DEAR ABBY: I divorced last year after 14 years of marriage. We have a 10-year-old son together. While staying with his father on weekends, he has overheard his father and new girlfriend having sex. It has happened a couple of times, and each time my son comes home in tears. His father has promised to not let it happen again.

My son is now worried that I'm doing the same thing, and he is treating me like I am the child and he's the parent. He seems to think that people have sex only to have babies, and he is worried.

Do I need to get him some kind of counseling, or will this get better as he gets older and matures? I'm angry that his father didn't use his head before choosing his actions, and now I'm the one being punished for it. -- TOO MUCH FOR MY SON

DEAR TOO MUCH: If your son hasn't had "the talk" with you or his father, it should start immediately so he knows that having sex doesn't always mean the result will be babies. And while you're at it, tell your son that you are not planning to have any more children anytime soon, so he has no reason to worry about you.

DEAR ABBY: I volunteer at a local hospital. We were told in training not to come to work if we were sick. One volunteer I work with didn't heed what he was told and showed up last week sneezing and coughing. When I asked if he wanted to go home, he declined. Although I cleaned his workstation with an antiseptic, a few days later I came down with the worst cold I have had in years.

I take care not to do anything to jeopardize my good health, but I had no control over this situation. I think it is extremely thoughtless of sick people to expose co-workers to their germs. Please, people, stay home when you are sick! -- STILL RECOVERING IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR STILL RECOVERING: I hear you loud and clear, and I agree. Your co-worker should be ashamed of himself. If he infected you, I can only wonder how many of the patients were put at risk or infected. As soon as you saw your co-worker had come to work sick, you should have informed your supervisor. If you had, it might have saved you some misery.

DEAR ABBY: My so-called boyfriend asked me to marry him. The problem is, he's already married to a woman he married for financial reasons. He doesn't believe in divorce, so where does that leave me? Yes, I love him, but I feel hurt and my heart is heavy. He doesn't know that I know all of this, and if he did, he would probably be upset. What should I do? -- HURTING HEART

DEAR HURTING HEART: I know your heart is heavy. Any woman's heart would be if she found herself in your situation. If your boyfriend's wife knew what he was proposing, I'll bet SHE would believe in divorce.

Tell him to get lost, and run in the opposite direction! Whether it "upsets" him is irrelevant. The last thing you need is a cheater. He will never marry you because he's already married -- to his meal ticket.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing regarding my almost 13-year-old daughter. She's a sweet girl but lately has been involved in a lot of drama. Recently my husband and I saw what we believe to be two hickeys on her neck, one on each side. She has denied, denied, denied it, but we know what we know.

I'm worried because a few months ago she was called into her counselor's office for "roasting." She was asked to roast two specific girls, and the information got back to them and back to the counselor. Our daughter is not allowed to date, and although she has friends who started dating at 10 or 11, I don't allow her to go to their homes. I do allow them to come to our home instead.

I just need to know how to handle this situation before it gets out of control. I have tried talking calmly and patiently with her, but it doesn't work. She believes she knows it all and I know nothing. -- UNSURE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR UNSURE: Girls who mock others and say cruel things are less "nice" than you would like to believe. It's a form of bullying. You need to nip this in the bud. A way to handle your daughter's misbehavior would be to institute consequences for getting called to the counselor's office and/or lying to you and your husband. By consequences, I mean the removal of privileges -- cellphone, television, internet, or having friends over for a period of time.

Also, if your daughter is coming home with hickeys, she may have too much unsupervised time on her hands. So if you haven't already, involve her in supervised activities such as church youth groups, sports and special-interest clubs if her school offers them. If she's going to a friend's house, be sure an adult will be there.

Parenting is a full-time job. In time your daughter will mature and this, too, will pass. But for now she needs watching.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend -- who is 19 -- was concerned that she might be pregnant because her period was late. She told me that she and her husband (yes, she's married) have been having unprotected sex. Lo and behold, she took multiple tests and she is pregnant.

I know they are not ready to have a baby, even though she says she's excited. They are currently living in a hotel, and she doesn't have a job. Her husband's mom doesn't even know they're married. I feel bad, but it makes me not want to be her friend anymore because of the choices she's made and where she has ended up. Any advice? -- DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

DEAR DON'T KNOW: Yes. If you prefer not to be part of her drama -- and it doesn't take a crystal ball to see that there is likely to be plenty -- back off. And tell her honestly that you are not equipped to handle her problems right now.

DEAR ABBY: I sent out save-the-date notices for my wedding in November. One couple has stopped talking to me and refuses to tell me why. Must I send them an invitation to my wedding? -- WEDDING BLUES

DEAR WEDDING BLUES: According to Emily Post, the rules of etiquette dictate that "everyone who receives a save-the-date card must receive an invitation." (The italics are Emily's.) However, because the couple has stopped speaking to you, do not be surprised if you hear nothing from them.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 46-year-old woman with PTSD due to a history of physical abuse, mental abuse and incest that I experienced as a child. I'm proud to say that it has not been repeated with my four children.

My childhood history has made me want sex only if I am in control or if I am role-playing rape. It has caused a big problem with my fiance. I want this scenario all the time, and unfortunately it's unhealthy. I'm not sure how to go about healthy sex with him. He is 10 years older than I am and not interested in "different" sex practices.

I love him very much and don't want to mess up this relationship because of my sex issues. Can you advise me how to handle this? -- ROLE-PLAYING IN ST. PAUL

DEAR ROLE-PLAYING: If you haven't discussed the reason for your sexual issues with your fiance, you need to explain the reason for them. From your letter, I am guessing that you never had counseling to help you resolve the abuse to which you were subjected. If that's correct, I am advising you to contact RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network; rainn.org) or a local rape crisis organization and ask for some help now. The counselors are specially trained to help victims of various kinds of abuse, and the place to start resolving your issues would be there.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a woman in my 30s. My father has been in prison since I was a tot. I was raised by my mother who, in my opinion, did a great job. My relationship with my father has been damaged for as long as I can remember. He will never get out, and part of me is angry at him for making such poor life choices.

When I was a teenager he struck me once during a visit. He is also manipulative and sometimes does hurtful things. For example, a few years ago he wrote me letters to which I never responded. When I finally got around to writing him back, he mailed my letters back to me (unopened) and said I deserved to see how it felt to have letters go unanswered.

He has said he's convinced he will die within five years because he's nearing the ages when his parents died. I think there's something wrong with him, and I'm afraid that after he passes on I'll feel like I didn't make enough of an effort. How do I proceed with my relationship with my father? -- CAUTIOUS IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CAUTIOUS: Your father made terrible life choices, and he's spending the rest of his life paying for them. I don't blame you for feeling anger at his inability to parent you. However, before advising you to write him off, I would need to know why he lashed out at you during your prison visit, even though hitting is unacceptable.

When people are incarcerated, their ability to reach out is severely limited, as I am sure you know all too well. I don't think the way your father handled your ignoring his letters was bad or wrong. If his silence stung you, imagine how yours affected him.

Whether or not your father is dying is beside the point. I think on some level you know you have to treat him with more compassion than you have, or you wouldn't have written to me. I don't know anyone who hasn't made mistakes. Your father made a doozy. But you say your mother raised you right, and if that's true it couldn't hurt to treat him with some compassion.