DEAR ABBY: I am dreading an upcoming trip that includes a visit to my husband's mother, "Harriet." She is prone to "accidents" when I visit, and I always end up getting hurt. Harriet's "oops" moments usually involve my toes and feet, although the last time I was there she managed to strike my face.

I have taken the precaution of looking up the phone number of the police department in her city, just in case she hits me again. Is there a way to keep her at arm's length so she can't get close enough to punch me? In the 20-plus years I have known Harriet, she has always been a bully. She strikes out at me because I stood up to her. -- APPREHENSIVE IN LOUISIANA

DEAR APPREHENSIVE: Because this has gone on for 20 years, I'm inclined to agree with your suspicion that these "mishaps" haven't been accidental. An effective way to prevent further injury would be to avoid being in the same town with Harriet. The next time your husband decides to visit her, take a detour and let him deal with his mother. She sounds like a handful.

DEAR ABBY: A 30-year-old relative of mine has developed a "germ phobia." She constantly applies hand sanitizer and avoids anyone who exhibits any kind of symptoms. She refused to visit me when I was in the hospital because she thought she might catch something. She was not always like this.

I love her dearly and have no idea what has caused the problem. Is there anything I can do to get her to give up some of the precautions she's taking -- or does she need professional help? -- WORRIED RELATIVE IN TAMPA, FLA.

DEAR WORRIED RELATIVE: Because you don't know what has caused her health concerns, I recommend you ASK her. Hand sanitizers are popular because they claim to kill 99 percent of germs and decrease bacteria on the skin. Every time someone opens the door to a public building or presses an elevator button it's as though that person has shaken hands with everyone who has been there before, so using hand sanitizer seems like good sense to me.

As to your relative not visiting you while you were hospitalized, the reason doctors are reducing the length of hospital stays and are performing so many outpatient procedures is to minimize the germs that patients are exposed to in the hospital.

DEAR ABBY: I just think that as a child, I have too many responsibilities to take care of. My mother thinks I am stubborn and not able to take care of myself. What do you think? -- HELENA, AGE 9

DEAR HELENA: I think you have a good mother. The way to teach children responsibility is to place some on their shoulders. If you learn the lessons of independence your mother is trying to teach you, with time these chores will become easier and less overwhelming. And you will thank her for them later when you're older.

DEAR ABBY: I recently decided that I wanted to help an infertile couple conceive by becoming an egg donor. I'm well-educated and have a job I love. I understand the commitment both time-wise and emotionally. I am now part of a registry, and I could be selected for a donation at any time.

Like other young women, I am dating. However, I am conflicted about whether to tell my dates about my involvement with egg donation and if so, how. I understand that this is extremely personal, but at the same time I could have genetic offspring out there. Can you advise? -- HELPING OUT IN BATON ROUGE

DEAR HELPING OUT: I do not think it would be appropriate to share this information with any man you are seeing casually. However, if a relationship becomes serious, you should discuss it. A way to start the conversation would be to say, "It's said that the most meaningful gift a person can give is a gift of self. Well, I have taken it literally."

DEAR ABBY: My 22-year-old daughter, a recent college graduate, is back living at home. She has been bringing her boyfriends home and having sex in her room. I have a real problem with it. There are younger children living here. My husband is not aware of what goes on behind her closed doors at night. How should I handle this? -- STILL UNDER MY ROOF

DEAR STILL: If you prefer not to involve your husband in this, have a private chat with your daughter and tell her you are not comfortable with her entertaining her boyfriends in your home in the manner you have described. Tell her that if she wants to have sex, she should do it elsewhere -- but not under your roof with younger children nearby. Because it's your home, your rules should apply.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend of two years was offered the opportunity to travel to Nepal for a month-long stay. Leading up to the trip I tried not to be jealous, but I did say some childish things like, "You're leaving me for a mountain?" However, before she left, I told her I knew it was a great opportunity and that she should enjoy herself.

She emailed me a couple of nights ago about how she and two of her male guides went to a bar together where she got drunk. They plan on going to the club again later during the trip.

I trust my girlfriend, but I can't help but worry that she may be taken advantage of. I didn't mention my concerns and even encouraged her to go and have fun. But am I wrong to feel worried? Am I being insecure? -- LEFT AT HOME IN FLORIDA

DEAR LEFT AT HOME: You're not wrong to feel worried. Under the circumstances, it's only normal. Does your girlfriend drink at home? And if she does, how does it affect her? At high altitudes the effects of alcohol can be magnified.

It's one thing to be open-minded and quite another to be so open-minded your brains fall out. Rather than encourage her, you should have warned her to be careful because what she did was risky. As for feeling insecure, at this point you're entitled to feel that way.

DEAR ABBY: We recently bought a new home and have discovered that our elderly neighbors are caring for their grandson's dog. The dog lives in a 3-by-6-foot area right next to our patio. The poor animal receives little attention and is rarely cleaned up after. As a consequence, our patio reeks of dog feces, and we are overwhelmed by flies.

I feel bad for the couple, and I resent the grandson for allowing his dog to be neglected and for failing to have any consideration for the stench that makes our patio off-limits to us. How can I politely ask my new neighbors to clean up after their dog so we can enjoy our new home without offending them or creating a bad neighbor situation? -- "SHOO FLY" IN BAKERSFIELD, CALIF.

DEAR SHOO FLY: If your neighbors are unable to properly care for their grandson's dog, they shouldn't have it. A dog is a responsibility -- the animal needs feeding, exercise, social contact and to be cleaned up after. To shirk that responsibility is cruel.

It would not be offensive to inform these neighbors that the odor and flies from their dog run are so overwhelming that they prevent you from enjoying your patio. Speak up, or they'll think you haven't noticed. If this continues, call animal control or a pet rescue group.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a rocky relationship for 10 months, and I'm not sure how you get out. I have tried multiple times to leave, but every time I tell her, she begs me not to, says horrible things and threatens to kill herself. She says she'll never be happy again, that I "always do this" and it hurts her so much. It makes me feel so bad I just give in and give her what she wants.

She doesn't trust me. I have to give her all of my passwords and she checks my phone daily. She has to know everything I'm doing, and if I don't tell her, look out! The next world war is going to happen. I have told her many times that if she can't trust me, there's no way we can be together because it will make a miserable life for both of us.

Her constant worrying whether I'm going to leave her is starting to get to me. I really can't take this anymore. I have considered some extreme things to get out because I'm so unhappy, and I know she is, too. I have tried everything. Please help me. -- STUCK IN A NIGHTMARE

DEAR STUCK: It is time you realize that you can't fix what's wrong with this woman. Her insecurities are a bottomless pit. You have described a hostage relationship, not a loving one.

So pack your things and get out of there NOW. If she threatens suicide and you know how to contact her family, alert them after you have gone. But do not pause, do not explain and do not look back. Your safety and your sanity depend upon it.