DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband for 28 years. During our first year of marriage, I caught him making out with an old classmate of mine. He assured me that it was only that and nothing else, so I decided to work through it.
We have five beautiful children now, and I'm not sure why I brought up that episode, but when I did I came to find out that he did, in fact, have sex with her. He swears it was that one and only time.
I can't find it in my heart to believe him after he held on to this lie for all these years. I would have never given him a second chance had I known back then. I would have moved on with my life.
We still have two little ones to raise, but I feel as torn and heartbroken as if it happened yesterday. He's a great father to our children and has been a wonderful husband, but is that enough anymore? -- SALTED HEART
DEAR SALTED HEART: Your husband most likely realized that if he told you the truth about his fling when it happened, the marriage would be over, which is why he lied. You have had 28 happy years of marriage to someone you say is a great father and wonderful husband. I can understand why you are upset, but think rationally.
If marriage counseling would make you feel better, please go for it and forgive him. To throw away everything you and your husband have invested in this marriage over something that happened almost three decades ago would be foolish, and you will regret it.