DEAR ABBY: While I was nine months pregnant with my first child, I asked my husband what he would say if I had any problem during my delivery and he was asked to choose between me or the baby. His answer was, "Of course I'd pick the baby because you can never replace the baby." His answer broke my heart. Four days later, my water broke at 36 weeks, and I thank God for giving me a healthy little boy.
While in labor, I was terrified because I had some complications with my health at the beginning of my pregnancy. I can't get it out of my head now, because I feel like my husband doesn't love me. I have tried to talk to him about how it hurt me, but his answer is that this is his belief and I can't change that. Was I wrong for asking him? -- MOTHER IN AMARILLO, TEXAS
DEAR MOTHER: I don't think so. You were asking for his reassurance, and I'm sorry you didn't get it. If a child is delivered in a Catholic hospital, the policy is to save the child if a choice must be made. It appears this is also your husband's belief.
My advice is, dry your tears and remember that what he implied about wives being replaceable can also be said about husbands. Perhaps it's time to give serious thought to drawing up a health care directive so that, in the event you should become unable to make decisions for yourself in the future, your wishes are clearly known.