DEAR ABBY: One of my relatives has become incontinent. She leaks badly. Most of the time her pants are wet. When she comes to visit, she doesn't hesitate to sit on my furniture, and when she stands up, she causes a spot on my carpet!
I'm worried my house will start to smell. After she leaves I have to go around spraying and mopping. I'm sure she wears adult diapers because after she leaves we find them in our trash. They are soaked, so I think she probably needs to change more often.
How do I ask her nicely not to sit on my furniture? I would love to suggest having her get medical help, but am afraid she would be insulted and I don't know how to address it. I love her, but not her messes! -- GRITTING MY TEETH
DEAR GRITTING: According to the Centers for Disease Control, more than half of seniors are plagued by incontinence. It happens to both sexes, but bladder incontinence happens more often to women. Many seniors find it so embarrassing that they are afraid to discuss it with their doctors.
Because your relative's incontinence is causing you a problem, you must discuss it with her. Say you love her, and encourage her to talk to her doctor by explaining that this is a common problem. A solution might be to buy a plastic slipcover for her favorite chair or have her sit in one that will cause you less of a problem.