DEAR ABBY: "Roger" and I have been seeing each other for two years. (We are both 50.) He is very handsome. We go to movies, ride our bikes together, work out at the gym and attend other events. He calls me every night, sends emails during the day -- even calls me when he's on a break from work.

He never asks me to pay for anything and sends me flowers on special occasions. He will kiss me goodnight, but he has never held my hand or been affectionate in any other way. People we see think we're married or seriously dating and have asked about it. He tells them we just "hang out" and that he's just a friend.

Roger says he's seeing only me, but he's on a dating website every night instant messaging younger women and talking to them for hours. I know it because one of my girlfriends is on the same site and checked it out for me.

My friend says Roger is a good companion and I should stay with it. But I'm attractive and accomplished. I think I deserve a fuller relationship with someone who is less platonic. Abby, what do you think? -- HANGING UP ON HANGING OUT

DEAR HANGING UP: Roger has made it no secret that he's comfortable with the relationship as it is and doesn't intend for it to progress. It appears the two of you are best friends. (Nowhere did you mention that you are in love with him.)

I do think that after all this time you should ask him why the relationship hasn't become sexual. The answer may be that Roger is impotent, asexual or he's just not interested in you that way. If that's OK with you, then continue what appears to be a pleasant relationship. However, if you need more -- and I think you do -- then it's time for you to move on.

DEAR ABBY: My mother won't stop nagging me about marriage. She insists that I "must" be married by the age of 22 and have kids by 25, which I think is inconceivable. Abby, I'm only 17. Marriage and boys are the last things on my mind.

I have told her that her "talks" make me uncomfortable and I don't plan on getting married anytime soon (if ever), but she won't let up. She keeps saying she knows she's right, and that when I'm 22 I'll thank her, which I know isn't going to happen. Other than this, she's great and we don't have any other problems.

She has been saying this a lot recently because I'm going off to college this year, and that's where she thinks I'll find a husband. How can I get through to her? -- VIRGIN TERRITORY

DEAR VIRGIN TERRITORY: It would be interesting to know why your mother feels this way. Could she have been born and raised in a culture in which early marriage and motherhood are expected of women?

With her mindset, I don't think you will "win" an argument with her over this. Be patient with her and when she raises the subject, point out that women of your generation are expected to complete their education and be able to support themselves financially before they marry in case the need arises later (i.e. divorce or widowhood). It's a fact. Women in the United States -- particularly college-educated women -- are now marrying and having children later than they did a generation ago.

DEAR ABBY: My son, "Chad," is being married in June to "Jenny," a girl his sister "Madison" introduced him to. Madison feels she should be a bridesmaid in their wedding because she introduced them. Madison had sex with Jenny's boyfriend "Axel" before she met Chad, got pregnant and had Axel's baby.

Jenny feels Madison screwed up her life and, even though she's about to marry my son, she doesn't want to reward Madison by asking her to be in the wedding. My daughter says if she's not in the wedding she won't attend, and won't allow her son (by Axel) to be the ring bearer, either.

I feel Chad and his fiancee should be able to have their wedding the way they want. I do not want to miss my only son's wedding because my daughter feels slighted. What should I do and say? -- COMPLICATED IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR COMPLICATED: While it's unfortunate that Jenny can't let bygones be bygones in the interest of future family harmony, you must not allow your daughter to dictate the plans for her brother's wedding. When the big day arrives, you should definitely attend and celebrate with Chad and Jenny. If Madison chooses not to attend as a guest, that's her decision, and you should not allow her to make it your problem.

DEAR ABBY: My mother married a man, "George," a few years ago. They met online, and he makes her happier than I've ever seen her. Our entire family adores George and is supportive of their marriage.

My husband and I had our first child, "Ella," this year. This has made Mom's dreams of becoming a grandma come true.

When I see George hold, play with, or just be in the same room with my daughter, I can't help but keep a really close eye on how he acts with her. He hasn't said or done anything for me not to trust him, but it makes me really uneasy, and I want to restrict his interaction with her.

It is my responsibility to protect my baby girl, and I'm extra-cautious because I was molested as a young girl. I can't discuss this with Mom because she doesn't know about what happened to me, and I know this would cause a huge fight between us.

How can I limit George's contact with Ella while still giving Mom the time she wants with her? Is this intuition or paranoia? -- CAUTIOUS IN KANSAS

DEAR CAUTIOUS: Why does your mother not know what happened to you as a child? Did you stay silent because you were afraid you wouldn't be believed? Because you wanted to protect her? Because your abuser was your father? You should have told her. It was her job to protect you.

I think the time has come for you to let her know what happened and how it has affected you. While I can appreciate your reason for not trusting men, not all men are molesters. If you would feel better keeping a close eye on your daughter's interactions with males until she's old enough to know what kind of touches are appropriate and which ones are not, that's your privilege. And if it leads to an argument with your mother, you will just have to stand by your decision.

DEAR ABBY: My stepson just turned 7. My husband was granted custody because the mother was declared unfit due to her drug abuse. She was granted supervised visits until she can pass two consecutive drug tests.

Over the last year and a half, her visits have become few and far between. My husband and I think it would be a good idea for "Tony" to start seeing a therapist again. He doesn't talk about his mother often, and I'm worried he may be bottling up a lot of his feelings.

Tony is starting to ask more questions about his mom -- like why he can't stay the night with her, why he can't live with her, and why he hasn't seen her much lately. I try not to say anything negative about her.

Is it time to explain the situation to him? He is still so young, and I don't know how to explain things in a way he would understand. If you were me, what would you do? -- STEPMOM IN ALABAMA

DEAR STEPMOM: You and your husband are wise to want to prevent problems before they happen. If I were in your situation, I would talk to Tony's therapist, explain what's going on, and ask for pointers regarding his questions and his behavior.

My instinct would be to tell the boy that his mother doesn't see him because she is sick. It's the truth. When he's older, he will need to know that there may be an inherited predisposition to addiction in his family -- but for now that can wait. Definitely contact the therapist if you think he/she was a good one.

DEAR ABBY: I used to be best friends with this girl I met in kindergarten. Over the years we became like sisters and did everything together. We played Barbies, went on adventures, shopping, saw movies and had sleepovers. As we grew older, we began trusting each other with our lives. I could tell her anything and everything, and I was there for her whenever she needed support or a shoulder to cry on.

However, now that we are older, we have slowly noticed small differences in our lives. She became focused on her studies and art. I joined the cheerleading squad and became interested in meeting new people. Our lives have diverged, and now it's like we have become complete strangers.

I want our friendship to go back to the way it was. What can I say or do to show her I miss the old her? -- CONFUSED EX-FRIEND

DEAR CONFUSED: As people mature, it is not uncommon for their interests to diverge. This is normal, and it may be what has happened with you and your longtime friend. If you miss the closeness you once had, tell her so. But do not expect it to magically return your relationship to what it was.

You are both sharing another adventure now -- exploring the interests and relationships you are developing as adults. It's possible that in the future your paths will converge again. When people are true friends, their ability to communicate on a meaningful level can last forever despite intervals when they are not in contact.