DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband for 28 years. During our first year of marriage, I caught him making out with an old classmate of mine. He assured me that it was only that and nothing else, so I decided to work through it.

We have five beautiful children now, and I'm not sure why I brought up that episode, but when I did I came to find out that he did, in fact, have sex with her. He swears it was that one and only time.

I can't find it in my heart to believe him after he held on to this lie for all these years. I would have never given him a second chance had I known back then. I would have moved on with my life.

We still have two little ones to raise, but I feel as torn and heartbroken as if it happened yesterday. He's a great father to our children and has been a wonderful husband, but is that enough anymore? -- SALTED HEART

DEAR SALTED HEART: Your husband most likely realized that if he told you the truth about his fling when it happened, the marriage would be over, which is why he lied. You have had 28 happy years of marriage to someone you say is a great father and wonderful husband. I can understand why you are upset, but think rationally.

If marriage counseling would make you feel better, please go for it and forgive him. To throw away everything you and your husband have invested in this marriage over something that happened almost three decades ago would be foolish, and you will regret it.

DEAR ABBY: My brother is getting married the same day and time that my wife graduates from college. The wedding date has been set for a year and a half. My wife found out a few months ago that there would be a conflict. I'm expected to be at my brother's wedding to escort my mom down the aisle. Which do I attend? -- CAN'T BE IN TWO PLACES

DEAR CAN'T BE: With apologies to your wife, you should honor the commitment you made first.

DEAR ABBY: During a recent family dinner, my uncle presented an odd gift to everyone there. He's in his mid-50s and involved in the community and government of a small town. He and other "public figures" -- most of them older -- decided to publish a calendar. On each page there is a nude photo of an aging community luminary posing with strategically placed objects covering his/her "goods." To say the least, the photos are not flattering, funny or particularly modest.

Not only did my uncle give one to every family member -- including my 80-year-old grandparents -- but he took pains to point out HIS photo. The awkward silence that followed ruined an otherwise nice family dinner.

Did this gift cross the line? Is there a rule of etiquette regarding risque pictures of oneself? And how do I make sure I never have to see any other family members in their birthday suits without my consent? -- FLABBERGASTED IN THE HEARTLAND

DEAR "FLAB": Personally, I think the premise of the calendar is a hoot. While your uncle may have wanted to "shock" the family, I'm sure he didn't intend to offend anyone. A movie was made a few years ago about a group of older women in an English village who did something similar to raise money for charity.

I'm sorry your family was offended, but I'm sure they'll recover and so will you. In the future, don't accept any gifts from this relative unless they have a warning label.

DEAR ABBY: My friend "Sara" invites herself and her two children over to play with mine from time to time. When it's time to have a snack or eat, she and her kids make themselves at home -- especially with the milk.

Abby, I work 70 hours a week. My children eat cereal often and love milk, but because of my schedule, I don't get a chance to go grocery shopping as often as I should. (I am a single parent.) How do I politely tell my friend that it's fine to make herself at home, but getting both of her children refills of milk without asking me is taking it too far? She knows I can afford it, but I'm uncomfortable asking because I don't know how to draw the line. -- WORKING MOM OUT WEST

DEAR WORKING MOM: I assume you communicate with Sara outside of her drop-in visits to your home? The next time you talk, text or email her, explain that you love her company and she's always welcome, but because of your 70-hour work schedule you don't get to the market as often as she does -- so when she brings her kids, please also bring a quart of milk with her. To do that is stating the facts, it isn't rude and it isn't asking too much. If she's your friend, and not a user, she will comply.

DEAR ABBY: Was I spreading gossip by telling my former husband that our granddaughter's wedding was off? We had just returned from their engagement party. It is my understanding that one wants to cancel, while the other wants to go through with it.

The wedding is a year away and this has been the talk of the family for the past six months. Apparently, there has been trouble in paradise because she had an affair. As a result, they are now going to counseling. Our granddaughter said she was going to move back in with her mother for a while. -- "GOSSIP" IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR "GOSSIP": While news that the wedding may be off should be the privilege of the engaged couple to reveal, I don't think telling your former husband there is trouble in paradise and what it entailed was gossip. It is not a secret within the family, and her grandfather is a relative regardless of the fact that the two of you are divorced.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old (American) boy with a problem. I act childish, as in hugging my mom every day and saying "I love you" to her. If anyone in my middle school finds out about this, I'm dead meat. Could you please give me some advice? -- SAD IN SOUTH KOREA

DEAR SAD: Gladly. Hugging one's mother and telling her you love her is nothing to be embarrassed about. It isn't "childish," but shows you are a caring son and have a great relationship with her. (Not all teenagers, or their moms, are so lucky.) I see no reason to announce anything to your schoolmates that's private -- first, because the relationship you have with your mom is none of their business, and second, they probably hug their mothers, too.

DEAR ABBY: Can you help me understand something that's bothering me? Since when is it OK for kids to stand in front of stores and ask for money for things (sports teams, group trips, etc.)?

When I was growing up (not that long ago), we held car washes and bake sales and sold candy bars. This standing and asking for money without doing something to earn it drives me nuts! I have often been tempted to say something, but always bite my tongue so as not to cause a scene, but I'm fed up! -- VENTING IN FLORIDA

DEAR VENTING: I confess, when I first started reading your letter, I thought you were a curmudgeon. By the time I reached the end, I realized you have a valid point. This may happen because the adults involved in the fundraising are unimaginative and don't realize the message this sends to the kids is a poor one.

Because it bothers you, talk to the manager of the store where this is allowed because not all businesses encourage it. You could also write a letter to your local newspaper and call attention to the fact that when organizations do this, it teaches young people they can get something for nothing.