DEAR ABBY: My friend "Russ" is a sweet, quiet, reserved guy with a goofy side. He's in his mid-20s, but has never kissed a girl or gone out on a date. (He is the kind of person girls regard as a brother figure.) He has no confidence and doesn't drink, dance or let loose. I have seen his dating profiles, and they are brutally unappealing.

I want to help Russ find someone before it's too late. I hate seeing him lonely. He needs someone to give him a chance and help him learn to be more confident. I know it's wrong to try to change someone, but I feel if he doesn't get some help, no one will ever give him the time of day. He needs a sense of adventure and, frankly, a change of wardrobe.

How can I help this "good boy" get the attention of the ladies? -- AMANDA IN WYOMING

DEAR AMANDA: You are a good friend. Talk to Russ and ask if he would be open to a bit of "coaching" to improve his social life. Tell him you have seen his dating profiles and offer to help him tweak them. If new photos are needed, suggest you go shopping together for a new outfit (or two), so he will have a more "contemporary" look. If he needs to learn to dance, show him some steps.

He may accept some help if you approach the subject with sensitivity. However, I'm not sure how much more than that you can do because, in the end, Russ is going to have to find a girl whose values mirror his own.

DEAR ABBY: Our 2-year-old granddaughter is using "dirty words" during her visits with us. We have tried ignoring her, and also popping her on the bottom while saying "no." Her mother uses this language, so this situation is very confusing for our granddaughter. Please help. -- CONFUSED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CONFUSED: Someone needs to explain to the mother that the "dirty words" her daughter is being taught are normal are sure to create problems for her when she's old enough for school. Perhaps it will be the wakeup call she needs to clean up her vocabulary.

However, if that isn't effective, then it's up to you to teach your granddaughter that dirty words cannot be used in your home. Reward her when she remembers, remind her when she forgets and institute penalties if it persists. That's how kids learn, and you will be doing her a favor if you start early.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for 50 years. We were both raised in a conservative religion, but haven't attended Sunday services in a long time.

I have become more liberal than my wife over the years, and I recently attended a service at a liberal, internationally recognized church. I felt I belonged immediately. I had never before felt so happy to be with like-minded worshippers. My wife had huge issues with it, and the next time I wanted to attend, she got very upset. There was an iciness around the house for three days after I went. That was a month ago, and I haven't gone again.

I resent my wife's resistance. This coming Sunday, I plan to tell her I'll be "going out" and will be back in a couple of hours. No doubt she'll know I'm at church, and I'll pay the price with her cold attitude or tears. Does she have a right to tell me I can't attend a particular church? -- MOVED BY THE SPIRIT

DEAR MOVED: No, she does not! In light of the fact that you haven't attended church together in years, she should be happy for you.

DEAR ABBY: I need your help in dealing with an old "frenemy." "Jenny" and I were friends in high school, but she constantly berated me and accused me of taking advantage of her. She would make herself feel better by putting me down.

After she went away to college, she got pregnant by a non-boyfriend. When she had an abortion, she swore me to secrecy because she didn't tell the father. Shortly thereafter, he came to me and tricked me into telling him. To this day, Jenny still blames me and says I was out to get her and ruin her life.

Jenny spread rumors about me around our group of friends, on the internet, and told my mom horrible lies about me. She even threatened a lawsuit. Ten years later, she still pops up out of the blue to attack me. A year ago, she sent me a message saying she wished I had died in a tornado that struck my area. She sends taunts about an old boyfriend of mine who got married and had a kid.

I never respond because that's what she wants. She pops up at the worst times and makes me feel worse. How should I deal with her? -- AT A BOILING POINT IN TENNESSEE

DEAR BOILING: Continue to ignore this troubled woman. Block her anywhere you can, and delete any messages that leak through so you won't have to see them. If you have mutual friends who don't know the whole story, you should have enlightened them years ago -- and the same goes for your mother.

Jenny appears to have serious issues. She isn't a "frenemy." She is strictly bad news, so recognize it and move on.

