DEAR ABBY: I am a new bride in my mid-20s. I'm writing about my dad.

At the wedding dinner, he read a list of reasons he "let" me get married. Granted, he thought it was funny, and he always needs to be the center of attention. But during our honeymoon abroad, he sent me messages at every juncture and each hotel.

Maybe he's having a hard time "letting go," but is this normal? Frankly, I found it creepy. My honeymoon was my and my new hubby's time to enjoy, and so much intrusion felt like stalking. I am not particularly close to Dad. Am I overreacting? -- NEWLYWED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NEWLYWED: You stated that your father likes to be the center of attention. Your wedding dinner may have been yet another example of it.

A lot of humor is based on truth, and Dear Old Dad's thinking may be rooted in the 19th century or earlier, when women needed their father's permission to marry. That he would insert himself into your honeymoon does seem over the top for someone with whom you are not particularly close. If he persists, you and your husband should have a talk with him and tell him it's making the both of you uncomfortable and ask him to please stop.

DEAR ABBY: Many businesses these days outsource their customer service departments to phone centers in other countries where the person answering the phone speaks very little English or has a weak comprehension of the English language. Please don't get me wrong, they are polite, patient and try hard to be helpful, but many times it is difficult to get a question answered or an issue successfully dealt with because the person doesn't understand what you are saying or you are having trouble understanding.

Often I have spent much of my call asking the person to repeat him or herself, or repeating myself to them. Is there a polite way of saying, "Hey, get me someone who speaks English"? I have never said that, but I'm often tempted. Usually the call ends in frustration with unresolved issues. I don't want to be rude or hurt someone's feelings, but what do you do when business needs to be conducted? -- BONNIE IN MONTANA

DEAR BONNIE: If you call customer service and have trouble understanding the person you are speaking with or feel you are not being properly understood, either ask to talk to a supervisor or with someone whose first language is English. To do that isn't rude; it allows for the most productive use of your time as well as the person at the other end of the phone.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 22-year-old plus-sized female who is having trouble feeling beautiful. I have tried makeup, different outfits -- nothing seems to work. My boyfriend keeps telling me I'm beautiful, but it is not easy for me to see. What do you think I should do? -- SHATTERED MIRROR IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SHATTERED: There's a saying that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. If your boyfriend keeps telling you that you are beautiful, then in HIS eyes you are. Because when you look in a mirror you only find fault with yourself, it appears that you don't like yourself much. Discuss this with a licensed psychotherapist to get to the bottom of it and learn to appreciate the beauty your boyfriend sees.

DEAR ABBY: I'm engaged to a wonderful man I have been with for five years. We plan to get married as soon as his house sells and we can move into another home as a family. He has three children; I have four. Our kids get along well enough, and no serious parenting issues have come up yet.

My concern is, he and his ex-wife haven't immunized their kids. I have. All four of my children are up to date with their shots. We have agreed to disagree on this subject.

With the kids living together under the same roof, is there anything I should worry about as far as kids getting sick? I have read somewhere that it isn't good to have kids who are immunized around those who aren't. Truth? -- WANTS THE FACTS IN INDIANA

DEAR WANTS THE FACTS: Have you discussed this with their doctors? If you go online and visit vaccines.gov, you will find a complete explanation of why vaccinations are so important and why parents should ensure that their children receive the optimum dose, which may involve two or more shots.

According to the Food and Drug Administration: "For reasons related to the individual, not all vaccinated persons develop immunity. Most routine childhood vaccines are effective for 85 to 95 percent of recipients." If your children happen to fall into the unfortunate 5 to 15 percent category of recipients who haven't developed full immunity, then you should be concerned.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is a wonderful lady, but I'm having a hard time with how she is around my children. She is extremely obsessive over giving them baths, changing their diapers and, basically, just seeing them naked.

I have talked with my husband about it because I don't think it's appropriate. I want to discuss this with her, but he thinks it's no big deal because this is "just the way she is." How can I convey the seriousness of this issue? Or am I overreacting? -- JUST THE WAY SHE IS

DEAR JUST: I don't know your mother-in-law, so I can't judge her motivations. She was a mother before she became a grandmother, and it may be perfectly innocent. However, if something is going on that makes you uneasy, you must remember that, as your children's mother, you have a responsibility to put a stop to anything you do not feel is appropriate.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has a brother, "Tom," who is 10 years younger. He recently returned from college and is living with my in-laws. Tom has visited us a few times since his arrival. When he comes over, he doesn't bother to ring the doorbell or knock; he simply lets himself in.

I don't appreciate the lack of privacy in my own home. People should at least knock or yell hello from the doorway before barging in. When I told my husband it bothered me, he got upset and defensive and accused me of "picking on" his family. Am I making too much of this? -- DING DONG IN TEXAS

DEAR DING DONG: No, you're not. You didn't mention how long you and your husband have been married, but your home is not a bachelor pad that people drift in and out of. You are entitled to some privacy, and time to cover up if you are in a state of undress. That people ring the bell, knock on the door or yell to announce their presence is not too much to ask. In fact, it's considered good manners.

P.S. Keeping the door locked could help solve the problem.

DEAR ABBY: With the holiday shopping season already here, may I suggest another way to look at gift giving? We all want to give the perfect gift to family members. Some gifts can cost a lot of money and some not. I would like people to take a step back and consider who they are buying for.

I stopped buying gifts for my parents and sister 10 years ago. Because their money is tight, I have been stocking their pantries with food and staples. I am well off enough financially that I have been able to fill their freezers with enough meat to last three months or more.

At Thanksgiving, my husband and I load up our car and bring the meat with us. Then my mom, sister, grandma and I go to the grocery store and buy staples for the pantry and what we need to make freezer meals. Abby, this takes so much pressure off them.

Food is expensive. So instead of buying Dad that new TV or sound system, or your sister that designer handbag, pause and take a hard look at their situation. Sometimes the need for basics outweighs the desire for the latest and greatest gadgets. Even paying a bill or two can help. Or gift cards for groceries.

I never expect presents from my family; all I want is for them to have some freedom in their lives from the daily worries. -- NEW WAY OF GIFTING

DEAR NEW WAY: I'm pleased to share your letter with readers who may be wondering what to give their relatives at Christmas. And I'm sure that your generosity is deeply appreciated by your family. Thank you for writing.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been dining out with another couple about twice a month. We have not been able to entertain them at our home because it is not easily accessible and the man is in a wheelchair. Over the past several months his health has declined. His mind is sharp, but his body is weakening.

The last time we met them for dinner, we couldn't understand what he was saying, so his wife "interpreted." Also, when he tries to eat, the food falls out of his mouth onto a bib and from there to the floor.

Abby, we just don't know what to do. We really like this couple, but it is nauseating to watch him eat with food falling out of his mouth. Plus, the other patrons at the restaurants are starting to stare. We look forward to your advice. -- PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO STARE

DEAR PEOPLE: If this couple ever needed understanding friends, it's now. Because you are embarrassed to be seen with them in a restaurant, consider bringing a take-out meal to their home. Granted, watching your friend struggle is painful. But if he's going downhill as rapidly as you say, he needs your support more than ever, and so does his wife. And when he's gone, you'll know you did the right thing.