DEAR ABBY: I have officially found my biggest pet peeve. It's a pervasive issue with my generation of committing to something and not showing up.

They'll flake at the last minute, or refuse to commit to something because there's a possibility something better will come along. And constantly showing up late has become normal with young adults. Furthermore, despite the many technological advances that allow us to communicate quickly, their failure to communicate about plans astounds and infuriates me.

I've encountered this problem too often with friends, co-workers, bosses and professors at university. I have tried to let it roll off my back and remind people about how their rudeness affects others, but I'm not sure what else I can do.

Obviously, I can't control other people. How can I express my frustration without being a monster? -- HAD IT UP TO HERE

DEAR HAD IT: I assume that you have already expressed your frustration to at least some of the people you have described. If this happens regularly, it's a sign that they don't care how their behavior affects others.

You can spare yourself much stress if you start "deleting" irresponsible, self-centered individuals from your circle to the extent that it's possible. Of course, you can't do that with those who have control over your life such as professors or employers right now, so you will have to tolerate some of this behavior for the present.

DEAR ABBY: My father, a widower, is in his late 80s. He's in great shape, still drives, goes on vacations and volunteers twice a week. He is brilliant, and enjoys cars, gambling and eating.

I promised I'd call him on a weekly basis, but I don't know what to talk to my father about. He's a man of few words, so our conversations are somewhat limited after I ask about his interests. I'd be very appreciative if you or your readers can suggest some topics I haven't thought of. -- STUMPED DAUGHTER

DEAR STUMPED DAUGHTER: How about talking to your father about some of your own interests -- what you have been doing, movies or plays you have seen, restaurants you have tried that he might enjoy, what's going on with other relatives, and current events. If necessary, make a short list of topics from your local newspaper and keep it with you when you call him. And remember, conversations don't have to be long ones -- just interesting.

DEAR READERS: Allow me to wish a Happy Father's Day to fathers everywhere -- birth fathers, stepfathers, adoptive and foster fathers, grandfathers, and all of those caring men who mentor children and fill the role of absent dads. I applaud you all! -- LOVE, ABBY

P.S. And per many readers' requests, I'm giving a shout-out to dual-role moms, too.

DEAR ABBY: I have plans to go to law school in the next two years. I have already taken the entrance exam, and will receive recommendations from two of my college professors. The problem is, my parents are refusing to co-sign for my law school loan.

Abby, I'm not asking for money; I'm just asking for someone to co-sign the loan for me. I plan to pay off the debt myself. I don't want to ask an extended family member for help, because even if they agree, I'd feel horrible if it prevented them from helping their own children with something.

My parents don't have a good enough excuse to not co-sign for me, and it surprises me that it doesn't embarrass them that I may have to ask another family member for help. What should I do, Abby? -- FUTURE LAW SCHOOL STUDENT

DEAR FUTURE LAW SCHOOL STUDENT: Your parents shouldn't have to meet your criteria for what is a "good enough" excuse for being reluctant to co-sign on a loan for you. It should be enough that they are uncomfortable with the prospect of doing it.

While your desire to pursue the field of law is admirable, have you researched what job opportunities are available to new law school graduates? Currently, according to the media, these jobs are not nearly as plentiful as they have been historically.

However, if you are determined to plunge ahead, I think you already know what you're going to have to do -- and that includes seeing if you can find another source of funding for your law school education.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half. We knew each other for a while prior because we used to work together. Our relationship has been somewhat fun. The only issue that bothers me is that he can never seem to open up. He doesn't express his feelings toward me or even show much that he cares that we're together.

When I ask him about it, he says he's just not ready to open up and I should respect that. I do, because he has been through a lot in life. But it's hard to figure out where I stand with him. I'm always the one to make the first move -- whether it's to show affection or express my love for him. It's lonely and confusing that he doesn't, and I often feel like I'm in a relationship with myself.

Should I give him more time to get comfortable enough to open up? Or am I wasting my time? -- MIXED UP IN LOVE

DEAR MIXED UP: Not all men are comfortable expressing their emotions verbally. More important than what someone tells you, is how he treats you. You stated that he not only doesn't express his emotions, but also doesn't show that he cares you are a couple. A year and a half has been plenty of time for your boyfriend to respond with more than indifference.

Because you need more than he seems capable of giving, it's time to find someone who can give you the affection and affirmation you crave. In a relationship, BOTH parties must contribute if it is to survive.

DEAR ABBY: I read your column and I feel for the people who have problems. I have no worries. Although my life has been far from perfect and no bed of roses, here I am at 95 with no serious physical, spiritual, emotional, family or economic problems.

I grew up during the Depression, had wonderful parents, worked my way through college, and was married to a loving woman for 67 years. I have four successful children and their spouses and several industrious grandchildren. I also have met a terrific widow who shares the current daily obstacles.

Service in the Navy during WWII and Korea seemed at the time to limit my future career, but in retrospect were experiences I cherish. Science has been good to me. My knee replacement still permits tennis, three stents keep me alive, vertebra shots eliminate severe pain and I have had a couple of other minor corrections.

Yes, I know, Abby -- I am the luckiest person alive. -- FRANK IN ATLANTA

DEAR FRANK: I agree. And I can't help but wonder if part of your luck has to do with your attitude when you were faced with problems that others would consider to be adversities. We can all learn from your example.

DEAR ABBY: I know I have an issue with alcohol. I have read about local AA groups, but they don't seem right for me because I'm an atheist. When I went to my doctor, along with my supportive husband, she had no suggestions to offer. I know I need help beyond what friends and family can provide. Do you have any ideas for me? -- TAKING THE STEP IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR TAKING THE STEP: I certainly do, because there are secular alternatives to AA.

SMART Recovery offers a four-point program aimed at motivation to abstain, coping with cravings, managing negative emotions and finding a life balance. It has face-to-face support groups worldwide, as well as daily online meetings. Like AA, lifetime abstinence is the goal, and meetings and help are free of charge. Unlike AA, lifetime abstinence need not require lifetime attendance at meetings. For more information, visit smartrecovery.org.

Another group, Women for Sobriety, may be of interest to you because it is non-theistic and aims to empower women and minorities. The website, womenforsobriety.org, does not list its meetings (for reasons of privacy), so in order to find a group, you will have to make contact within the site.

Last, Secular Organizations for Sobriety (aka Save Our Selves) is sometimes described as a 12-step program minus the religious overtones. To find a list of meetings, visit sossobriety.org.