DEAR ABBY: I am a 13-year-old girl. For the past few years I have been depressed to the point where I have considered cutting myself. I also struggle with anxiety and avoid social situations in order not to experience it.

Mom only knows about my anxiety, but I have been sugarcoating it when I talk to her because I don't want her to worry. Abby, we don't have insurance and are already very poor, so I don't want to burden my family with my problems, which I know would cost a lot of money to treat. What do you suggest I do? -- NEEDS HELP IN MISSOURI

DEAR NEEDS HELP: Because you are afraid to worry your mother, discuss what's going on with a counselor at your school. Please don't wait to do it. That person may have the ability to see you get the professional help you need. It may not be too much for your mother to afford and may even be free.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 20-year-old college student who has never been in a relationship. I try to be as much of an extrovert as possible, but it's hard for me.

I have romantic feelings for a guy I have known for two years. When we see each other in class, we hug and talk a little. I'm having trouble telling him how I feel because, as I've learned from past experience, he may not feel the same.

I don't want to be a big baby about this, but I have a fear of rejection. I have experienced it numerous times. I know it's a part of life, but I don't know if I can take it again. Please tell me what to do about this guy. I can't stop thinking about him. -- HOPELESS ROMANTIC

DEAR HOPELESS ROMANTIC: Before declaring your feelings, get to know a little more about your classmate, like whether he's romantically involved with someone else. A way to do that would be to suggest having coffee after class or helping each other study for an exam. Neither of those approaches would be "risky." If he agrees, you will have a better chance of gauging whether he's attracted to you, too. Because he hugs you when he sees you, it's safe to assume he is not repelled.

Let me let you in on a little secret: I don't know anyone who, having experienced rejection, has found it pleasurable. Some of the most successful people I know have encountered rejection more than once, but they didn't let it stop them. Because your fear is preventing you from reaching out, talk about it with a psychologist at the student health center. If you do, it may help you feel more confident in putting yourself out there.

DEAR ABBY: We give each of our grandchildren a check for every birthday. We would like to stop when each child reaches the age of 18. Please give us an idea of what to write in a letter to each child as we send the final check on his/her 18th birthday. -- LONGTIME READER IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR READER: I see no reason to make an announcement with the "last check." When the 19th birthday rolls around, send a card marking the special day -- and explaining then the reason why there is no check included.

DEAR ABBY: Printing this letter could save some lives -- maybe even your own.

In the United States, eight people die every day (on average) in house fires. Tragically, about half of these deaths could have been prevented with an inexpensive device that takes just a few minutes to install and costs only a few dollars to maintain.

I'm talking about smoke alarms. Smoke alarms are the cheapest life insurance money can buy. They are one of the most successful public health innovations in history, but 71 percent of smoke alarms that failed to operate during the last year had missing, disconnected or dead batteries.

For the 28th year, the International Association of Fire Chiefs (IAFC) is proud to partner with Energizer, the manufacturer of batteries, flashlights and lanterns, in the Change Your Clock Change Your Battery program. Together, we're asking your readers to make sure they have working smoke alarms that have been installed correctly, and to test their existing batteries -- or install fresh ones -- in conjunction with the end of daylight saving time on Sunday, Nov. 1.

In a fire, seconds count. A working smoke alarm can literally mean the difference between life and death. This program ensures that residents will have a working smoke alarm, giving them and their families the critical early warning needed to escape a fire. That precious time also helps to protect firefighters, reducing the likelihood they'll have to enter a burning home to rescue someone trapped inside.

Learn more about the program by visiting energizer.com/firesafety or the IAFC at iafc.org. Readers should also check with their local fire departments because many of them offer discounted or free programs to install working smoke alarms in low-income areas in their communities. Thanks, Abby. -- FIRE CHIEF RHODA MAE KERR, IAFC PRESIDENT AND CHAIR OF THE BOARD

DEAR CHIEF KERR: I'm pleased to publicize your lifesaving effort. Readers, daylight saving time is also lifesaving time. Changing and testing the batteries in your smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors when setting the clocks back can save your lives and the lives of the people you love. Every family should also have a fire safety evacuation plan and practice it so that everyone is prepared to evacuate should an emergency occur. A great start to establishing that safety plan is to recognize that this is the ideal time to buy and install those batteries.

DEAR ABBY: My husband was going to a meeting at the home of a fellow temple member. Because I was baking for a cookie exchange and had plenty available, I sent a lovely plate of cookies with him. The hostess thanked him, but didn't serve them. I'm fine with that. But as he was leaving, she presented him with the still-wrapped plate and said she "couldn't possibly" accept them. Is it me, or is that odd? -- COOKIE BAKER

DEAR COOKIE BAKER: Yes, I think it's odd -- unless the hostess or someone attending the meeting had a severe allergy to an ingredient that might have been in the cookies, such as nuts. While it was not unusual (or rude) to not use the gift of food in the meeting, it was odd to return it.

DEAR ABBY: I caught my 12-year-old granddaughter stealing. She took one of my favorite hair products, which isn't a big deal, but I'm torn over how to approach her and if I should inform her parents. There was another possible theft once before when she visited me. Some makeup blush disappeared. I dismissed it, but now I have concerns.

How should I handle this? I love her unconditionally, but this needs to be addressed and I don't know how. I'm prepared that she might deny my accusation. Then what? -- ALARMED IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR ALARMED: Tell your granddaughter that you enjoy having her visit, but you noticed that several items had disappeared after she stayed with you. Ask her if she took them. Regardless of how she responds, tell her that if she wants to use something of yours, before she does, she should ask permission. If it happens after that, discuss it with her parents then.

DEAR ABBY: My brother is a recovering heroin addict. He stayed clean for almost a year until a few months ago, when he relapsed. He hasn't used again since his slip and continues to go to outpatient treatment.

My boyfriend, whom I recently moved in with, doesn't want him to come to the house. He says it's to protect "his nest," and I understand why. I have tried talking with him about it because I feel that I can't have any other family members over, but that doesn't seem to matter to him. My brother heard he isn't welcome and I feel absolutely terrible.

I'm not sure how to rectify the situation. If my boyfriend can't accept my family, how is this relationship supposed to last? But another part of me wonders if his feelings are justified, and perhaps I have been too accepting of all the mistakes and grief my brother has caused my family and me. -- SAD SISTER IN OHIO

DEAR SAD SISTER: If your brother has stolen from the family in order to feed his habit, your boyfriend has a valid point in not wanting him in the house. His reaction is intelligent. However, the ban should not extend to your entire family, and this is something you need to clarify. If your boyfriend's objective is to isolate you from all of your relatives, it's a red flag that shouldn't be ignored.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is marrying a wonderful young man who not only loves her, but also her 7-month-old daughter, who is not his. My question is one of etiquette. During the wedding ceremony, if my granddaughter starts crying, should I get up and leave with her? She's a little Mama's girl and might start to fuss.

I'd hate to miss my daughter's wedding, but don't want it to be ruined for her guests. What is the proper thing to do? -- BRIDE'S MOM ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR BRIDE'S MOM: The proper thing to do is to ask your daughter -- well in advance of the wedding -- what she would like done in the event that her daughter starts crying or acting up during the ceremony.