DEAR ABBY: Recently a guy I've known for more than a year decided it would be best for us to part ways. Before Christmas, I had asked what he would like for Christmas. His response was, "I don't want anything for Christmas -- I want you."

A couple of weeks later, he told me the pictures, nightstand, candy dishes and candleholders he had in my apartment were gifts from him because he loved me. Tonight, he packed everything up and left! I don't know exactly why, but I think it has more to do with his own issues than about me.

Abby, I feel I have been manipulated and used. Ironically, this man I thought was a friend is a psychotherapist. While we were together, he would discuss confidential information about some of his clients with me. I think I should report him, but on the other hand, I'm asking myself whether I'm only looking for revenge.

Should I leave it alone, or report him to the American Psychological Association? Or am I overreacting to losing him? I still feel really mixed up. -- VENGEFUL IN MINNESOTA

DEAR VENGEFUL: Psychotherapists are not gods, and like other human beings, they can have their flaws. I understand why you would be hurt and disappointed. However, rather than look for revenge, you should consider yourself lucky you didn't invest more time in this flake.

As to whether you should report his breach of professional ethics to the APA, I think that for the sake of the patients/clients whose trust he has betrayed, you should do exactly that -- but after your anger is no longer raging.

DEAR ABBY: I'm wondering if I have an issue or if what concerns me is fairly normal. I am 31 years old and have three daughters, two stepsons, an ex-wife and one current wife.

I have been asked most of my adult life, as I'm sure most people have, "Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten years?" For some reason, I can't figure out how to answer this question. There are many variables at play, and many lives would be affected by my pursuing what I want in five to 10 years. I can't say I'm going to be "here doing this in five years" because I have no idea what might change.

Do I need professional help? It upsets my wife when she wants to talk about the future and I can't give her an answer. -- CONFUSED ABOUT THE FUTURE

DEAR CONFUSED: Some people use the question of "where will you be ..." as a method of setting goals. What your wife may really be asking is, "Are you satisfied with things as they are now, and if not, what changes do you intend to make?" If that's the case, it might be illuminating to ask her what changes she would like you to make.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, "Ed," who dated a woman who put him down regularly. He was often depressed, and we would discuss what was wrong. Eventually I told him I didn't think she was good for him and he should end it. Instead, he became reluctant to tell me if anything was wrong.

When they got engaged, everyone was shocked. Ed explained it by saying they had been dating for several years so an engagement seemed "logical." Although many of his friends thought he was making a mistake, we offered our congratulations and support.

The other day, by coincidence, I read an article on the subject of female-on-male domestic abuse and realized that Ed's wife -- although she doesn't physically harm him -- demonstrates all the signs of an abuser. Part of me wants to discuss my concerns with Ed, but part of me thinks it's too late because they're already married. And maybe it's none of my business. What would you do? -- FEARFUL FRIEND

DEAR FRIEND: I would try a more subtle approach than your past efforts. I would share that article with my friend Ed and let him draw his own conclusions.

DEAR ABBY: My wife is a nurse who works 36 hours a week. Two years ago she got duped into working for a multilevel marketing company. All she does now in her spare time is try to recruit people. She is never home.

We have two kids. She spends $700 a month on products and makes only $250 a month. Her so-called business is everything to her. She won't get marriage counseling. She says she isn't a quitter. I want a divorce, but I hate the consequences of ending a 15-year marriage.

I need help. It would be so easy to cheat, and I have been tempted more than once, but haven't done it. We are in our 40s, and I feel like a single parent. What do I do? I'm so frustrated. She is basically working for free and thinks she'll be able to retire rich from it. -- BRAINWASHED

DEAR BRAINWASHED: The business venture you have described may be a pyramid scheme. Many people have ended up with garages filled with inventory they can't unload and nothing to show for it. If she refuses counseling, then YOU should consider it for yourself, because what has been going on in your marriage for the last two years is unfair to you and your children. Then you can get a clearer picture of what your next steps should be.

DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing the same dentist for a number of years and have always been satisfied with his work. He has recently begun to talk politics while he works on my teeth. While I feel he's entitled to his opinions, I don't think I should have to listen while his hand is in my mouth. He doesn't realize it, but I am very politically active with the other party.

Abby, his politicizing grates on my nerves and raises my blood pressure, but I don't know how to tell him that I find his comments to be unprofessional. If I change dentists, I could possibly encounter the same problem, especially in this area of the country.

Should I discuss it with him and hope he doesn't start withholding anesthetic or charging extra out of spite? I'm not sure how to handle this because I have dental issues and need a good dentist who will see me when I need him. Help! -- OPEN WIDE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR OPEN WIDE: It shouldn't be necessary to reveal your political affiliation to your dentist. All you have to say is that there are some subjects that you find stressful, and among them are current events, so he should please refrain from bringing them up while you're in his chair because it upsets you and raises your blood pressure.

P.S. If you feel you need more novocaine, ask for some.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married three times. My first two husbands were unfaithful and the third was bipolar. I have finally found the man of my dreams and we recently became engaged. There is just one small problem. He has two house dogs he loves dearly and doesn't want to part with, and I refuse to have dogs in my house. Our marriage is on hold because of this. What should I do? -- STICKLER IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR STICKLER: If you are unable to share this man with his house pets, then realize that although he may be the man of your dreams, you are not the woman for him, and let him go.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married three times. My first two husbands were unfaithful and the third was bipolar. I have finally found the man of my dreams and we recently became engaged. There is just one small problem. He has two house dogs he loves dearly and doesn't want to part with, and I refuse to have dogs in my house. Our marriage is on hold because of this. What should I do? -- STICKLER IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR STICKLER: If you are unable to share this man with his house pets, then realize that although he may be the man of your dreams, you are not the woman for him, and let him go.