DEAR ABBY: I'm a 21-year-old college student. Recently, my cousin (also 21) moved in with my parents and me because her mom is verbally and mentally abusive. Lately, I'm having issues with her being here.

She constantly barges into my room, leaving me no time for myself. Most days she ends up napping in my bed instead of hers, leaving drool on my sheets. When she comes home from school, she drops all of her things in my room. My parents cleared out a room for her, yet most of her stuff is in mine.

She gets ready in my room instead of hers and talks on the phone with her boyfriend loudly while I'm studying or reading. She's constantly complaining about school, her boyfriend, work, etc. If I get invited somewhere, she tries to tag along.

I don't know what to do. I need time for myself. I can't bring these issues up to her because she's extremely sensitive and will see it as an attack. I don't know how much longer I can take it because she is stuck here until November. Please help. -- CALIFORNIA GIRL

DEAR CALIFORNIA GIRL: You need to talk to your parents about your cousin's lack of boundaries. Everyone needs personal time, and yours should be respected. Installing a lock on your bedroom door could guarantee that your cousin stays out in your absence.

However, because you are all adults -- even though your cousin appears to be emotionally stuck in adolescence -- some rules need to be established. If she would consider it an attack if they come from you, your parents should be the ones who deliver the message.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 13 and my problem is, when I look in the mirror, all I can see is ugliness. My mother has heard the way I talk about myself, and she doesn't like it one bit. But I can't seem to stop because all I hear is, "You're ugly or you're fat. Go on a diet!" Is there something wrong with me? Do I need help? If so, what type of help? -- WEST COAST TEEN

DEAR WEST COAST TEEN: Whether or not you are overweight is something your doctor should determine. As to your being "ugly," most young teenagers go through a period of transition. Your problem isn't your looks. It's the voice in your head. My advice to you would be to concentrate on developing the things you are good at -- sports, music, art, drama -- and let the rest take care of itself because it will.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 40-year-old man, divorced with teenage children, and have been exclusively dating a woman who has a 4-year-old daughter. There have been no clashes between our children.

We have yet to have sex. When I'm over at her place, I sleep on the living room floor either on an inflatable air mattress (her idea) or in a sleeping bag (my response when I just couldn't take the air mattress any longer). Either way, I feel like I'm left to sleep on a dog bed -- not great for my self-esteem, as you can imagine.

My girlfriend uses her daughter as the reason, suggesting that the girl just wouldn't understand me sleeping in Mommy's bed. I don't personally see it as being a big issue for her daughter, given how long we have been together. We have discussed the subject, and she makes reference to perhaps planning some sort of rendezvous, but it never seems to go from theory to practice.

There are no religious issues here. My girlfriend did have a promiscuous and troubled past as a young adult, so I'm sensitive to the issue. But this is driving me nuts. Any suggestions would be appreciated. -- ON HOLD IN NEW YORK

DEAR ON HOLD: People usually find the time to do the things they want to do. Your girlfriend may be holding out for marriage, not have a strong sex drive, or not be as attracted to you as you are to her.

You didn't mention how long you have been seeing this lady, but I think it's time you discussed your feelings with her again, find out exactly why your sexual relationship hasn't gone from theory to practice, and take your cue from there.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 37 and have been married for eight years. I love my husband, but I'm not "in love" with him. In my younger years I gave my heart to another woman.

Since then, I have masked my true feelings, but I can't do it anymore. I'm still in love with "Loretta," and I want to be with her. But now I have many responsibilities -- husband, kids, etc.

I have told my husband about my feelings, but he seems to think this is something I'll get over. I was 17 when Loretta and I started our relationship. We still love each other very much. I don't want to hurt him, so what do I do? -- FOLLOWING MY HEART IN ALABAMA

DEAR FOLLOWING: What you do is tell your husband that you thought you might be able to get over your love for Loretta, but that you haven't. Do not expect him to take the news lightly because he has good reason to be upset. But he needs to know that none of this is his fault.

If he has trouble accepting and understanding this, suggest he contact the Straight Spouse Network (straightspouse.org) for the support it offers to the heterosexual partners of LGBT individuals.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with my two younger sisters. Neither one can have children. I have three.

Recently, one of my sisters turned my sweetest daughter against me by telling her I had "abandoned her" when I moved to Ohio with my oldest son and divorced their father. Not true! I left my daughter with my sister so she could experience raising a teenager since she couldn't have a child of her own.

After telling my daughter I had abandoned her, my sister advised her to tell me she never wanted to talk to me again. My heart is broken. My daughter is very sweet and gullible. She has taken her aunt's side and says she wants nothing to do with me. This is driving me crazy. Please tell me what to do. -- HEARTBROKEN IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: If your daughter is a minor, demand that she return to you immediately. Do it through a lawyer, if necessary, because what your sister is doing is a form of parental alienation. If your daughter is an adult, then ask your other two children to talk to their sister and set her straight.

DEAR ABBY: When a couple is on an airplane in a section with three seats (window, middle, aisle) and a male stranger has the window seat, should the woman sit in the middle seat beside the male stranger, or in the aisle seat exposed to all passengers walking by? -- TRAVELER IN VANCOUVER, B.C.

DEAR TRAVELER: When someone makes an airline reservation, a particular seat is usually assigned and the airline expects the passenger to sit there unless the crew is notified and approves the change. There are many variables regarding why a person would want an aisle seat. Among them would be access to the bathroom, a person's size or a desire for more personal space. If sitting in the middle seat in close proximity to a man you don't know would bother you, mention it to one of the cabin crew and request a change, or just switch seats with your travel companion.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a retired man who took a community college class. My lab partner was a young woman who was having difficulties attending the class. She wasn't there for the final exam, and I wondered if she had dropped the course. I did not have her phone number or her email address, but she had mentioned she worked at a nearby bank, so I went to visit her there. We talked for a few minutes and she told me she had actually done quite well in the class.

When I told my wife and daughter about it, they were shocked. They said what I did was inappropriate because of the age difference and she could have gotten into trouble at her job. Abby, they almost accused me of stalking her.

I don't understand why they considered this inappropriate. Is there a social rule that makes my behavior incorrect? I find it hard to believe someone would get into trouble for talking to a person in the bank at any age. Gender should not be a concern. I would have done the same thing had she been a man my own age. -- AM I MISSING SOMETHING?

DEAR AM I: You appear to be a very nice person. What you are "missing" is the fact that your wife is insecure, and your daughter backed her mother up. You did nothing wrong.