DEAR ABBY: My nephew, "Logan," is a sophomore in high school. He is a bright, awesome kid who is on the autism spectrum. He is very high-functioning, even on a higher level than Asperger's. But the social struggles/issues are still there. To this day, my sister refuses to tell Logan about his autism. She feels immense guilt and goes into panic mode every time I bring it up. She thinks he wouldn't be able to handle it.

The poor kid knows something is wrong but doesn't know what. Can I tell him? Or if it's morally wrong to tell him, can I tell him when he is 18? I am a nurse, and I strongly believe everyone should know everything about their conditions, mental as well as physical. But it's tough with my nephew because he is still a minor. -- CAN I TELL HIM?

DEAR CAN I TELL: Your sister may mean well, but keeping her son in the dark about why he is the way he is, is cruel. I agree that the boy should be told, but the person to persuade your sister to come clean would be your nephew's pediatrician, because it appears she has tuned you out on that subject. He should have been getting counseling and/or therapy to help him deal with his social issues.

If the conversation still hasn't happened by the time Logan turns 18, tell him then. He will probably be grateful to be able to put a label on what he's experiencing.

TO MY JEWISH READERS: Tonight at sundown the eight days of Hanukkah begin. Happy Hanukkah, everyone. May all of you enjoy a joyous festival of lights.

DEAR ABBY: I divorced last year after 14 years of marriage. We have a 10-year-old son together. While staying with his father on weekends, he has overheard his father and new girlfriend having sex. It has happened a couple of times, and each time my son comes home in tears. His father has promised to not let it happen again.

My son is now worried that I'm doing the same thing, and he is treating me like I am the child and he's the parent. He seems to think that people have sex only to have babies, and he is worried.

Do I need to get him some kind of counseling, or will this get better as he gets older and matures? I'm angry that his father didn't use his head before choosing his actions, and now I'm the one being punished for it. -- TOO MUCH FOR MY SON

DEAR TOO MUCH: If your son hasn't had "the talk" with you or his father, it should start immediately so he knows that having sex doesn't always mean the result will be babies. And while you're at it, tell your son that you are not planning to have any more children anytime soon, so he has no reason to worry about you.

DEAR ABBY: My so-called boyfriend asked me to marry him. The problem is, he's already married to a woman he married for financial reasons. He doesn't believe in divorce, so where does that leave me? Yes, I love him, but I feel hurt and my heart is heavy. He doesn't know that I know all of this, and if he did, he would probably be upset. What should I do? -- HURTING HEART

DEAR HURTING HEART: I know your heart is heavy. Any woman's heart would be if she found herself in your situation. If your boyfriend's wife knew what he was proposing, I'll bet SHE would believe in divorce.

Tell him to get lost, and run in the opposite direction! Whether it "upsets" him is irrelevant. The last thing you need is a cheater. He will never marry you because he's already married -- to his meal ticket.

DEAR ABBY: My so-called boyfriend asked me to marry him. The problem is, he's already married to a woman he married for financial reasons. He doesn't believe in divorce, so where does that leave me? Yes, I love him, but I feel hurt and my heart is heavy. He doesn't know that I know all of this, and if he did, he would probably be upset. What should I do? -- HURTING HEART

DEAR HURTING HEART: I know your heart is heavy. Any woman's heart would be if she found herself in your situation. If your boyfriend's wife knew what he was proposing, I'll bet SHE would believe in divorce.

Tell him to get lost, and run in the opposite direction! Whether it "upsets" him is irrelevant. The last thing you need is a cheater. He will never marry you because he's already married -- to his meal ticket.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing regarding my almost 13-year-old daughter. She's a sweet girl but lately has been involved in a lot of drama. Recently my husband and I saw what we believe to be two hickeys on her neck, one on each side. She has denied, denied, denied it, but we know what we know.

I'm worried because a few months ago she was called into her counselor's office for "roasting." She was asked to roast two specific girls, and the information got back to them and back to the counselor. Our daughter is not allowed to date, and although she has friends who started dating at 10 or 11, I don't allow her to go to their homes. I do allow them to come to our home instead.

I just need to know how to handle this situation before it gets out of control. I have tried talking calmly and patiently with her, but it doesn't work. She believes she knows it all and I know nothing. -- UNSURE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR UNSURE: Girls who mock others and say cruel things are less "nice" than you would like to believe. It's a form of bullying. You need to nip this in the bud. A way to handle your daughter's misbehavior would be to institute consequences for getting called to the counselor's office and/or lying to you and your husband. By consequences, I mean the removal of privileges -- cellphone, television, internet, or having friends over for a period of time.

Also, if your daughter is coming home with hickeys, she may have too much unsupervised time on her hands. So if you haven't already, involve her in supervised activities such as church youth groups, sports and special-interest clubs if her school offers them. If she's going to a friend's house, be sure an adult will be there.

Parenting is a full-time job. In time your daughter will mature and this, too, will pass. But for now she needs watching.

DEAR ABBY: I sent out save-the-date notices for my wedding in November. One couple has stopped talking to me and refuses to tell me why. Must I send them an invitation to my wedding? -- WEDDING BLUES

DEAR WEDDING BLUES: According to Emily Post, the rules of etiquette dictate that "everyone who receives a save-the-date card must receive an invitation." (The italics are Emily's.) However, because the couple has stopped speaking to you, do not be surprised if you hear nothing from them.

DEAR ABBY: I sent out save-the-date notices for my wedding in November. One couple has stopped talking to me and refuses to tell me why. Must I send them an invitation to my wedding? -- WEDDING BLUES

DEAR WEDDING BLUES: According to Emily Post, the rules of etiquette dictate that "everyone who receives a save-the-date card must receive an invitation." (The italics are Emily's.) However, because the couple has stopped speaking to you, do not be surprised if you hear nothing from them.