DEAR ABBY: I'm a 29-year-old self-made millionaire who has spent the last decade saving and investing my middle-class income. I grew up dirt poor, so at 18 I left home with $5, went straight to work and never looked back.

Recently, I've realized that I struggle to make friends for fear they'll find out about my financial situation. Those who know only want to talk about money or treat me differently. Most of my peers are broke and it makes me feel guilty. Those with high incomes blow their money on fancy dinners and luxury vehicles. I'm just a working-class woman who likes driving my 10-year-old car, and I don't feel like I fit in with anyone. In fact, I'm developing an anxiety.

A few months ago I went to the bank to deposit a large sum of money and was mortified to see that the bank teller was a friend of the family. I have gone to the extreme of lying about owning homes and going on vacations, and it's making me crazy. I even have issues with letting my young daughter's friends come over for playdates, for fear that the other moms will think our house is "too nice." Do I need counseling or is this just a turning point in my life that I need to grasp? -- MONEY WORRIES

DEAR MONEY WORRIES: If someone has to have money worries, yours are the nicest kind to have. It would be interesting to know how many successful people share your feelings, because I suspect that you are far from alone in experiencing them. (A psychiatrist once told me that many of her successful patients feel like frauds despite their considerable accomplishments.) A licensed mental health professional can help you to get past these feelings before they cause your daughter to be isolated, and I think the money would be well spent.

P.S. If you feel your banking transactions are not being kept confidential, either change financial institutions or arrange for private banking, which is available for high-net-worth individuals.

DEAR ABBY: I am raising two of my grandchildren because their parents can't take care of them. The kids are still learning acceptable behavior because they were never taught.

I'll give you an example of something that happens often: I was paying for an item at a store and my granddaughter sneaked behind the counter and reached into the display case. Cupcakes were involved. The saleslady asked her to stop. I immediately got ahold of my wayward offender, glued her to my side until I was finished and then made her apologize.

The problem was, the saleslady immediately said, "Oh, it's OK." I then had to ask the saleslady to please not tell my granddaughter that it was OK, but instead to accept my granddaughter's apology, because my granddaughter really would think it was OK. Your thoughts? -- RAISING GRANDKIDS

DEAR RAISING: I think the salesperson was simply being polite and professional, and that those children are lucky to have such a caring grandmother watching out for them.

DEAR ABBY: I am a junior in high school. Last year, a guy I have known for two years began showing a sexual interest in me. I rejected his advances. Last week, he began expressing his interest again, letting me know he wanted to have sex. He invited me to study -- only study -- but said we "might" make out.

I was a virgin and had never even kissed anyone before. I had just gotten out of a relationship that didn't end very well, so I liked the attention. I decided I was fine with just kissing, but as soon as I got in his truck, he started to feel me up. He took me to a semi-isolated area and we ended up having sex. It wasn't fun or pleasurable. I told him he was hurting me, but he didn't stop until the third time I said it. He was very upset with me. He only cared about me pleasuring him.

I told two of my close friends about what happened. One said he had essentially raped me. The other said it doesn't count as rape because even though I said it hurt, I didn't say it forcefully enough. Abby, what do you think? -- UNCERTAIN IN ILLINOIS

DEAR UNCERTAIN: It appears you and that boy had a severe breakdown in communication, which led to your being sexually assaulted. He had made no secret that he wanted sex with you, and may have interpreted your willingness to kiss him after he took you somewhere other than what was agreed upon as a signal that you were willing, even though you didn't say so.

Date rape happens when a fellow ends up coercing or forcing a girl to have sex without her consent. Unless a girl explicitly expresses her willingness to proceed, it is the responsibility of the boy NOT to proceed.

To me what happened illustrates how important it is for parents to talk to their sons and daughters about responsible behavior because failure to do that can have lifelong consequences for both. If you haven't already done so, you should tell your parents what happened. However, if you don't feel safe doing that, tell a counselor at school.

DEAR ABBY: Can you give me a complete list of etiquette rules for parents with divorced children? My daughter and her ex-husband are constantly battling over issues regarding their two children. Her ex is engaged, and his soon-to-be wife gives her opinion on everything to do with parenting the kids. This is causing a continuous battle, and it isn't good for the children. -- GRANDMA IN MINNESOTA

DEAR GRANDMA: I will offer just one "rule." Divorced parents should remember that above all, what's most important is what's best for the children and maintain consistency wherever possible between the households.

DEAR ABBY: Recently a guy I've known for more than a year decided it would be best for us to part ways. Before Christmas, I had asked what he would like for Christmas. His response was, "I don't want anything for Christmas -- I want you."

A couple of weeks later, he told me the pictures, nightstand, candy dishes and candleholders he had in my apartment were gifts from him because he loved me. Tonight, he packed everything up and left! I don't know exactly why, but I think it has more to do with his own issues than about me.

Abby, I feel I have been manipulated and used. Ironically, this man I thought was a friend is a psychotherapist. While we were together, he would discuss confidential information about some of his clients with me. I think I should report him, but on the other hand, I'm asking myself whether I'm only looking for revenge.

Should I leave it alone, or report him to the American Psychological Association? Or am I overreacting to losing him? I still feel really mixed up. -- VENGEFUL IN MINNESOTA

DEAR VENGEFUL: Psychotherapists are not gods, and like other human beings, they can have their flaws. I understand why you would be hurt and disappointed. However, rather than look for revenge, you should consider yourself lucky you didn't invest more time in this flake.

As to whether you should report his breach of professional ethics to the APA, I think that for the sake of the patients/clients whose trust he has betrayed, you should do exactly that -- but after your anger is no longer raging.

DEAR ABBY: I'm wondering if I have an issue or if what concerns me is fairly normal. I am 31 years old and have three daughters, two stepsons, an ex-wife and one current wife.

I have been asked most of my adult life, as I'm sure most people have, "Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten years?" For some reason, I can't figure out how to answer this question. There are many variables at play, and many lives would be affected by my pursuing what I want in five to 10 years. I can't say I'm going to be "here doing this in five years" because I have no idea what might change.

Do I need professional help? It upsets my wife when she wants to talk about the future and I can't give her an answer. -- CONFUSED ABOUT THE FUTURE

DEAR CONFUSED: Some people use the question of "where will you be ..." as a method of setting goals. What your wife may really be asking is, "Are you satisfied with things as they are now, and if not, what changes do you intend to make?" If that's the case, it might be illuminating to ask her what changes she would like you to make.