two girls.

Well, Sara turned 13 this year and like most teenagers, she's distancing herself from her family and even more so from me. When her mom and dad invite me for dinner or a family get-together, she barely acknowledges me when I say hi or ask how she's doing. She wants nothing to do with me. It breaks my heart. I love her and I consider her to be family.

My question is, should I continue to go and support her with her sporting events at school? (I have never missed a game.) Do I continue to shower her with birthday and Christmas gifts?

On one hand, I tell myself this is just a phase she is going through and to change nothing, hoping one day she realizes that I'm her biggest cheerleader and recognizes the love I have for her. On the other hand, I think she's acting like a spoiled brat, and if she doesn't know how to treat people, then I want nothing to do with her. How should I handle this? -- UN-UNCLE IN ARIZONA

DEAR UN-UNCLE: I am sure what you are feeling isn't any different than what Sara's parents are feeling right now. I agree that she is probably going through a phase and "just being a teenager." My advice is to give her some space and hope that when she finally pulls out of it she will recognize how lucky she is to have such a loving un-uncle. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

DEAR ABBY: My sister and I are senior citizens with health problems, so we share an apartment to minimize expenses and to be sure someone is around if needed. My brother and his wife sometimes socialize with us.

The problem is, my brother has a friend. The friend and his wife constantly use foul language. I don't like hearing the F-bomb used as an everyday part of speech. I have tried modeling correct behavior and not cursing, but it hasn't worked. How can I ask them to stop without alienating them and losing my brother and his friend? -- APPALLED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR APPALLED: In recent decades there has been a coarsening of the language many individuals use on a daily basis, and it's regrettable. However, that doesn't mean you must listen to it and remain silent.

The next time it happens, tell your brother and his friends that when they use the F-bomb, it makes you and your sister uncomfortable and ask them to please refrain from dropping it when they are with you. That's not an unreasonable request, and it shouldn't alienate anyone.

DEAR ABBY: After planning to not have children, my partner and I had to adopt one of his family members. Long story short, it was us or an unsafe situation.

I have never in my life had an interest in children or spent any time with them. After a few years, I still have no interest in parenting. I work long hours, so my partner does most of it, but he is better at it, so it makes sense.

I ensure that the child's needs are met. I organize events, take him to point A or B, but have no interest in bonding or spending time with him -- no desire to form a connection, which I feel some guilt about. Deep down, I resent having been forced to take on a responsibility I never wanted in the first place. Is it good enough to provide a safe, stable home with opportunities for a child, but not to love or form a special connection with him? -- RELUCTANT PARENT IN TEXAS

DEAR RELUCTANT: In your case, it appears it's going to have to be. We don't have to love everyone, but we do have to treat them well, which you have done to the best of your ability. But recognize that if you are truly unable to form an emotional bond with the child, his only attachment will be to your partner. And because of all the effort you have put into raising him, it's rather sad -- for you.

DEAR ABBY: I noticed a picture of a young boy on Facebook. He appeared to be about 4 or 5. He was holding a sign stating that if he received 20,000 "likes," his father would quit smoking. My immediate reaction was, "Isn't the fact that your son loves you enough to make you be healthy?"

I question the values we are teaching our young children. In a world where the trend is to conform and gather likes, how much value should we allow our children to place on the opinions of others? Should our self-esteem and actions be based this heavily on being "liked" by strangers or peers? I'm an old-fashioned gal who believes in family ties and the strength a person develops by acting independently. -- BELIEVES IN FAMILY TIES

DEAR BELIEVES: Whether we like it or not, people -- especially young people -- depend upon the affirmation of others. The internet provides a quick and easy way for folks to bring attention to themselves or to a cause they believe in. Whether this phenomenon is healthy, I cannot say -- but of this I am certain: It's here to stay.

I agree with you that for his health and for the sake of his child, the father should quit smoking without being bribed with computer clicks. Between you and me, I suspect it was something the boy's mother dreamed up. Perhaps I'm suffering from "cuteness fatigue." But if you believe a child thought that gambit up on his own, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I'd like to sell you.