DEAR ABBY: I am 16 and my old friend from grammar school is getting married next month. I just received a wedding invitation in the mail. However, my mother does not approve of her getting married at such a young age (she's 18) and has forbidden me to go or even talk to her.

I haven't seen this friend in more than two years because she moved away and has only recently returned. I want to attend her wedding. How can I go about convincing my mom to let me go? -- INVITED IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR INVITED: At 18, the bride-to-be is an adult, and while marriage at such a young age isn't advisable for many reasons, there's nothing immoral about it.

I'm sorry you didn't mention what might have happened in your friend's life in the last two years, because it may be the reason your mother is worried about your associating with her. Your mom may want to protect you, but she's going about it in the wrong way. You could learn a lot about life by simply observing what happens to your friend after she has reached the altar.

DEAR ABBY: My brother, my only sibling, hasn't contacted me in 14 years. I have tried to figure out why. I wasn't mean to him, and we didn't fight. My cousin told me it's because I called him incessantly years ago. I don't recall having done such a thing.

I really miss and care about him. I live in a group home and wonder if he's ashamed of me. He has accomplished more job-wise than I have.

I want to move on with my life, but I continue to fixate on why he seems to hate me. I could use your opinion. What advice do you have for me? -- HIS SISTER IN MARYLAND

DEAR SISTER: What a sad situation. Not knowing your brother, I can't guess his reason for distancing himself. That's why I'm advising you to write him a letter. Tell him how you feel, that you miss and care about him and would like to know why he hasn't contacted you during all this time.

He may or may not respond. But if he doesn't, please understand that his silence has less to do with you or your living situation than it does about him and his inability to empathize. You have every right to live your life as fully and enjoyably as possible, and whatever happens, I hope you will do that.

DEAR ABBY: I was out this morning for my daily run (facing toward traffic) and a very long funeral procession drove by on the other side of the road. The cars pulled over to the curb to let it pass. I continued to run, but now I feel guilty. Should I have stopped for the procession? -- UNSURE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR UNSURE: No rule of etiquette requires it. However, it would have been a gesture of respect and sympathy to have stopped running (and removed your cap if you were wearing one) until the procession had passed by.

DEAR ABBY: After a marriage of many years, I have come to realize ours has become simply one of convenience. My husband is a negative and controlling person who gripes about everything and anything. He has developed no friendships or interests of his own, and I have to battle with him to even have a day to myself.

How many other women are like me -- stuck in loveless marriages without the resources to live on our own (at least in the lifestyle we are accustomed to)? Any advice for me? -- IN LIMBO OUT WEST

DEAR IN LIMBO: If my mail is any indication, you have lots of company in your boat. Many women stay because they are afraid to live alone or see nothing better on the horizon. No third party can or should answer this question for you.

Make a list of the pros and cons of your marriage, tally them up and weigh the cons against how you feel living the life you are living now. A licensed counselor may be able to steer you in the right direction -- which may entail marriage counseling and/or consulting a lawyer or your CPA about what other options you may have.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a busy sixth-grade girl who has played piano for seven years. But my busy schedule gets in the way of piano because I have to prep for competitions. I love the piano, but I still need to keep up with my school schedule.

If I tell my grandma I want to quit piano, she'll be disappointed. I already quit violin in orchestra. So this means my music life will be over. Should I still do it or not? -- STRESSED OUT MUSICIAN

DEAR MUSICIAN: Unless your music causes your grades to drop, continue the piano for as long as you can. There may come a time when other things must take precedence, but you never can tell how beneficial your musical education may be when you're an adult.

You're an intelligent young woman, so let me share a true story with you: A man here in Los Angeles studied classical piano for many years. He had talent, but didn't consider himself good enough to make it his career. He married, went to law school, passed the bar -- and wound up becoming one of the most successful lawyers in town representing musicians and other entertainers.

You never can tell where life may lead, so the more talents you nourish, the wider your options will be.

DEAR ABBY: My husband demands we give our first child the name "Junior" as his legal first name, supposedly to honor the baby's paternal grandpa, who is also called Junior.

I am vehemently opposed to it because Junior is a title, not a name, and also because Grandpa is a notorious drunk, criminal and adulterer. I am open to any other name my husband may want, but he won't budge. Who should win out? -- DUE SOON IN SYRACUSE

DEAR DUE SOON: You should! Naming a child after someone is, indeed, supposed to be an honor, and from your description, your father-in-law isn't someone who deserves one.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 19 and played bass in a rock band, I fell in love with a guy I'll call "Brian." He was three years older and also a musician. We had the best times together -- we were young and wild without a care in the world.

But the years rolled on and we got older. After six years together, I got pregnant. I thought Brian would be thrilled, but he wasn't. It changed how I felt about him. I was heartbroken and lost respect for him.

I grew up fast, and put our son, "Ricky," first. Brian, on the other hand, has refused to give up his rock 'n' roll lifestyle. He shows up to see Ricky two or three times a month, but doesn't even look at him. I can't stand the way he ignores our son. Brian says I can't alter who and how he is. I say, if we mattered to him, he would change on his own. This leads to arguments.

Which is worse -- having my son grow up with an absent father who's not "present" even when he's here? Or Ricky seeing us fight all the time, but leaving the option for Brian to be a part of his life? Or should I get my ex out of our lives for good, and risk resentment from Ricky because I moved on with our lives? -- FULLY FORMED ADULT IN L.A.

DEAR FULLY FORMED: If Brian didn't care about Ricky, he wouldn't show up two or three times a month. What strikes me as sad, however, is that he apparently doesn't know how to relate to his son.

Rather than exclude him entirely, stop the arguing and suggest that he and Ricky would both get more out of the visitations if he enrolled in a parenting class for fathers. Tell him that for the sake of Ricky's emotional well-being, you would be glad to help facilitate it any way you can, including helping him to research some of them online.

DEAR ABBY: My 15-year-old son, "Todd," has started seeing a girl he goes to school with. "Winona" seems to be a nice girl from a good family. However, my son confided that her parents (mostly the mom) have started asking him all sorts of questions like, "I thought you were a good student. Why aren't you on the honor roll?" "Do you keep your room clean?" "Would you change for our daughter?"

Todd is a good kid and a good student (A's and B's mostly.) He has strong morals, lots of friends and is a typical teen. He isn't asking for that girl's hand in marriage! It's their first "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship. They just like each other.

Is the mom out of line, or am I being too sensitive? -- DUMBFOUNDED DAD IN ILLINOIS

DEAR DAD: Because this is her daughter's first boyfriend, the mother may ask these questions because she's protective, and it's her way of trying to get to know your son better. Please try not to take what's happening so seriously, because she'd probably ask the same questions if Prince Harry were seeing her precious daughter. That's how some mothers are -- until enough boys become so uncomfortable that they disappear and the daughter finds it so embarrassing she puts a stop to it.