DEAR ABBY: I need your help in dealing with an old "frenemy." "Jenny" and I were friends in high school, but she constantly berated me and accused me of taking advantage of her. She would make herself feel better by putting me down.

After she went away to college, she got pregnant by a non-boyfriend. When she had an abortion, she swore me to secrecy because she didn't tell the father. Shortly thereafter, he came to me and tricked me into telling him. To this day, Jenny still blames me and says I was out to get her and ruin her life.

Jenny spread rumors about me around our group of friends, on the internet, and told my mom horrible lies about me. She even threatened a lawsuit. Ten years later, she still pops up out of the blue to attack me. A year ago, she sent me a message saying she wished I had died in a tornado that struck my area. She sends taunts about an old boyfriend of mine who got married and had a kid.

I never respond because that's what she wants. She pops up at the worst times and makes me feel worse. How should I deal with her? -- AT A BOILING POINT IN TENNESSEE

DEAR BOILING: Continue to ignore this troubled woman. Block her anywhere you can, and delete any messages that leak through so you won't have to see them. If you have mutual friends who don't know the whole story, you should have enlightened them years ago -- and the same goes for your mother.

Jenny appears to have serious issues. She isn't a "frenemy." She is strictly bad news, so recognize it and move on.

DEAR ABBY: While preparing a letter at work, I noticed that it was going to be mailed to a married lesbian couple. Typically, the correct way to address an envelope to a woman would be to Ms., Miss or Mrs. and to a male it's either Mr. or Master, depending upon his age.

What's the proper way to address a gay couple? Is M/M still used in place of Mr. and Mr. and Mrs. and Mrs.? -- PROPER IN ILLINOIS

DEAR PROPER: According to Steven Petrow's "Complete Gay and Lesbian Manners," the correct way to address the envelopes of married gay and lesbian couples should be (in alphabetical order):

Mr. Bradley Burch and Mr. Mark Foster

Ms. Cecelia Carter and Ms. Diane Grant

Or, if the couple shares the same last name:

Mr. Bradley and Mr. Mark Burch

Ms. Cecelia and Ms. Diane Carter

DEAR ABBY: Now that I'm older, I often find it hard to remember all the names and amounts of my prescriptions when I visit my various doctors. To help myself, I now carry in my wallet a small copy of a spreadsheet listing all my medication information. That way, I can give accurate details to the physician.

I'd like to pass my solution on to other readers who may have the same need to be precise and up-to-date when visiting the doctor. -- IN GOOD HEALTH IN AUSTIN

DEAR IN GOOD HEALTH: That's a suggestion worth sharing. And while you are at it, you should also list for your doctor any vitamins, supplements and over-the-counter meds you take on a regular basis. This information can also be stored in your smartphone, if you have one.

DEAR ABBY: My mom wants me to exercise more. Currently, I just walk a lot (in my house and around the block). I know exercise is a good idea, but I'm really self-conscious about it. I never feel like I'm doing it right (because I know you can easily pull a muscle), and I feel like everyone else in the gym is judging me.

Now that I'm 17, Mom expects me to be more mature about this. I don't even feel comfortable swimming in public places anymore. I feel stressed about it, but Mom just thinks I'm being picky.

Being in a gym makes me feel unhappy and judged. I wish there was a better way to exercise, but I don't know what. How can I get my mom to understand how hard this is for me? -- WONDERING IN WICHITA

DEAR WONDERING: Going to a gym can be fun if you do it with a buddy. Most of the people there are more concerned with what they are doing than what anyone else is. That said, going to the gym isn't for everyone. There are many forms of exercise.

Tell your mother you would prefer to exercise on your own rather than go to a gym. Then put on your walking shoes, leave the house and walk for 20 to 30 minutes a day. It's good for you. Listen to music when you're doing it and it will make the time go quickly. And on days when you don't want to go outside, put on some music and dance. It's good for the circulation, and it's also good for the soul.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 44 years. We eloped in high school and still feel like newlyweds. We built a successful business, ran it for 40 years and recently had an opportunity to sell it.

