DEAR ABBY: I'm a gay man in my late 40s who has worked for 10 years in the public school system with young adults and kids with special needs. I have done everything from changing preschoolers' diapers, to tutoring, travel training and teaching life skills to older children. In the process, I have encountered my share of cooperation, defiance, failure and success.

When speaking with family, friends or strangers about their parenting, I sometimes share my experiences. This is usually accepted and even encouraged, but occasionally I am put in my place by a parent who feels I must be told that what I've done "isn't the same as being a parent." Some even go so far as to imply that I should remain silent, as I have nothing of a parenting nature to offer.

I would think that making everyone feel included would be more important than official parent status, especially when discussing similar experiences. So what's the best way to handle this? I have no kids of my own; my students are all I have to share stories about. Should I just dummy up? -- SORT OF CHILDLESS IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR SORT OF CHILDLESS: No, but recognize that whatever you offered clearly made someone defensive. When people are in that mode, they aren't receptive to your opinion.

Remember the phrase "casting pearls before swine"? It means offering something valuable to those who don't understand that it's precious. You and I, and most parents, understand that you are rich in experience. Don't let the others get under your skin.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Richard," is 15 years my senior, and the more he is involved in my life, the more overprotective he is becoming. Some of his concerns are legitimate, but it seems like he considers me more like a child or "little woman" than his equal partner.

He isn't comfortable with me walking two blocks from my house to a friend's house at night without an escort. I recently obtained my motorcycle license, and he doesn't want me riding at night. The latest issue is that he doesn't want me to walk him to his car because he would "rather me be locked safely in the house."

I think I'm capable enough to cross my front lawn at night without being attacked. How do I differentiate between legitimate concern and overprotective paranoia? -- OVERPROTECTED

DEAR OVERPROTECTED: If your neighborhood is safe, then this may be a question of how your boyfriend is presenting his concerns to you. If he is suggesting that he would prefer you be more cautious after dark, that's one thing. However, if he's insisting, then it's something else, and it could be a tip-off that he's not only "parental," but controlling.

DEAR READERS: It's 2016! A new year has arrived, bringing with it our chance for a new beginning.

Today is the day we have an opportunity to discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones, and with that in mind, I will share Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's Resolutions -- which were adapted by my late mother, Pauline Phillips, from the original credo of Al-Anon:

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.

Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully -- if only just for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, I would like to share an item that was sent to me by L.J. Bhatia, a reader from New Delhi, India:

DEAR ABBY: This year, no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say, "Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bondages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature."

The prayer of St. Francis (of which there are several versions) contains a powerful message:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

To be understood, as to understand;

To be loved, as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

And so, Dear Readers, may this new year bring with it good health, peace and joy to all of you. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: A friend I really like has been extremely helpful baby-sitting my 4-month-old son every once in a while. The problem is, she informed me that she rubs his gums and lets him chew on her fingers. I find this gross and strange. Clean fingers or not, I'd prefer she not do this. She only has him a couple of hours at a time, and he has teething toys.

Am I overreacting? If not, how do I politely inform my friend that I'd rather she not put her fingers in my baby's mouth? I can't think of a way to explain it that wouldn't offend her. -- OFF LIMITS IN IDAHO

DEAR OFF LIMITS: What your friend is doing is neither gross nor strange. She was probably trying to soothe your teething baby who was showing signs of discomfort. Her fingers may have been more comfortable to chew on than the hard toy. However, you are the parent and if you prefer no more fingers in your baby's mouth, you should tell that to your friend and she shouldn't take offense.

DEAR ABBY: I often have thought about cooking food and taking it to neighbors when they experience a death in the family or a new baby, etc. I know when my parents passed away, kind relatives and neighbors brought us so much food we didn't know what to do with it all. But it was greatly appreciated and helped us more than they could ever know.

My problem is I tend to overthink this and then not follow through. (What if they don't eat meat? What if they're on special diets? What if they already have a lot of food or are allergic to something?) How can I offer something useful without knowing their eating habits? I have considered giving a restaurant gift card, but that doesn't seem as personal.

It seems years ago people never put so much thought into making a dish and taking it to the neighbors. Can you give me some insight? -- WANTS TO HELP IN MICHIGAN

DEAR WANTS TO HELP: I don't think you are overthinking at all. The questions in your mind are intelligent ones. That's why you should pick up the phone and tell the families that you intend to bring them a gift of food, but before you do, you would like to know if they have any dietary restrictions. (Perhaps they already have a freezer full of cakes, pies and cookies and would enjoy something more solid -- like a casserole?) I am sure your thoughtfulness would be appreciated if you called to offer your condolences and asked what they could use.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY READERS: A word to the wise: If you plan to toast the New Year tonight, please appoint a designated driver. And on this night especially, designated drivers should remember to drive defensively. To one and all, a happy, healthy New Year! -- LOVE, ABBY