DEAR ABBY: My dad started an affair with a woman who is four years older than I am. He met her when he hired her for her "services." Fast-forward a year: He has left my mom. Mom left the state and has moved in with me. She's trying to rebuild her life, but she's still very much in love with my dad.

Dad, on the other hand, is miserable. His girlfriend is controlling to the point that he's not allowed to talk to his children or grandchildren. She's an alcoholic who mentally, verbally and physically abuses him. He recently left her and came to stay at my house. He told Mom and me that he wanted a fresh start.

Abby, he was here for less than 48 hours and went back to the girlfriend! I am convinced that he either has a drug problem or he's sick. He has lost an extreme amount of weight. I have no idea how to help him and I'm terrified that he is going to die.

Now he won't talk to me. He left while I was at work so he wouldn't have to face me. I don't understand why he would come here only to turn right around and leave. I am disgusted, disappointed and angry. Should I cut all ties with him until he gets his life together? -- DISAPPOINTED DAUGHTER

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Considering what has been going on, your feelings are natural. However, because you are unsure about what is driving your father -- addiction, illness, indecision, etc. -- do not "cut all ties." Leave the door ajar a little longer. There's a saying, "It ain't over 'til it's over." Victims sometimes need several attempts to leave their abusers, and your dad may be no exception.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a wonderful girl for about seven months. We're sophomores in college. She's sweet, kind, extraordinarily talented, and we treat each other wonderfully. Everything has been great, with the occasional disagreement.

The problem is that I'm starting to notice that she seems to be homophobic. I was raised in a liberal, open-minded home, whereas hers was much more conservative. She never met a homosexual until college. She has talked about feeling uncomfortable with two men kissing or talking about being intimate.

At first, I thought she'd be equally uncomfortable with straight couples doing the same thing, but she wasn't. When I tell her that I support marriage equality and the LGBTQ community, she gets very quiet and uneasy.

I care for her, but I don't know if I can be with someone who's this uncomfortable about homosexuality. What do you think I should do? This is a very important issue to me, and I would love your insight. -- TORN COLLEGE SOPHOMORE

DEAR TORN: She may be a wonderful girl, but whether you are wonderful for each other is open to question. Try to project ahead. If the two of you were to marry and she was unable to overcome her aversion to gay people, to what extent would it limit your ability to interact with them? Or their ability to have a relationship with you?

Let this play out a little longer to see if she's able to evolve with more exposure. If she's not, then she may not be the one for you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 57-year-old male who has been thrust back into the dating scene. I'm financially secure, in good health and have a good career. I'm searching for someone near my age who has similar achievements in life, someone I can communicate with in and out of the bedroom. Simple request, right?

What I'm realizing is that dating hasn't changed much over the years. If one of the parties isn't happy and decides to leave, someone gets hurt. (I have been on both sides.) I am starting to fear expressing my feelings openly and honestly, and if it eventually does come to sex, it's creating performance anxiety. I understand this is all part of the dating ritual and called "baggage," but for me, it's preventing me from being honest, and I'm trying to avoid it.

I see a female therapist who says I just haven't met the right person yet, and I agree. I have a female friend in a similar situation who has become so bitter she now avoids men completely. My male friends tell me to quit looking for a long-term commitment and just date for sex. Neither of these options appeals to me.

My age-old question is: How does a person find a happy balance in this dating world? -- DATING SCENE IN ARIZONA

DEAR DATING SCENE: "Dating" means different things to different people. To your male friends -- as you have found out -- it means a sexual free-for-all. For others, dating is a sifting process that lasts until they meet someone they're comfortable enough with to communicate honestly.

In any successful relationship, communication is key. That's why it's important to be honest with the women you meet, and for them to be the same way with you. That's how people get to know each other beyond the surface, and it's how trust is built. Chemistry is important, but it has to be mutual. You will know it when you find it. Listen to what your therapist is saying because she's steering you in the right direction.

DEAR ABBY: My son's girlfriend of five years and her 8-year-old daughter have been living with my son for the last four years. She has recently started introducing my husband and me as her daughter's "grandparents." Tonight she asked for details about my father so her daughter could include them in a paper she is writing about her "family." The daughter's father and his current wife had twins recently, and I understand from her mother that she is somewhat jealous.

I feel uncomfortable with this new description of our relationship, although I don't want to hurt the girl. Should I say something to my son's girlfriend or my son? -- FAMILY DETAILS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FAMILY DETAILS: The word from here is: Keep your lips zipped! If you object, it will cause only hard feelings. You say your son and his girlfriend have been living together for four years. If they should have a child together, do you plan to treat that child differently? Face it, you ARE in the role of a grandparent. My advice is to accept it graciously and act accordingly.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 57 and have been married for 25 years. My husband has retired and is ready for me to do the same. I enjoy my work, and I am delaying my retirement because he wants to move to another state.

Abby, all I can think about is how I will be forced to start all over with a new church, new doctors, new friends, etc. That's incredibly stressful for me, and I don't want to do it. It takes me a while to warm up to people, and I don't do it easily. To me, it would not be an exciting adventure.

I have told him I don't want to do this and why. He responds that if I want to visit my friends I can always "hop on a plane." He said he's tired of the cold and wants to move. All I can think about is having to sell our home, buy another one, learn a new area, make friends, find a new church. I have all of that here. Maybe he should be a snowbird? -- DON'T WANT TO START ANEW

DEAR DON'T WANT: If you and your husband can afford two places, perhaps you should both be snowbirds. It couldn't hurt to rent a place for a few months to see what life would be like in a new community. That's what I recommend to readers who contemplate making a drastic change -- such as relocation -- in their lives. If you do that, you might find that the "natives" are friendly and the community is congenial. However, if that's not the case, it could help you to avoid making a costly mistake.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter has been divorced less than a year and is dating again. (She's the one who left the marriage.) However, she keeps many pictures of her ex-husband on her Facebook page. She says he was a big part of her life, and she refuses to take them down. She thinks if a guy can't accept it, then he isn't the right guy. Do you agree that she's sending the wrong message? -- TAKE THE PHOTOS DOWN

DEAR TAKE: Personally, I do. A picture is worth a thousand words, and what it shows those who see hers is that she hasn't emotionally let go of her ex-husband. However, if men date her after looking at her Facebook page and seeing his pictures posted there, it's working for her, and I can't offer a criticism. Because you can't stop her, I suggest you accept it.

DEAR ABBY: It's that time of year when you print your gift ideas for seniors column. When my dad was alive, he, like many others, was on a fixed income. Among his pleasures was watching ballgames and keeping up with current events. So I contacted his cable company and arranged to pay his cable bill for a period of time as a gift. This can be arranged for any increment of time to match the gifter's budget -- from one month to a year. It allowed Dad to enjoy his TV and have some extra spending money that would otherwise have gone to paying the cable bill. -- ROSEMARY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ROSEMARY: You are a good daughter. Thanks for sharing your idea. It's a thoughtful one, and I'm sure my readers will thank you for the suggestion.