DEAR READERS: I promised "Heartbroken Mom From Anywhere" (Oct. 5) to print letters from readers offering suggestions about helping her teen daughter, who is a cutter:

DEAR ABBY: I am a 33-year-old woman who has cut for many years, starting early in high school. What concerns me is the mom doesn't completely understand what's going on. Not many people do.

Self-harm is a cry for help from someone who doesn't know how to voice his or her emotions. I, too, was bullied and didn't know how to express the pain I was feeling, so I took it out on my body. Over the years it became my coping mechanism, although an unhealthy one.

Helping someone who is self-harming requires understanding and a licensed professional to identify the emotions and suggest better ways to express them. One that worked for me was doing puzzles. It was a way to keep my mind and hands busy.

This teen also needs to know she is not alone. Parents need to listen. I cannot stress how important it is for cutters to know someone is there for them with love and no judgment. -- KNOWS FROM EXPERIENCE IN MISSOURI

DEAR ABBY: I grew up in a dysfunctional household with abusive parents. When I would cut, it was like I could feel all my pent-up emotions leaking out through the wounds on my legs. The physical pain was bearable and distracted me from everything that was going on in my life, and I would feel a little bit better about myself and a little less desperate.

Cutting is a powerful addiction. Even now, more than 10 years later, when things get bad I feel a compulsion to just make one small cut. What helped me to stop cutting wasn't counseling or medication. It was becoming passionate about active hobbies that allowed me to release my bottled-up feelings and stress and feel good at the same time. -- FORMER CUTTER IN MINNESOTA

DEAR ABBY: I have worked in psychiatry for 10 years and have found that some of these children have been sexually molested. Some told their parents and were not believed because it was the mother's boyfriend, a family friend or a relative. Carrying this around is a heavy burden.

Parents need to show the child they will look into the allegation. We should be a safe place for our kids to offload all their fears and insecurities, because we have a duty to protect them from abuse. -- IN THE FIELD IN BROOKLYN, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a cutter from age 9 to the present -- age 22 -- though now it's less frequent. The biggest mistake my parents and friends made when I was really destructive was forcing me to commit to ultimatums. It turned my cutting into a shameful thing, isolated me and made it impossible to talk about it.

I advise "Heartbroken" to keep talking to her daughter (not nagging) about cutting, bullying, school and things the girl likes. Share activities with her. Take her hiking, bicycling, to museums or movies. Spending time with her is important for distraction and bonding. Physical activity can help depressed individuals feel better.

And she should understand that recovery is never a straight line. There will be hiccups, setbacks and days when it doesn't seem like it will get better. Eventually, with therapy (via counselors, bonding with friends/family, connection with nature/animals) and learning better coping habits, she will improve. Patience and support are imperative. -- KYLE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ABBY: I am a young man who is currently in college. When I was an infant I was circumcised, and I feel violated that my parents decided to circumcise me without my consent. When the doctor performed the surgery, he took too much off, which causes me pain.

When I was in grade school, I was sexually assaulted by an older classmate, but I feel much more violated from the circumcision because it took a part of me that I can never get back. I am filled with hate and anger toward my parents, even though I know it is unfair to them because they believed they were making the right choice at the time.

My parents know how I feel and are sorry, but I still have these negative feelings toward them because I can't get the procedure undone. Do you have any suggestions how I can overcome my dilemma and build a better relationship with my parents? -- CUT SHORT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR C.S.: Yes, I have several. All of them involve talking to doctors. The place to start would be your student health center to determine exactly what is causing your pain and if there is help for it. A doctor there may refer you to a urologist, who may be able to get the problem corrected.

In addition, I urge you to talk to a licensed mental health professional to help you work through your anger because it may be misdirected and a result of the sexual assault you experienced in grade school.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I live in a small house on a small lot. We don't have children, but love kids. Our problem is our next-door neighbors, whose two elementary school-age boys have limited supervision. They're always in our yard digging and leaving their toys around. Honestly, their own yard is bigger.

They constantly come over asking for candy, and the other day while my husband was working from home, he heard someone trying to open the door and pushing the keypad for entry. Needless to say, it was one of the boys.

I have tried asking them nicely to retrieve their toys, etc., but I'm getting really frustrated and afraid I'm going to lose my patience soon and blow. Please help us. -- TRYING TO REMAIN NICE NEIGHBORS

DEAR TRYING: You say you have spoken to the boys, but have you spoken to their parents? That one of the boys would try to gain entry to your house -- I assume thinking there was no one there -- is worrisome, and the parents should be put on notice about it. (In some neighborhoods the outcome could be dangerous.) If you can't get them to take action, then consider fencing your yard.

DEAR ABBY: In 2004, my husband and I were contacted by a friend who had gotten into an abusive relationship and lost custody of her daughter. She asked us to go through social services and adopt her little girl, so at least she would know her baby was loved and well taken care of.

Long story short, we did everything we could, but in the end we lost our battle. The grandparents were involved and took over. It was heartbreaking after a year and a half of loving the girl to have to let her go.

My niece works at an ice cream shop and saw our precious one recently. Would it be wrong to contact her and her grandparents now that we know they are in town? I'd love to visit and form a relationship, but don't know if it would be appropriate. -- HURTING IN COLORADO

DEAR HURTING: Not knowing how bitter the "battle" to keep your friend's child was, it's hard to say how the grandparents will react if you reach out. I suppose it couldn't hurt to try -- but do it via a letter so they have the option of contacting you or not. Do NOT contact the girl without their permission, because they could perceive it as threatening.

DEAR ABBY: One of my co-workers, "Liz," lost her mother and an aunt to breast cancer. She had genetic testing done and found that she carries the breast cancer genes. As a precaution, she had a double mastectomy and a hysterectomy.

Since her surgery, she has been attending Relay For Life events and has been walking in the "survivor lap." There has been a huge backlash here in the office because people think Liz is misrepresenting herself as a cancer survivor. They are being cruel and calling her a liar, not so much to her face, but all over social media. I wonder if you think it is appropriate for her to call herself a survivor? -- CONFLICTED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CONFLICTED: Considering her family history and what genetic testing revealed about her chances of suffering the same fate as her mother and her aunt, what Liz did seems prudent to me. That her co-workers would trash her on social media is appalling. What horrible people they must be. I think the woman has suffered enough to walk a victory lap without being criticized for it -- don't you?

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 13 years. Of the two of us, I am the more organized. Before we married, she warned me that she kept a messy bedroom. Well, that has been confirmed!

Recently we had an argument about her clothes. After two weeks of her clean clothes lying on the floor and my asking her to pick them up, I took matters into my own hands. She caught me in the act and we both vented our frustrations. I explained that my environment affects my peace of mind. She called me "controlling."

I'm not sure how to compromise and resolve this. I want to keep a clean house. She wants me to leave her things alone. Any suggestions? -- READY TO THROW IN THE TOWEL

DEAR READY: Yes -- separate bedrooms.