DEAR ABBY: About a year ago, my daughter befriended a schoolmate. After numerous playdates, our families have become close. While my family is atheist, we know this family is devoutly Christian. Recently, after I mentioned in conversation that we "weren't religious," they invited us to their church for service. I diplomatically declined, but it felt awkward having told the mom our non-beliefs.

Since then, this family invites us to church constantly, and the mom routinely brings up Scripture while we're talking. I feel like they are trying to convert us. I'm hurt that the respect we have extended to this family isn't being reciprocated. How do I let her know she's being disrespectful to me and my family's beliefs without jeopardizing the friendship between our families? -- ATHEIST IN THE SOUTH

DEAR ATHEIST: I can't guarantee that the woman won't take offense, but it's less likely if you refrain from using the word "disrespectful." Try to remember that she thinks she's offering you the keys to the kingdom of heaven. It might be gentler if you told her that in light of the fact that you are an atheist, you find what she's trying to do to be "hurtful."

Continue to politely refuse her invitations to attend her church. If she's in the habit of quoting Scripture in normal conversation, you will have to grit your teeth and tolerate it. (Remember, we all have freedom of expression.) But I can't guarantee that you will always remain as close as you have been, not because she's hurt that you're not interested in being converted, but because at some point you may find her behavior so annoying that YOU will end the relationship.

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Mimi," and I have been married nine years and together for 14. We have agreed that while we love each other, we are no longer "in love." We have stayed together because we're comfortable.

Mimi has just informed me that she's pregnant with someone else's baby and will be moving out soon. She is all I have known since we have been together. I feel lost and confused and sad. Do you have any advice? -- DEEPLY HURT IN TAMPA

DEAR DEEPLY HURT: Were you aware that your wife -- whom you say you are no longer in love with -- was seeing other men? If the answer is yes, then you should understand that what has happened is a logical progression. If not, then while you were comfortable with each other, you were not open and honest.

That you would feel sad is natural because there is loss involved in the demise of your relationship with Mimi. And so that this doesn't happen in your next relationship, I'm advising you to discuss this with a therapist. You have some grieving to do and it would be better if you don't do it alone.

DEAR ABBY: I need some advice about quitting smoking. I am the father of an only child and husband to a wonderful wife. But for some reason, I have not been able to find the motivation to quit. I know smoking is bad for my health, and I don't want to endanger my child's health any longer.

I have tried the gum, the patch and even prescription meds. My willpower just isn't strong and I can't quit, no matter what I try. I need the right inspiration. Can you help me stop this nasty habit? -- SICK OF IT IN MISSOURI

DEAR SICK OF IT: I'll try. As a former smoker, I'll share what worked for me. Cold turkey. First, clean house. Get rid of all the cigarettes you have stashed at home, in your car and at your workplace. Yes, even the pack you "forgot" in your jacket pocket.

Realize that your body is saturated with nicotine and it must be flushed out. Drinking LOTS of water for the first month will help you accomplish that.

Then, choose one day when you will go entirely smoke-free. Understand going in that you will crave your "fix." When that craving hits, if you must put something in your mouth, chew (non-nicotine) gum, go brush your teeth or eat a crunchy vegetable (carrot sticks, celery). If you can manage to do this for just one day, you can do it for another one. And then another, etc.

Accept that you are an addict and that your "sobriety" is something you will have to cling to with determination. Eventually the impulse to grab a cigarette will fade, but every now and then you may have an urge to smoke that comes out of left field. When that happens, get up and walk out of the room. By the time you return, the urge will have subsided. Mine did.

And one more thing -- if you fall off the wagon (and you may), think about watching your child graduate from high school or college, getting married and playing with your grandchildren. Your chances of doing those things will be better if you're not a smoker. Then get back on that wagon and start over again.

That's how I quit, and the third time I did it, it worked. (Clearly, I do not have willpower of cast iron.) If I can do it, believe me, so can you. Please write again in six months and let me know you're tobacco-free, too. I'm rooting for you.

DEAR ABBY: Can you really learn to love someone you don't find physically attractive? -- TWITTER FAN OF ABBY

DEAR TWITTER FAN: You may learn to love the person for his or her finer qualities, but I don't think you can "learn" to find someone physically attractive if the chemistry simply isn't there.

DEAR ABBY: I'm wondering how to approach a situation following a visit with some relatives. We enjoyed a wonderful visit and they were very nice to put us up in their guest room. A few days into our stay, I woke up with strange and very itchy bites on my legs and shoulders. When I mentioned it to our host, she quickly supplied me with some itch cream and changed the subject.

After we returned home, we met a few of our relatives and they mentioned that this particular household was experiencing a bed bug problem. I was shocked and a little hurt that they didn't mention the infestation or warn us ahead of time.

We're in the process of making sure we didn't bring any of these critters home, but if we must hire an exterminator or replace furniture, we will be in a bind financially. What would be the proper way to address this, and should our host feel some responsibility for what costs we may have to incur? -- ITCHY AND IRRITATED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ITCHY: That these relatives would knowingly allow you to stay in a room they knew was infested with "critters" is appalling. Could they have been too embarrassed to speak up?

If you must replace rugs, mattresses, bedding, etc., ask them to reimburse you. If they refuse, you could take them to small claims court and get a judgment IF you could prove you picked the bugs up there. But first you should let your relatives know that other family members told you about their "sin of omission." In the future, if you plan to visit this couple again, stay elsewhere. Once bitten, twice shy.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "George" for 20 years. We have a solid relationship except for one thing that drives me crazy: He insists on having his ex-wife cut his hair.

I have told him over and over that I really dislike it and I wish he would go elsewhere, but he refuses. Now he's going behind my back and waiting for me to notice that he's had a haircut. He used to at least tell me beforehand. It would take an entire column to describe her past behavior, but it's not all that different from many exes.

I think what he's doing is disrespectful to me. I would never continue doing something he asked me not to if it bothered him. There are a lot of hairstylists in this town, and her haircuts aren't that great. Am I being unreasonable? -- BOTHERED IN IDAHO

DEAR BOTHERED: Your husband has been doing this for 20 years and you are only writing to me about it now? Because it bothers you, the next time he goes over to get his hair cut, volunteer to go with him. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em -- and maybe get a manicure in the process.