The problem is my mother. We bought a second home in California, but kept our first home. Every time I call to ask how she and Dad are doing, she responds with, "You don't care how we are. If you did, you would be here."

I love our new life. Our kids are grown, and we are enjoying ourselves to the fullest. We are both in excellent health, and still young at heart. How can we tell her that we have a life we love without her being so resentful? -- LOVING LIFE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LOVING: You can't, because your mother feels you should be at her beck and call. She has had you close since you were a child, and now she may be feeling deserted.

At this point, I don't advise telling your mother that you "have a life you love" without her. Instead, I suggest that you phrase your greeting to her more carefully.

Rather than ask how she and your dad are doing, say that you are "calling to check in." Say that you were thinking about her. And if she starts in with "you don't care," tell her that you do care or you wouldn't be on the phone with her, but if she keeps giving you a guilt trip, she'll be hearing from you less.

DEAR ABBY: If you go to a party and bring something (chips, soda, etc.), what is the rule of etiquette about taking it home when you leave? -- PRACTICAL IN IDAHO

DEAR PRACTICAL: When someone brings food to a party, it could be considered a host/hostess gift. Before taking any of it home, first ask your host or hostess if it would be all right. While some people wouldn't mind, others may, so you shouldn't assume that because you brought something that the leftovers are yours.

DEAR ABBY: In the beginning of our marriage there was physical abuse and marital rape. I stayed anyway. Over the years we had two children. My husband, "Seth," and I don't communicate because he has refused to talk about any issues we have. During the last few years, my youngest son has also become physically abusive to me.

I tried to leave many times but failed until last December when, because I had a heart attack, I finally moved in with family. I did it for the sake of my health and my sanity.

Seth now wants to talk about our issues. He suggested that I come back home. He has several medical problems, so I was taking care of all the household chores and working two jobs. My children will not help with the chores unless I scream and yell for hours.

I no longer love my husband. He wants to romance me and try to make me love him again. He is also very controlling. He feels I "owe" him a chance to prove that he loves me and can change. Am I wrong for leaving and letting go? I'm very confused. -- LETTING GO IN FLORIDA

DEAR LETTING GO: You owe this man absolutely nothing! If you allow Seth the chance to romance you into coming back to take care of him, you will wind up exactly where you started.

Your son abuses you because that is what he saw his father doing -- and you allowed it. If you stand your ground now, it will show your son that abuse is not to be tolerated. I hope you will teach him that lesson because it is an important one for him to learn.

DEAR ABBY: Four months ago my wife started wearing more makeup, perfume and trying new things with her hair. It began after she was promoted to store manager. Recently, I found out that someone has been flirting with her. (She would never have told me on her own.)

Our sex life has decreased more and more over the last few months. She barely speaks to me now and spends most of her time on Facebook. She refuses to discuss our relationship, and I suspect she may be looking for someone new or has already found him.

I just don't get it. I love her. We have been married for nine years. Please help me to understand. -- FEELING LONELY

DEAR FEELING LONELY: Your wife may not want to discuss your relationship, but sometimes it's the things people least want to talk about that most need to be. If you haven't already, tell your wife you have noticed the changes in her behavior and in your level of intimacy, and you miss it. Tell her you love her and feel your marriage is threatened.

If she still doesn't want to discuss your relationship, tell her it's time the two of you go see a marriage and family therapist together. What you were told may be no more than a flirtation, but if it's more than that, it's better you know sooner rather than later. I hope your wife will agree, but if she doesn't, then for your own sake, get some counseling without her.

DEAR ABBY: Do you field more questions from unmarried couples living together than from married couples? I can only judge from what is printed. -- INQUISITIVE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR INQUISITIVE: That's an interesting question. Frankly, I have never broken down the letters into categories like "married" or "cohabiting." Many people live together before marriage today, but eventually progress to formalizing their relationship. Others do not. Married or not, their relationship questions interest me, or I wouldn't print them.