DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter from "Expecting in Canada" (Sept. 8) and am disappointed in her daughters' reaction to her pregnancy, as were you.

My own mother announced she was pregnant with my baby brother when she was 42 and my sister and I were in college. Now, 46 years later, I can say he is one of the best things that ever happened to our family. He took great care of both my parents as they grew older and was with them when each passed away. My sister and I are very close to him, even though we nicknamed him "the crown prince" and teased him because that's how my parents treated him.

I hope "Expecting's" daughters will eventually embrace this great gift. If they don't, they may miss out on a wonderful experience and a lot of love. -- ELDER SISTER OF THE CROWN PRINCE

DEAR ELDER SISTER: Thank you for your letter. Readers wrote to share their personal experiences as you did. Most agreed that having a child with older parents and siblings can be a life-changing event. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I was a surprise baby. My birth mother was 40 and my birth father was 67. My sisters were 15 and 16. The older one was not happy; the younger one loved having a baby sister.

As fate would have it, my mother died when I was 7 years old. My father was too old to care for a child, so my older sister, the one who hadn't been thrilled with my arrival, and her husband became my "parents." Not every day was perfect, but my life was very blessed.

My sister, whom I called Momma, became ill in her 60s, and my brother-in-law, whom I called Daddy for the rest of his life, also had health problems. I became their "legs" for many errands. When Daddy died I became Momma's primary caregiver.

I would like those two girls to know that the little "intruder" may just be the one who takes care of them someday. I'm shocked that the parents would even entertain the idea of giving the baby away. -- JUDY IN LOUISIANA

DEAR ABBY: When I was a junior in high school, my mother told me she was pregnant. I was disgusted and angry, and I told her so. As I reflect back on it, I'm mortified that I could be so cruel. After giving it more thought, I realized I was annoyed to think my parents were sexual beings.

Teenagers that age are just coming to terms with their own sexuality. They can also be somewhat selfish and self-absorbed. While it may be a family matter to some extent, it really is between the mother and father.

My little brother is very close to me now and, more important, close to my children, who are nearer in age to him. I hope that mother won't let the temporary opinion of the daughters ruin a beautiful experience of a shared love. -- CHERYL IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ABBY: "Expecting" should ask her daughters to be a part of the baby's life, such as going to doctor's appointments, picking out clothes, decorating the room, giving name suggestions and having them participate in a baby shower. -- STEPHANIE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ABBY: When my mother was 42, my baby brother was born. I was 17 when I became his nanny and learned how to take care of a baby. It was an experience that made me more mature. After I married, I was never able to have my own children.

Please don't listen to your daughters. I know what it's like. Perhaps they are jealous that they have to share their parents. My mom and dad were the oldest parents at PTA meetings, graduations, etc., but they were proud of my younger brother. Many times people thought they were the grandparents. We shared many laughs during those years. -- EILEEN IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married seven years and have two beautiful children. Overall, the time we have been together has been wonderful, although we do sometimes argue.

On more than one occasion, my husband has shared his concern that I am cheating on him. I have never been unfaithful, nor have I ever given him any reason to think I would be. He's worried because he knows my father was unfaithful to my mother many years ago. We both learned about it because my mother shared it while discussing my brother and his wife.

Having had no prior knowledge of this period in my parents' lives, I was shocked. I didn't grow up around it and was never taught that cheating is OK. How can I get my husband to stop putting me in the same category as my father?

He says he read that cheating is hereditary so I'm bound to do it. He throws the same accusation at me any time he gets upset with me. It's starting to affect my hope for our future because I don't think he will ever trust that I love him and don't plan to commit adultery. -- NOT LIKE DEAR OLD DAD

DEAR NOT LIKE DEAR OLD DAD: I don't know where your husband "read" that adultery is hereditary, but it's time you asked to see the source of his misinformation because it's wrong. You are not responsible for your father's behavior, and for your husband to imply that because your father strayed you will is, frankly, insulting.

If you are accused of infidelity any time there's a disagreement, you two aren't getting to the root of what's really wrong in your marriage, and it's time to get professional marriage counseling.

DEAR ABBY: We just hosted the family for our annual post-Christmas get-together. My brother-in-law's girlfriend of many years was on her cellphone during the cocktail hour, the entire dessert course and the gift exchange. When I mentioned to my husband how rude she was, he told me she had been checking football scores and cheering/commenting while my daughter was playing the violin song her ensemble had played for the holiday concert.

I never answer my phone when I'm entertaining guests because they are where my attention should be. My daughters have been taught that it's rude to be on the phone during dinner and when guests are over.

How can I nip this in the bud without causing a rift with my brother-in-law, whom I love dearly? If "Pseudo Auntie" does not want to socialize with the people she has been invited to be with, she should stay home. -- OFFENDED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR OFFENDED: I agree with you that "Pseudo Auntie's" behavior was rude, and I don't blame you for feeling upset about it. I do not think that it should cause a rift if you were to tell your brother-in-law and his girlfriend that using her cellphone during the dinner you worked so hard to prepare, and during your daughter's violin recital, caused hurt feelings. And tell them that in the future you would like her to leave her phone elsewhere during family gatherings in your home.

DEAR ABBY: I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl three months ago. I had breastfed my 15-year-old, so it was natural for me to do the same with my new daughter. The problem is my husband, "Jerry," does not support me breastfeeding in public.

I'm somewhat large-chested, so I always cover up for fear of offending strangers. The last time we went shopping and the baby got hungry, when I attempted to feed her in a dressing room, Jerry got so upset he stormed out of the store and took the baby bag and stroller with him.

I had a receiving blanket tucked into my tank top and had covered my breast so no one would see anything. I asked him what the problem was, and he said just because I thought it was OK didn't mean some kid trying on clothes would think so. He told me I should breastfeed in the car or a bathroom. (Jerry doesn't eat in restrooms, so why should our baby girl?)

I don't plan to stop breastfeeding or going for outings with my baby girl, so how do I approach the situation without a fight? -- TRYING TO MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND

DEAR TRYING: How about this: Go without Jerry. Your husband is behind the times. Breastfeeding is nothing to be ashamed of, and is promoted by pediatricians as one of the best ways of keeping a baby healthy. There is nothing shameful about this normal function, and you shouldn't be banished to a car in a parking lot or a public bathroom in order to carry it out. The dressing room should have offered sufficient privacy.

Jerry should stop worrying about other kids and concentrate on his own. If a parent had felt her child needed to be protected from the sight of a mother nursing her baby, she would have been perfectly free to shield the child's eyes and usher him or her from the dressing room. If you are unable to get through to Jerry, or your husband cannot grasp this concept, your child's doctor should explain it to him in simple English.

DEAR ABBY: How does one "break up" with a hairdresser? I'm not unhappy with "Flossie," my current one, but I'd like to try someone else for a change of pace.

I know people of both sexes who have stayed with a hairstylist they are unhappy with because they can't bring themselves to break up, so I know I'm not alone with this dilemma. I'd love to hear from hairdressers how they would prefer this be handled. Do they take it personally? -- TRENDSETTER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TRENDSETTER: Some do take it personally, I'm sure. If you have a personal as well as a business relationship with Flossie, she may feel hurt that you're leaving. However, it is not a sin to want to try someone else. It happens all the time in that business.

My advice is to call Flossie in advance and let her know you won't be coming so she can schedule someone else in that time slot. Then try the other stylist. That way, if you don't like that stylist's work, you can return to Flossie with no hard feelings.