DEAR ABBY: I'm about to get custody of my daughter after four years, so I'm a little out of the parenting etiquette loop. A friend of mine has a daughter, "Autumn," who is an absolute terror and a bully. The girl has been rude to my daughter during the times she has visited.

I know I won't be able to avoid social functions because Autumn's family is always invited to a mutual friend's events. My daughter wants nothing to do with her, and I don't know how to easily avoid play dates. Please advise. -- PERPLEXED IN THE WEST

DEAR PERPLEXED: Talk to Autumn's parents about her behavior, so it can be corrected. If you are worried about your daughter having to interact with the girl, suggest that she socialize with the other children at the event and stay out of Autumn's way. If the girl acts out against your daughter, tell your child she is welcome to come and spend some time with you. While you can't completely insulate her from unpleasant peers, this may lessen the pain.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in high school, and I'm having some problems with my friend "Dave." I'm in every one of his classes, and he keeps coming to me and asking if I want to work with him. I need to say no, but I don't know how. It would be nice to work with other friends, but how do I tell that to Dave? -- CONNECTICUT SOPHOMORE

DEAR SOPHOMORE: Be frank with your friend. All you have to say is: "Dave, I like working with you -- but I also want to work with other people. If we both work with some of the others, it will keep us sharper." And if he indicates that he's taking it as a personal rejection, tell him it isn't true -- that you like him, but think it's not smart for either of you to limit yourselves. (It's the truth.)

DEAR ABBY: I could use some advice about family roles. Mine always seems to be the peacekeeper and mediator. Without going into too much detail, my family has some issues, and they usually volunteer me to fix the problem. It's extremely stressful, and I feel guilty when I don't succeed.

I am a travel nurse, and I accepted an assignment across the country to try to step back from it. Some of the drama follows me here, but it's nothing like when I was home. My guilt continues because I feel like my duty is to be with my family, especially my sister, who is emotionally co-dependent on me. Any advice to help divide the roles? -- OVERWHELMED IN PHOENIX

DEAR OVERWHELMED: Please stop feeling like you did something wrong in taking that assignment. You made the right choice. By doing it, you have gifted your family with the opportunity to learn to deal with its issues without relying exclusively on you. By now it should have dawned on you that you cannot fix your sister's co-dependency problem. Only she can do that, if she's willing to recognize that she has a problem and accept that a licensed psychotherapist -- and not her sister -- can provide her with the tools to overcome it.

DEAR ABBY: Election Day is just over a month away. As it approaches, many people have questions about voting that could keep them away from the polls this November.

USAGov can help. We're the federal program that connects Americans to government information and services. Responding to questions from people across the country, we created an online guide to voting and elections at USA.gov/voting.

Our goal is to equip everyone with the basic information they need to register and get their vote counted. The information is free, easy to understand and nonpartisan.

There, readers can begin the registration process for their state or contact their local election office to update their voter information, learn what form of identification may be needed and the location of their polling place. We also provide information on how to vote early or absentee -- which is helpful for those who can't get out to vote, or who serve overseas in the military. Learn about sample ballots, tips for researching candidates, accessibility laws for voters with disabilities and much more.

Abby, thank you for sharing USA.gov/voting with your readers, and for your long partnership in connecting them with information from their government to make their lives a little less complicated. -- NANCY TYLER, SENIOR EDITOR, USA.GOV

DEAR NANCY: You are welcome. Readers, in the 2012 presidential election, less than half (42 percent) of Americans who were eligible to vote did so. A person who has the right to vote and doesn't is no better off than the millions of people in this world who do not have that privilege. We are fortunate to live in a country where citizens are allowed to cast a ballot. The direction our country takes domestically and internationally is to a great extent determined by the citizens who exercise that right.

Regular, absentee and early voting all have registration deadlines that vary state by state -- some as much as a month before Election Day, which is Nov. 8. So visit the voter registration section of USA.gov/voting, where you will find a button to begin the registration process.

DEAR ABBY: I work in an office where employee badges are issued and used to gain access to the building itself and to more sensitive areas. I know most of the people who work here and happily hold the door open for them, but there are also a lot of people I don't know -- some with badges indicating they work here, and others without identification.

I don't want to let in someone who does not belong here and risk our safety and security. Would it be better to ask for ID before holding doors? What about friendly visitors? -- BUILDING ACCESS IN BOISE

DEAR BOISE: Companies pay large sums of money to ensure their buildings are secure. If someone doesn't have an access card or a security badge, you should not hold the door open regardless of how friendly the person appears to be. To do otherwise circumvents the security and safety of the building and puts everyone -- including yourself -- at risk.

DEAR ABBY: My husband recently disclosed to me that he was sexually abused by his cousin, who was the same age, when he was in high school. She blackmailed him by threatening to tell everyone he had raped her. She used this power over him to coax sexual favors but never intercourse.

After a year of looking for help, he confided in his mother, but she ended up getting drunk and telling the whole family about the situation. Luckily, he was able to convince most of them it was "just the alcohol talking." At that point, his cousin finally found a boyfriend and stopped blackmailing him.

This all happened five years ago. He hasn't lived in the same state as his mom or the abuser in three years. I can tell that by confiding in me he feels much better, but I'm worried that he blames himself for his mother's alcoholism and his ruined relationships with his close friends in high school. I'm also not sure whether or not we can bring his abuser to justice. -- CONCERNED SPOUSE

DEAR CONCERNED SPOUSE: Encourage your husband to talk to a licensed psychotherapist about what was done to him. Victims sometimes blame themselves. I seriously doubt that his mother's alcohol abuse had anything to do with him. That she betrayed his confidence instead of helping him was terrible. A therapist can explain all this to him, and help him to see things clearly so he can decide how to proceed.

DEAR ABBY: I'm planning on getting married this year, but I have cold feet. One day I want to be married; the next day I don't. My fiancee is my best friend, and we have been dating for more than four years. Is there any way to get over wedding jitters and live life to the fullest? -- COLD FEET IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR COLD FEET: An intelligent way to work through your jitters would be to talk them through. Consider premarital counseling with your fiancee. A number of subjects will be raised during the sessions, including both of your feelings regarding handling money, having children (and raising them), and even the fact that such a big step gives you butterflies. Please let me know if this helps. I wish you and your fiancee a long and happy union.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old bisexual girl, and I have a big problem with relationships. They make me feel awkward. I don't like holding hands and the mushy-gushy stuff hurts my soul. I'm asking for help to come out to my parents and also what I should do about not liking relationships. Am I the only one like this? I told my friend once, and she was really confused. -- AWKWARD TEEN IN TEXAS

DEAR AWKWARD: I do not think you should come out to your family until you are sure of exactly who you are. From the tone of your letter, you appear to be still trying to figure that out -- which is completely normal for someone your age.

Please do not put any labels on yourself right now. Concentrate on school, friends, things you enjoy. Give it time, and I predict that in a year or two, when you are more clear about things, you will know what to do.