DEAR ABBY: A few months ago I left my husband after a long marriage, mostly due to his drinking. He often insisted on getting behind the wheel while drunk, and I was uncomfortable about it, although I repeatedly begged him not to do it.

Since our split he has been drinking much later at his favorite bar. Where he used to come home about 8, he now stays until 10 or 11. He recently had an accident on his way home from the bar, but managed to get away before the police arrived.

Part of me wants to contact the police and report it because I would feel horrible if he hurt someone and I had done nothing to stop it. I admit there are also selfish reasons I'd like to see him picked up. My concern is that he'll find out I turned him in. Any suggestion on what to do? -- NERVOUS IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR NERVOUS: Your husband is a menace on the road, and unless something is done to stop him, he may kill somebody. I say this not only because it is common sense, but also because the daughter-in-law of a friend of mine was the victim in a terrible accident caused by a man who was blind drunk. She was the only survivor; two others died. Her injuries are extensive and traumatic, and it may take years for her to fully recover.

So, please, put aside your personal issues. For the safety of the community, turn him in. If his car was damaged, you would not be the only person who is aware of it.

DEAR ABBY: "Kirk" and I have been together for 10 years, married for five. We're nearing our 30s, and the idea of a child has come up. While I have never had any desire for children, I'm becoming more open to the idea. My parents divorced when I was young, so I have a fear of being a single mom. Kirk grew up never knowing his father, so he has always wanted to take on that role.

Kirk is a wonderful, loving husband, but when he's tired, he doesn't always handle things well. We have two dogs, and when they bother Kirk during the night or when he wants to be left alone, he gets frustrated. I'm wondering if this is an example of how he would be if we were to have a baby.

I have discussed my concerns with him; he says it would be different because it would involve a child, not a pet. I love my dogs dearly and feel they should have their needs met as children do, no matter the circumstances. Is it possible that Kirk will be different with our child, or is this how he'll react when he's disturbed in the middle of the night? -- LOOKING TOWARD THE FUTURE

DEAR LOOKING: That depends upon how Kirk reacts when he becomes "frustrated." Most adults are mature and rational enough to differentiate between an animal's need for attention and a small child's, and react appropriately.

However, since you are approaching this rationally in advance of becoming pregnant, it might quiet your fears if you and Kirk were to join some parenting classes together. Your OB/GYN might be able to tell you where to locate one. Or go online and do a web search on parenting classes in your area.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I and our 13-year-old son live in a nice home we have been remodeling for the last eight years. The problem is, my wife has a hard time getting rid of anything, and she constantly brings home "new projects" that take up space but never get done. At one point, we hired a professional organizer because we had reached the point of having "goat trails" as the only means of navigating our way around the house. We also have a barn that is chockablock full.

I have heard that the root cause may be due to an anomaly on a chromosome. How should I approach my wife about getting some genetic testing done? Her mom is also a professional pack rat. The clutter is taking its toll on our relationship -- we are in marriage counseling -- and on our family. We have so much stuff I can't breathe. -- SUFFOCATING IN MONTANA

DEAR SUFFOCATING: It is interesting that your wife's mother also has this problem. Hoarding is related to obsessive-compulsive disorder, which can run in families, and has been known to be associated with depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder.

It couldn't hurt if your wife had genetic testing done, but the suggestion might be better coming from the marriage counselor rather than from you, because if she hears it from you, she might become defensive or resistant.

DEAR ABBY: I have worked at the same small company for 25 years. All but one of the employees have been with this company for more than 20 years. "Grace" has been here only three years. She is pleasant, funny, trustworthy and easy to be around. However, she never brings her own lunch.

If something is in the refrigerator, she feels it is fair game to eat it. If I bring something she wants, she will come up to me, take the bag and ask, "What's for lunch this week?"

I keep snacks in my desk, and she knows which drawer I keep them in. When I reach for something to hold me over, sometimes the drawer will be empty and the bag will be on her desk or in her trash. It infuriates me.

I have made subtle comments on how this upsets me. I have progressed to no longer bringing my lunch. I know she can afford her own lunch. She earns more than I do and doesn't have children or a mortgage. How do I tell this woman to keep her hands off my lunch and snacks? -- HUNGRY IN HOUSTON

DEAR HUNGRY: How "trustworthy" can Grace be if she steals your food? When her outrageous behavior and petty thievery started, you shouldn't have hinted -- you should have told the woman to keep her hands off your lunch and out of your desk drawers. If she didn't respect your wishes, you should have reported it to your supervisor or your boss.

It's still not too late to do that, and I suggest that if there isn't a policy in your company handbook pertaining to this kind of pilfering that one be included.

DEAR ABBY: I am at the end of my wits, and I need some answers. I am almost 13 and dread being a teenager because I don't want things to be complicated. I used to have depression and felt suicidal, but I never told anybody. I eventually got over it and am now physically fine. But I'm not emotionally stable.

Recently, I was told things I don't know how to react to. Among them was, "Wow, your voice is deep," and, "Your laugh sounds like a witch." Most of the time I'm a happy-go-lucky person, but in the last few weeks I have been flickering from happy to sad and have no idea how I feel. It's almost like I don't know who I am anymore. I'm wondering, is this a mental disorder? Or am I simply being silly? -- CONFUSED TEEN IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CONFUSED: I do not think you are being silly. However, I DO think you should have been discussing your feelings with your parents since the time you began feeling depressed to the point of feeling suicidal.

Whether or not your mood swings are symptoms of something serious, I'm not qualified to say. But I hope you will show this letter to your parents and tell them you wrote it. If you do have some sort of mental disorder (which I doubt), the sooner you are properly diagnosed and treated, the better it will be for you.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I attended a party hosted by a well-respected couple who love to entertain. They have a spotless, beautiful home and are the essence of what you would hope to find in party hosts. Upon our arrival, we were greeted at the door, but before we could step inside, the stench of cat urine overpowered us. It was overwhelming, and we have to assume that everyone else smelled it, too.

My wife and I are torn about what to do. We have great respect for this couple. They are pillars of our community.

I say, to save future embarrassment, that an anonymous, carefully written note alerting them to this odor should be sent to them, saying that a problem "may" exist and providing them the opportunity to resolve the smell. My wife says absolutely not. Your thoughts? -- FELINE BLUES IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR FELINE BLUES: If you lack the courage to sign your name, do not send the letter. It isn't unheard of that pet owners become so used to the odors in their homes that they no longer smell them. Either address the problem head on -- politely, of course -- or refuse further invitations and invite the couple out instead.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter was recently married. A close family member -- a cousin -- gave her and our son-in-law a check at the reception. The check bounced.

It's been more than a month since the check was returned to them, and I'm sure their bank charged them for the overdraft. I was waiting, hoping they would reach out to my daughter or me and send a replacement check.

Should I call my cousin directly? I feel deep down that he must not know this happened because he would have done something about it. -- BOUNCED CHECK IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR B.C.: If you "know" deep down that this may have escaped your cousin's notice, call him, let him know what happened and let him explain.