life

Fear Lingers After Lunchtime Walker Is Attacked by Dog

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 22nd, 2016 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: For health reasons, I had been walking during my lunch break at work. That ended last summer when someone unleashed his dog between his house and his car. The dog saw me on the sidewalk, charged, jumped on me and bit me. Thankfully, I put my arm up, so it only got my arm, but now I'm terrified to walk outside for fear of being attacked again.

The bite was nothing compared to the trauma. I'm afraid the fear will be with me for the rest of my life. No one thinks their dog would hurt someone, but I learned the hard way it's not always true. I wish dog owners would be more responsible, not only for their sake, but also for their dog's and other people's. Do you have any thoughts? -- SHELL-SHOCKED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SHELL-SHOCKED: When the attack happened, you should have reported it to animal control and given them the address of the homeowner. If the dog's owner didn't volunteer to see you got help for your injury -- and that includes your emotional trauma -- you should discuss it with a lawyer. If that dog had been a large one, you could have been seriously injured.

Go online to the Humane Society's helpful section on this topic, www.nodogbites.org. As for my thoughts, I think you should resume your exercise routine whenever the weather permits.

Health & Safety
life

Daughter Hopes to Lure Mom Away From Small-Town Life

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 22nd, 2016 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My 62-year-old mother is living in a small town with little to offer her. She says the only reason she stays is because her job provides benefits and she's currently going through physical therapy.

Mom is single, has no potential prospects and no social life outside of church. Her friends are all married or have moved away. I feel like she's not living her life fully, and I wish she could find the courage to leave. How can I convince her to be OK with the unknown and move to the big city? -- CITY GAL IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR CITY GAL: Does your mother plan to be receiving physical therapy in perpetuity? If not, be patient. Wait until it is finished and find out whether her job offers vacation time. If it does, invite her to visit and show her what the big city has to offer.

If she can't get away, you may have to "entice" her by sending her videos of all the fun things she could be doing if she lived closer. I can't guarantee it will work because it's possible she's happy with her life the way it is. However, if she's not, it might be an effective way to whet her appetite.

Family & Parenting
life

How Young Is Too Young to Start Wearing Makeup?

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 22nd, 2016 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: At what age do you believe it is appropriate for a girl to start wearing makeup? I don't mean lipstick and huge amounts of eye shadow, but a bit of mascara and lip gloss? -- WONDERING IN THE SUBURBS

DEAR WONDERING: A touch of lip gloss when a girl is in the seventh grade is fine, but she should hold off on the mascara for another year or two.

Teens
life

Coaches Have an Obligation to Quiet Obnoxious Parents

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 21st, 2016 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I need some words of wisdom from you. This past weekend I went to see my 7-year-old nephew play baseball. These are all young kids just learning the game.

There was one young player whose father kept shouting horrible things at him like, "Catch like a MAN!" and, "I don't know why I waste my time coming here!" It was horrible to see that poor kid just wilt under his father's abuse.

Maybe I should have spoken up, but I was scared. Was there anything I could have said? What can be done under those circumstances? I worry there may be a lot more parents out there like this dad. Say something, Abby! We need your help. -- ASHAMED OF THAT DAD IN DECATUR

DEAR ASHAMED OF THAT DAD: Children who are encouraged usually do well at an activity. Those who are bullied, as that child was, do not. What you witnessed was someone trying to relive his own youth through his child. The person to address the belligerent parent should have been the coach of the team.

Family & ParentingAbuseEtiquette & Ethics
life

Texting Draws Grandma and Girls Closer Together

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 21st, 2016 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I just want to let you know you changed my life. I'm 68 years old with two grown girls and two grandchildren. My husband and I had the old-fashioned flip phones and were not "into" texting like our children and grandchildren.

Every few weeks, we'd get the obligatory phone call from one of the daughters, and I would feel a tinge resentful that both of our girls didn't call more. Along came your column about a grandma who was miffed because her family didn't call often and were more into texting. I was thinking, "You go, Grandma!" because I identified with her.

Your answer surprised me. You told Gram to get with the program and enter her kids' world. Well, that's what I did. I got a new cellphone with a keyboard for texting. (Smartphones are not practical where we live.)

Abby, texting has transformed my world! I'm closer than ever with the girls. We send pictures and little "thinking of you" notes. I can never thank you enough for your wise advice. If I hadn't read your response, my life would be the poorer for it. Bless you. -- BARB IN RODEO, N.M.

DEAR BARB: Your letter brightened my day. You're welcome! But kudos to you for taking it to heart. Technology is constantly evolving and becoming easier to use, and it's meant to help bring people closer. I'm glad it has done that for you.

Family & Parenting
life

Ex-Husband Keeps Household in Storage 20 Years After Divorce

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 21st, 2016 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: What does it say about my ex-husband who has been paying storage fees on household items ever since our separation and divorce over 20 years ago? -- BEVERLY IN NEVADA

DEAR BEVERLY: What it says to me is that your ex is unusually sentimental and/or can afford it.

P.S. And why, after all this time, would you care so much that you would write to me about it?

Marriage & Divorce
life

Girl Fears Mom's Disapproval of Boyfriend She Found Online

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 20th, 2016 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl, and I'm madly in love with my boyfriend. The only problem is, I can't tell anyone but my closest friends about him. I met him over the internet, and he's an amazing guy. I didn't think I'd ever fall in love with him, but I did. He lives in New York, and I'm planning on going up to see him as soon as I possibly can.

I really, really want to tell my mom, but I don't want to lose him. I know if I say too much about him, she'll find out. He's a better boyfriend than my last boyfriend, and he actually treats me like I'm something and not dirt. He truly saved me, but I know my mom won't see it that way. What do I do? -- IN LOVE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR IN LOVE: Start thinking with your head instead of your heart. There is no guarantee that everything the person -- as nice as he appears to be -- has told you online is true, including his name, his gender, his age, marital status or criminal record.

What you need to do is level with your mom about the fact that you have met someone on the internet you think is special, and ask her if you can invite him to visit YOU so you can get to know each other and she can check him out. You should NOT go to a different city to meet him because to do so could be very dangerous.

Love & DatingTeens
life

Working Different Shifts Leads to Trouble in Bed

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 20th, 2016 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are in our 50s and have been having marital difficulties lately. We work different shifts. By the time he gets home, I'm sound asleep.

He likes to wake me up in the middle of the night for sex. I told him it's not right because I have to work in the morning. He said he thought he saw in the Dear Abby column that if a husband wakes a wife for sex, she should accommodate him. I told him that was crazy. But I wanted to check with you. Help! -- WEARY IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR WEARY: He may have read that in some other advice column, but he didn't get permission from me. What I have written is that coercing or bullying someone into doing something of a sexual nature that he or she doesn't want to do is abuse.

Marriage & DivorceWork & SchoolSex & Gender
life

Employee in the Know Keeps Company's Demise a Secret

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 20th, 2016 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I work for a small company where I am privy to a lot of confidential information, and I know the owner is letting the business die. All of the experienced senior staff have quit because they recognized what's going on, but the new hires think this is normal. These are self-supporting young adults with college loans to pay off. One is a dad with a young child.

I feel so guilty looking for a job while everyone else is clueless about their future. Because it's part of my position to know how we are doing financially, I can't tell them they will be out of jobs soon. Or can I? -- KEEPING A SECRET

DEAR KEEPING: Much as you might wish to, I don't recommend that you spill the beans. If you reveal proprietary information to the other employees, and you signed a confidentiality agreement with your bosses at the time you were hired, as many employees do, you could be sued.

Work & SchoolEtiquette & Ethics

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