DEAR ABBY: I am very excited to be proposing soon to the man I want to spend my life with. My family is excited for me -- with one exception. My younger sister, whom I want to be my best woman, says she doesn't know if she will be able to participate in our wedding because she's having trouble reconciling that her faith tells her same-sex marriage is a sin. I have explained that it will be a civil ceremony with a judge instead of a religious figure and she says that this "helps," but she still doesn't know if she can be part of it.

I love my sister and I know that if she didn't love me in return, she wouldn't be struggling with this; she just wouldn't participate. She's racking her brain and her Bible trying to find a way to square her faith with her love for me and my soon-to-be fiance.

Despite this, I can't help feeling hurt that she views my relationship as a sin she can't be part of. If she decides she can't stand with me in my wedding, I don't know what to do. If she can't support my marriage, should I ask her to not come to the ceremony? -- WEDDING WOES

DEAR WEDDING WOES: I don't think you should be retaliatory and tell your sister to stay away if she feels her faith doesn't permit her to be a member of your wedding party. If that's the case, she may decide on her own not to attend.

What you should do -- right now -- is decide whom else you would like to stand up with you on this important occasion. Choose someone who has no question about whether you are doing the right thing. I hope your special day will be a happy one and that you will allow no one to blemish it.

DEAR ABBY: I've been on and off again with this boy for about a year now, and he is socially awkward whereas I am not. He is extremely funny and loyal.

I'm 13 and I think he wants to move to the next level of our relationship, and I'm not ready for that. He talks a lot of crap about my friends, too. I feel like I need a break from him. How do I let him know how I feel without sounding rude? -- TEEN IN ALBERTA, CANADA

DEAR TEEN: Be clear in your messages to him. Tell him you don't like the way he talks about your friends, and you don't want to hear him do it again. If he pushes you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, tell him NO and that he should stop immediately. It is not rude to create boundaries for yourself; in fact, it is healthy. It is more important to be forthright than to be polite.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a divorced man dating a divorcee, "Sylvie," who is eight years younger. I recently learned she had an affair before we met, and it is affecting the way I see her.

The man she had the affair with is still married. I had an affair while I was married, and although I understand how affairs can happen, I don't condone them. It took me several years to forgive myself for the hurt my actions caused.

Sylvie tells me things are over with this man, yet she continues to do business with him. In my mind she ought to find alternative vendors to deal with. We have spoken about it, and she insists no one else in our area carries or represents the product line he offers.

I feel if she truly is over him, then all communication, both personal and professional, should cease. It's not that I don't trust Sylvie, but I believe things might reignite between them in a weak moment. Am I being ridiculous? -- DAZED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR DAZED: You're not being ridiculous, but the truth is you don't completely trust Sylvie when she says the affair is history. For her to sacrifice a necessary business contact because you are insecure would be a mistake. There would be financial consequences, and she has no guarantee that her relationship with you will progress beyond dating.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of three years slapped me across the face a few nights ago. He has never done that before, and he promised he'd never do it again. After he hit me he immediately apologized, but said I was partly at fault because I had taunted and belittled him. I love him very much and know he would never want to hurt me.

We're both in our 20s and have expressed our devout love for each other. My boyfriend is the sweetest guy and truly makes me a happier person, but I don't know if I can fully trust and be in love with him after he hit me. I feel partly responsible for what happened that night, but I know I didn't deserve to be hit.

Is my boyfriend an abuser? He has been nothing but caring and supportive and shows no other signs of being abusive. What should I do? -- TAKEN ABACK OUT WEST

DEAR TAKEN ABACK: Let me point out that abusers do not start out relationships by being that way. But once slapping starts, it often escalates to pushing, hitting and more serious violence. One of the hallmarks of an abuser is blaming the victim by saying he/she deserved it, and it is a big, red warning sign.

Because you have said that your boyfriend has never shown any other signs of being abusive in your three-year relationship, consider this incident an unfortunate one-time occurrence. But keep your eyes wide open in case it wasn't.

DEAR ABBY: For the last five months I have been talking to a guy I met via a dating app. We live a few states apart and have yet to meet in person, but we communicate regularly.

With my tax refund this year, I'd like to do something for me. He suggested that I visit him. I don't get any red flags from him, and I'm sure I'd be 100 percent safe while I'm there. However, I'm anxious about taking a trip by myself to visit a guy I've developed a massive crush on.

I have thought about offering to pay his way here instead, or simply not going at all. I asked my friends and family for their opinions. Some of them think I should go, while others say I should pay his way here. I need advice from an outsider's perspective. -- CONFUSED AND CRUSHING

DEAR C AND C: I vote for having your friend come and visit you the first time you meet. That way your family and friends can meet him, and if your massive crush doesn't live up to your expectations, you won't be alone in a strange city and at a disadvantage.

DEAR ABBY: I live in a house with my husband, his 11-year-old son and my husband's father. I am pregnant with my first child and I get cravings for chocolate. I sometimes hide my special chocolates in my armoire so I don't have to worry about my sugar-crazed son getting to them.

However, I have recently found out that he goes through my things to find the goodies and helps himself. I feel he has stepped over the line and violated my privacy. My husband and I have confronted him about it more than once, and each time he lies and argues before he eventually admits it.

We have talked to him about privacy and make sure to give him his privacy in his room. How can we turn his behavior around and make him see that he is being disrespectful toward me? -- PREGNANT CHOCOLATE LOVER

DEAR CHOCOLATE LOVER: There should be consequences for misbehavior, and they should be explained to the boy. He should also understand there will be more severe consequences for lying to cover it up. Because you know the boy cannot be trusted, put a lock on the closet or cupboard where you stow your stash, or on your bedroom door.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been happily married for 38 years. Almost everything is great, except that the wife of his best friend, "Ted," has the hots for my husband. We all get along well, but it's obvious her interest is mostly in my husband, not me.

Ted has no idea his wife feels this way, but several people have pointed it out, and I have observed the way she acts. I have talked to my husband about it. He in no way is interested in her.

I would never want to jeopardize my husband's friendship with Ted, and I enjoy being friends with them both, but I'm uncomfortable about her feelings for my husband. Can I say something to her and let her know how I feel without ruining the friendship with her or the one my husband has with Ted? -- SITUATION IN AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR SITUATION: Probably not. While it wouldn't change the relationship your husband has with Ted, if you address this with his wife and tell her you know she has been lusting after your husband, it's sure to cause embarrassment. And that's not conducive to a close friendship.