DEAR ABBY: What do I say to people who give me unsolicited parenting advice or scold my daughter in public? I would never interfere with another parent or direct a child who isn't in my care. What gives these people the right to barge into someone else's life in such a way?

I have been chastised for letting my daughter sit on the floor while waiting in a long line, letting her be more than 4 feet away from me in the aisles, and allowing her to speak loudly. She's 3. I don't hire a sitter for running errands and I can't leave her in the car.

It's hard enough wrangling an energetic kid while trying to shop, do banking or send mail without being constantly pestered by strangers. Do you have any thoughts on this? -- MOM IN HILLSBORO, ORE.

DEAR MOM: If your child is so disruptive that individuals feel the need to intervene or offer "parenting advice," then it's time you took some of it to heart. If she's bored while you're doing errands, bring something along for her to do rather than use her "outside voice" or run wild in the aisles.

DEAR ABBY: Prom is less than three weeks away, and I'm still looking for the perfect dress. My mom and I went prom dress shopping one time -- but everything I liked, she didn't. She told me that if she didn't like the dress, she was not going to purchase it.

I tried to tell her this is my prom and I should like the dress, not her, without sounding mean. She told me I should pick the cheapest dress.

Am I wrong for not liking the dresses she likes? How can I get through to her that this is not her prom, but my prom? -- AGGRAVATED IN LOUISIANA

DEAR AGGRAVATED: When you start buying your own wardrobe, your taste can be the deciding factor. However, when your mother buys it FOR you, it's important to remember that her budget needs to be considered and try to be gracious about it. As you will discover when you are older, because a dress is expensive does not guarantee that it's the prettiest or that it will look great on you.

DEAR ABBY: Friday, April 22, is Earth Day. Recycling is so important to our planet's irreplaceable resources. Can you please remind your readers how long it takes items to break down in a landfill? -- SCOTT IN TEXAS

DEAR SCOTT: Items such as glass bottles and jars, plastic containers, aluminum cans, disposable diapers and plastic foam cups can take from hundreds to thousands of years -- or more -- to decompose. Cigarette butts can take up to 10 years. I encourage interested readers to go online, see the figures and learn what they can do to reduce, reuse or recycle.

Earth Day offers a chance for all of us to do something positive for the planet. Many parents use it as an opportunity to bond with their children, and some schools offer credit to students who participate. Helping children understand how the garbage they produce impacts their environment is important, so please, Readers, do what you can.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is extremely critical of others. He almost never has anything nice to say about anyone. He badmouths his co-workers, friends, family members and strangers. We don't have friends anymore because he doesn't want to be around them. I don't understand his type of personality.

He thinks his way of thinking and doing things is the only right way and everyone else is wrong. He's always quick to shift the blame when something goes awry. If he accidentally bumps into someone or breaks something, it's never his fault -- the person was in his way, or the broken object was junk, etc.

What makes people this way? Is there any hope that he can change? We are nearing retirement age, and I need my space. I cannot be his everything. -- REACHED THE LIMIT IN INDIANA

DEAR REACHED: It appears you married a self-entitled misanthrope. Not knowing him, I can't guess why your husband is this way. Change is possible in anyone, IF the person recognizes the need for it and wants to change. From your description, he must be a heavy load to carry, and I doubt he will admit the need.

If you want to continue this marriage and save your sanity after he retires, you must create separate time, hobbies and relationships for yourself apart from him, and be prepared in advance for the fact that he won't like it one bit.

DEAR ABBY: Kudos to you for your advice to "Willing to Do It in West Virginia" (Dec. 10), who asked for advice regarding temporarily adopting her son "Kevin's" dog while he was away on deployment, which her husband did not want to do. The husband felt that Kevin getting the dog in the first place was a mistake and her son should "learn his lesson." You advised that they should temporarily take the dog, since there was no way of knowing what might happen during his deployment.

Giving the dog to a shelter would have a high probability of being a death sentence. That's not humane when there are viable alternatives, and the situation is no fault of the dog's. An alternative would be to contact Dogs on Deployment (dogsondeployment.org), a national nonprofit that provides an online network that connects service members with volunteers willing to board their pets during their service commitments.

Dogs on Deployment promotes responsible, lifelong pet ownership by advocating for military pet owner rights, providing educational resources, and granting financial assistance for military pet owners during times of emergency. -- JENNIFER IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR JENNIFER: Thank you for the information. Other Dear Abby readers mentioned that returning soldiers may have witnessed traumatic things during deployment and, once they return home, need the unconditional love an animal companion provides. Along with Dogs on Deployment, other organizations that may be helpful to military families include PACT for Animals, Guardian Angels for Soldier's Pet or the local SPCA.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing this as a warning -- especially to older women who get married a second time to someone with adult children. Please keep your own money separate, if at all possible.

Throughout our long marriage, I trusted my second husband to do what he promised me and my relatives. He arranged very good financial care for me in the event of his death, and assured me that I would want for nothing.

Unbeknownst to me until it was too late, my husband had left power of attorney to his money-hungry children, who proceeded to take advantage of his dementia and very old age. Tragically, they convinced my husband to divorce me. This brought me much heartbreak, shock and lack of trust after a happy, long marriage.

Because I am a strong person, I have learned to cope and take care of myself. It wasn't easy, and the process has been slow, but I'm succeeding. Along the way I have learned some painful but valuable lessons.

I would like my experience to help other women, especially older, traditional women like me who have spent most of their lives taking care of their husbands and are dependent on them to take responsible, proper and loving financial care of us. Thank you, Abby. -- MOVING AHEAD NOW

DEAR MOVING AHEAD: What was done to you is disgraceful, and I hope your letter will serve as a warning to other wives. If your husband had shown you the documents he had drawn up regarding his estate planning, and he and his lawyer had explained them all to you, this wouldn't have happened. To me, the lesson here is "trust, but verify," and I hope others will learn from your experience before it's too late for them.

DEAR ABBY: I have encountered an "over-hugger." I hug often, but respect how others feel about it. This person does not extend that courtesy. His typical hug involves picking the recipient up off the ground, which I think is his way of showing off. The last time I saw him I offered my hand. Instead, he yanked me in and said, "We give hugs here!" It felt invasive. I know he is trying to show love, but he puts his own desire before the needs of others.

I want to tell him not to hug me anymore. However, it's complicated because we are part of a loose-knit athletic community, and people hug left and right at our events. I hug a lot of people, but I'm polite about it. Not only would I likely have to declare "no hugs" to him in front of others, but it would become obvious that we don't hug.

Am I odd to not want him to hug me? Would I be wrong to just tell him I'd prefer a handshake? -- OVER-HUGGED IN TEXAS

DEAR OVER-HUGGED: You're not odd. Even people who like to be hugged dislike being swept off their feet in the manner you have described. It would not be wrong to take the person aside and tell him privately that in the future, you would prefer that he just give you a warm handshake instead of grabbing you.