DEAR ABBY: While preparing a letter at work, I noticed that it was going to be mailed to a married lesbian couple. Typically, the correct way to address an envelope to a woman would be to Ms., Miss or Mrs. and to a male it's either Mr. or Master, depending upon his age.

What's the proper way to address a gay couple? Is M/M still used in place of Mr. and Mr. and Mrs. and Mrs.? -- PROPER IN ILLINOIS

DEAR PROPER: According to Steven Petrow's "Complete Gay and Lesbian Manners," the correct way to address the envelopes of married gay and lesbian couples should be (in alphabetical order):

Mr. Bradley Burch and Mr. Mark Foster

Ms. Cecelia Carter and Ms. Diane Grant

Or, if the couple shares the same last name:

Mr. Bradley and Mr. Mark Burch

Ms. Cecelia and Ms. Diane Carter

DEAR ABBY: Now that I'm older, I often find it hard to remember all the names and amounts of my prescriptions when I visit my various doctors. To help myself, I now carry in my wallet a small copy of a spreadsheet listing all my medication information. That way, I can give accurate details to the physician.

I'd like to pass my solution on to other readers who may have the same need to be precise and up-to-date when visiting the doctor. -- IN GOOD HEALTH IN AUSTIN

DEAR IN GOOD HEALTH: That's a suggestion worth sharing. And while you are at it, you should also list for your doctor any vitamins, supplements and over-the-counter meds you take on a regular basis. This information can also be stored in your smartphone, if you have one.

DEAR ABBY: My mom wants me to exercise more. Currently, I just walk a lot (in my house and around the block). I know exercise is a good idea, but I'm really self-conscious about it. I never feel like I'm doing it right (because I know you can easily pull a muscle), and I feel like everyone else in the gym is judging me.

Now that I'm 17, Mom expects me to be more mature about this. I don't even feel comfortable swimming in public places anymore. I feel stressed about it, but Mom just thinks I'm being picky.

Being in a gym makes me feel unhappy and judged. I wish there was a better way to exercise, but I don't know what. How can I get my mom to understand how hard this is for me? -- WONDERING IN WICHITA

DEAR WONDERING: Going to a gym can be fun if you do it with a buddy. Most of the people there are more concerned with what they are doing than what anyone else is. That said, going to the gym isn't for everyone. There are many forms of exercise.

Tell your mother you would prefer to exercise on your own rather than go to a gym. Then put on your walking shoes, leave the house and walk for 20 to 30 minutes a day. It's good for you. Listen to music when you're doing it and it will make the time go quickly. And on days when you don't want to go outside, put on some music and dance. It's good for the circulation, and it's also good for the soul.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 44 years. We eloped in high school and still feel like newlyweds. We built a successful business, ran it for 40 years and recently had an opportunity to sell it.

The problem is my mother. We bought a second home in California, but kept our first home. Every time I call to ask how she and Dad are doing, she responds with, "You don't care how we are. If you did, you would be here."

I love our new life. Our kids are grown, and we are enjoying ourselves to the fullest. We are both in excellent health, and still young at heart. How can we tell her that we have a life we love without her being so resentful? -- LOVING LIFE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LOVING: You can't, because your mother feels you should be at her beck and call. She has had you close since you were a child, and now she may be feeling deserted.

At this point, I don't advise telling your mother that you "have a life you love" without her. Instead, I suggest that you phrase your greeting to her more carefully.

Rather than ask how she and your dad are doing, say that you are "calling to check in." Say that you were thinking about her. And if she starts in with "you don't care," tell her that you do care or you wouldn't be on the phone with her, but if she keeps giving you a guilt trip, she'll be hearing from you less.

DEAR ABBY: If you go to a party and bring something (chips, soda, etc.), what is the rule of etiquette about taking it home when you leave? -- PRACTICAL IN IDAHO

DEAR PRACTICAL: When someone brings food to a party, it could be considered a host/hostess gift. Before taking any of it home, first ask your host or hostess if it would be all right. While some people wouldn't mind, others may, so you shouldn't assume that because you brought something that the leftovers are yours.