DEAR ABBY: I'm a 50-something single man living with my elderly mother. My father passed away a while ago, and the only members of my family left are me, my mom and my older sister, who has a 27-year-old son, "Jeff." They do not live with us.

My sister has been divorced for 10 years. Jeff and his parents never had a scheduled dinnertime, and they never ate together. Jeff's meals consisted of whatever he wanted, eaten in his bedroom.

Once a week, my mother makes a nice dinner and invites my sister and nephew over. The problem is, Jeff was never taught proper table manners. He eats like a caveman, slurps his food and holds the utensils like a 2-year-old. It's embarrassing. When I mention this to my mother, she gets on my case about "criticizing" him. She sees the problem, but doesn't want to say anything for fear of offending him. His mother sees it, too, but does nothing.

Jeff has no girlfriend or significant other at the moment, but if he were to go to any "nice" restaurant, he'd end up looking idiotic. It has reached the point that I can no longer look at him while we are at the table because it ruins my appetite. How can someone tactfully teach this kid how to eat and conduct himself properly? -- CAVEMAN'S UNCLE

DEAR UNCLE: This is a sad situation, considering how many social occasions revolve around food. If no one ever took the time during the last 27 years to explain basic table etiquette to Jeff, you can't blame your nephew for his atrocious manners.

You should speak to him about this -- but privately -- and ask if he would like you to give him some pointers. However, if he refuses, you might be happier eating elsewhere when your mother invites Jeff and his mom for dinner.

DEAR ABBY: Recently, my wife and I went dancing with my friend "Dick" and his wife. While I was in the middle of a conversation with Dick, my wife kept trying to interrupt. She even laid her hand on my arm to try to get my attention. I ignored her and told her later she had been rude to try to interrupt my conversation. She thinks I disrespected her and our marriage by putting conversation with my friend above her. This happens often when the four of us are together.

Am I being insensitive to my wife's feelings? We frequently disagree, but we have been married 44 years. Your input would be appreciated. -- ALWAYS A LOVING HUSBAND

DEAR LOVING HUSBAND: It is generally considered rude to interrupt someone when he or she is talking. The next time your wife does it, stop and ask her what's so important. (Could it be that the band is playing your song?)

However, if you have been droning on with your buddy for a long time, she may simply be craving some attention. If that's the case, perhaps it would be better if you saw Dick on a one-to-one basis without the wives around. That way you won't be interrupted.

DEAR ABBY: My husband drinks a lot. When he does, his personality changes to the point that I don't want to be around him. He's aware of this, but he continues to drink.

Recently I caught him sneaking alcohol, so I hid the bottle. When he realized what I had done, he retaliated by letting our cat out after dark, which we don't do because of the coyotes in our area. (We recently lost a cat to them after dark.) After he did it, "Joe" nonchalantly let me know the cat was outside. He didn't say why he did it, but I figured it out.

I know he's an alcoholic, but isn't this evil? It feels evil. Or is it the stunted, vindictive mind of an alcoholic? -- LET THE CAT OUT

DEAR LET THE CAT OUT: Whether your husband's mind is stunted, I can't say. But what he did was, indeed, vindictive. It was also cruel. As your letter shows, alcoholism is a disease that affects not only the alcoholic, but also the people who are close to them.

Whether you can continue living this way is for you to decide, but before making up your mind, you would be wise to visit some Al-Anon meetings. To find one near you, visit al-anon.alateen.org or call 1-888-4-ALANON. Please don't wait.

DEAR ABBY: I've been involved with a younger man for 15 years. "Grant" and I were great friends, but always kept things casual -- bars, hotels, sports events. We agreed we would discuss it if we wanted to date other people and allowed each other the freedom to do so over the years, but we would always come back together.

This year on my birthday I was shocked to find out through social media that Grant has been in a relationship with another woman the whole time I have known him. In fact, he married her and had a baby with her! He has been lying to me since the day we met.

I feel terrible not only for myself, but also for Grant's wife. I consider him a scumbag at this point. My gut reaction was to contact his wife and spill the beans. But after I cooled down, I'm not sure if it makes sense to ruin three more lives. I just feel he should be responsible for his actions and shouldn't get away with it. What would you do in this situation? -- BURNT TO A CRISP

DEAR BURNT: Honestly? I'd move on.

DEAR ABBY: I work in a large medical facility that relies on nurses to attend every shift they are assigned. Last Christmas a nurse I know called in saying her father had died. The thing is, I have known her for years, and her father has been dead as long as I have known her. Would it be snitching to tell my supervisor what I know? -- SHORTHANDED IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR SHORTHANDED: Yes, it would. But it wouldn't be snitching to inform the nurse that lying to get out of work is not only unfair to the rest of you, but also unprofessional.

DEAR ABBY: My mother has a tight circle of friends she socializes with often. They are all retired with grown children and grandchildren and eager to share every bit of news of their lives. Mom talks nonstop about her friends' children's parenting challenges, marital squabbles and medical issues. The challenge for me is that anything I tell her becomes fodder for their cocktail-hour discussion, which then gets around our community.

After hearing that the daughter of one of my mom's neighbors knew the results of my breast biopsy, I stopped sharing anything personal. This has damaged our relationship. She doesn't think mothers and daughters should keep secrets from each other, and I agree, but she also said she won't keep secrets from her friends.

I miss being able to turn to her for support, but do not want the world to know my business. I understand that her friends are like family to her, but they are not my family, and I think she has chosen gossip over our relationship. Is keeping her at arm's length my only choice here, or is there another path that I can't see? -- NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS

DEAR NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS: Your mother's judgment is terrible. Her friends may be "like family" to her, but they are not family. If you prefer not to have your personal business be fodder for lunchtime conversation, then your only choice is to carefully edit what you tell her.

DEAR ABBY: I have an issue with my daughter marrying a man who has no job. She has been supporting him financially. He has had a few jobs, but he gets fired or quits within a few weeks or months.

My daughter is 30 and never married. She's an assistant professor at a good university and a leader in her field of education. Her intended has no career and no prospects. He asked her to marry him without consulting me. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I would have expressed my concern about his lack of career.

I can't alienate my daughter by saying the wrong thing. But what if she can't work someday and he can't support a household? He has a million excuses. I don't think he's the man she thinks he is. My life lessons tell me he may never be the man she thinks he could be. I have come to the conclusion that marrying him would bring her only misery. What should I do? -- VERY WORRIED DAD

DEAR VERY WORRIED DAD: It would not be wrong if, without putting her fiance down, you expressed to your daughter your concern about his employment record (or lack of one) and the impact it may have on their future. And when you do, raise the question of what she thinks might happen if for some reason she becomes unable to work, because it's a good one, and something she should carefully consider before tying the knot.

After that, accept that at 30, your daughter is an adult who has the right to go forward with the marriage if she chooses, and keep your fingers crossed.