DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a great relationship. We work in the same school system. He's an administrator; I am a counselor.

We sometimes go to joint meetings, but when we do, he always acts awkward, like he doesn't even know me. I understand we have to behave professionally, but not as if we don't know each other. Recently, we were leaving a meeting and no one was around. I was going to give him a peck on the lips to say goodbye, and he turned away as if he wanted nothing to do with me.

What is the proper etiquette when spouses work together? -- MORE THAN A CO-WORKER IN GEORGIA

DEAR MORE: Demonstrations of physical affection are not appropriate in a workplace situation if other people are present. You say you and your husband have a "great" relationship, so I'm advising you to discuss this with him and tell him how it made you feel.

Because no one was around, there should have been no harm in a simple "peck" goodbye. Personally, I think he owes you an apology. What he did wasn't nice.

DEAR ABBY: My calico cat, Rosie, seems to be fixated on my next-door neighbor Ron. Every morning Rosie grooms herself for an hour, then jumps in the window to watch for Ron to go for his morning run. She sits there until Ron comes out of his house. He exercises a lot and has kept himself in shape, while I admit I have let myself go. As soon as she sees him, Rosie starts purring.

I have to say that I resent this. I provide her with room and board and brush her regularly, but while I'm doing it, she watches the window intently and then bolts to her lookout post if Ron appears. I bought new window treatments, which she scratched her way through, damaging the blinds and shades. Filling her food dish strategically before Ron goes out doesn't deter her.

I love my cat, but I feel she is being unfaithful. What should I do?

P.S. I'm happily married (my wife thinks I'm crazy) and Rosie has been fixed. -- LARRY IN DELAWARE

DEAR LARRY: What a sad situation. Few things are more painful than feeling rejected by a love object. You didn't mention how sedentary you are, but it's possible that Rosie watches Ron because he is a moving object. Consider joining Ron on his runs and you may find Rosie is watching you, too. However, if that doesn't work, you may have to share the affections of your cat. Accept it.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I host many holidays, Thanksgiving, Passover, etc. Invariably, everyone gathers in the family room and several people put their legs up on the ottoman with their shoes on. It drives me crazy! I view it as no different than walking on someone's furniture.

My wife thinks I should say something. I actually have done that in the past, but not for years. When I did, it made me look like the bad guy. Is this a weird fetish of mine or am I right? -- PAUL IN BUFFALO GROVE, ILL.

DEAR PAUL: If you prefer that your guests not put their feet on your furniture with their shoes on, speak up and say so. Doing that doesn't make you a bad guy or a fetishist. It's your home, your preference, and it isn't rude to address something that bothers you, especially since it's something that you have mentioned before.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 22 and my mom is probably my best friend. She's from Lebanon and grew up during a time of war. Her culture taught her to sacrifice -- to put the needs of others before her own. She has a good job and earns an excellent salary.

My father is retired. Their marriage is not a good one, and Mom is in sort of a rut. She dresses sloppy and buys only "bargains." Her hair is always a mess. Every time we go shopping, it's a fight because I want her to buy the nice clothes she can afford. I want her to be presentable. But she's stubborn and always makes an excuse for why she "doesn't need them" or "can't get them." How should I handle this situation? -- CARING DAUGHTER IN ENCINO, CALIF.

DEAR CARING DAUGHTER: Where is the money your mother earns going? Is she saving or investing it? Does she give it to your father? She may present herself the way she does because she's depressed about her marriage or something else. Before trying again to give your mother an image reboot, talk with her. Tell her you love her, are concerned about her, and ask why she doesn't take better care of herself. Then listen. Your mother may come from another culture, but she has much to teach you.

DEAR ABBY: Up to this point in my academic career, I have always been known for being a smart, diligent student. I graduated from high school with academic accolades and one of the highest GPAs in the graduating class.

However, since starting college this semester, I have become apathetic toward school, as if to say, "I have worked this hard already; why bother working anymore?" Because of this, I'm failing most of my classes -- as only a freshman, mind you. Although I recognize my attitude is terrible, I haven't been able to get rid of it and get to work again.

I'm confused about where this apathy came from, and I don't want it to get any worse. Would you have any ideas as to why I might feel this way, and possible suggestions about how to get myself back on track? -- UNMOTIVATED IN MARYLAND

DEAR UNMOTIVATED: Not knowing you and your circumstances, I can't be sure why you're feeling the way you do. That's why I'm advising you to head for the student counseling center right away, and talk to someone about these feelings of "apathy." You may be depressed, or need a break from your studies before you can go full speed ahead. The college environment can be overwhelming because it is so different from what you have been used to. But you won't know what is causing this unless you ask.

DEAR ABBY: My sister "Adele" chose to adopt a baby boy when she was in her late 50s. She isn't married. Before the adoption, she asked me if something happened to her, would I take care of the child. I had already raised my children and was going through a divorce, so I said, "No. I'm too old and I want to enjoy my future retirement." She got mad.

Adele is now approaching 70 with a high-maintenance 12-year-old son she has signed up for every extracurricular activity under the sun. I have seen him twice since the adoption. If and when the question comes up again, how do I handle it? -- AUNT IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR AUNT: After you refused her request, your sister probably asked someone else -- someone more involved in her and her son's daily lives -- to step in. However, if she didn't, then in the event of her death or a serious illness that renders her unable to parent her son, you may have to decide what you are prepared to do.

Cross your fingers and hope she remains healthy until her boy reaches adulthood. Then consider this: Your nephew is no longer a little boy. In six years he will be 18. It's not as if you would be changing diapers and arranging for day care. It shouldn't ruin your retirement to take him in if he has no one else. Remember the Golden Rule.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 25-year-old who has been dating a great guy for a year. The relationship is everything I have dreamed of -- and more. My only concern is that my friends don't seem to care much for him. That doesn't bother me, but what does bother me is they are distancing themselves from me now.

I'm no longer invited to gatherings. My "best friend" doesn't keep in touch anymore, and I have given up on trying to reach out every time. If I do manage to talk to her, she makes an excuse to get off the phone as quickly as possible.

I have never done this to any of my friends, regardless of whom they were dating or what life threw at them. Is this a normal part of life? Should I reconsider my friendships? -- BOTHERED IN BOSTON

DEAR BOTHERED: Relationships sometimes ebb and flow. Before "reconsidering" these friendships, have a frank and honest chat with these women about why they don't like your boyfriend. That your BFF would treat you the way she has is puzzling, unless she's jealous because you spend so much time with your boyfriend or he has offended her in some way.

On a different note, does this man have friends of his own? Do the two of you socialize with other couples? Having been together for a year, are you making new friends together? If the answer to these questions is yes, then it may, indeed, be time to move on from this tribe of girlfriends.