DEAR ABBY: My 15-year old daughter, "Jenny," has a best friend, "Carly," she stays with when we're out of town. My husband and I are planning a three-day trip at the end of the month. Jenny has already asked Carly if she can stay, and of course, the answer was yes.
This morning Jenny got an invitation to another friend's birthday party the Saturday of the weekend we'll be away. Although the birthday girl knows Carly, Carly was not invited. I told Jenny it would be very rude for her to leave Carly's house to attend a sleepover party that her friend wasn't invited to. My husband agrees, but won't verbally back me up. He says, "I don't want to get in the middle."
I'm trying to teach my daughter to do the right thing, even if it's hard. She's angry with me now. Any advice? -- PERPLEXED IN PHOENIX
DEAR PERPLEXED: Ask Jenny how she would feel if she had agreed to let Carly stay with her while her parents were out of town, and Carly left to attend a sleepover birthday party from which Jenny had been excluded. I'll bet she'd feel as left out and hurt as Carly would.
The plans have been made and they shouldn't be changed. However, depending upon how important it is to the birthday girl to have your daughter there, she might be willing to extend an invitation to Carly if the situation was explained to her. Suggest Jenny give it a try.
P.S. The lesson you are trying to teach your daughter is important, so stick to your guns. I'm sorry your husband doesn't step up to the plate, instead of making you the bad guy. He seems to have forgotten that parenting is supposed to be a team sport.