DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Ian" for seven months. We met at work, and my friends convinced me to go out with him. I thought he was a nice guy, just shy. Now that we've been dating, I realize that's not the case.
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Ian plays video games A LOT. They consume his life. He gets so aggravated that he slams buttons and curses incessantly. My nerves can't handle hearing it. I have anxiety issues, and when he does it, I nearly have a panic attack. When I tell him it's just a game, he won't listen.
He is also critical of me. It's mostly about my weight, but he also tells me I'm horrible and stupid. He complains about the way I play video games, my cooking, etc. Sometimes he loses his temper and snaps at me. He has slapped me a few times.
He's never intimate with me, but I know he's straight because he watches porn when he thinks I'm asleep. We pretty much lead separate lives, but he talks about us getting our own place. We no longer work at the same company. I have a part-time job and go to school full time, but he won't even look for a job.
Part of me wants to end it. But this is my first real relationship, and I'm not sure if I can do any better. Help! -- CONFLICTED IN VIRGINIA
DEAR CONFLICTED: End it NOW! You are looking at this the wrong way. From where I sit, it would be practically impossible for you to have a worse relationship than this one. Ian is immature, emotionally and physically abusive and unemployed. Men who care about women don't treat them the way he treats you.
Ian should not move anywhere with you. If he does, you will have a heck of a time getting this freeloader out. Not only that, you won't be able to find anyone else because it will appear that you're already "involved."