DEAR ABBY: I am a recent nursing school graduate. My husband and I have a 1-year-old, and I just found out I'm pregnant again.

I'd like to get a job as soon as I can. My question is, should I tell prospective employers I'm pregnant? I don't want to be passed over because of my "condition," but I also don't want to be hired and immediately inform them I'll need time off when the baby comes. Am I legally or ethically obligated to disclose that I'm pregnant at an interview? -- A NURSE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR NURSE: I think you have an ethical obligation to inform your prospective employer. However, you are not legally obligated to disclose that you are pregnant. If you were not hired because of your pregnancy, you might have a claim for discrimination. And the same is true if you were retaliated against for not volunteering the information.

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 12 years, "Marie," has a serious gambling problem. Every night, she goes straight from work to the casino and stays there at least until 1 a.m. We both have low-paying jobs, and we can't afford this. Every time I mention it she gets really mad and stalks out of the room. Not only is it an expensive habit, but I hardly ever get to see her anymore. Please help. -- CONFUSED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR CONFUSED: It appears you are married to a gambling addict who is in denial. That's why it's important to separate your finances from hers if you can. A lawyer can help you do that.

There is an organization that might help you called Gam-Anon. It's a 12-step fellowship for husbands, wives, relatives or friends of compulsive gamblers who have been affected by their loved one's problem. Its website is www.gam-anon.org. Please check it out.

DEAR ABBY: We live in the Pacific Northwest and lately there has been a lot of news about an impending major earthquake due to hit our region. We understand it may not happen for a very long time, but it could also strike soon. We are planning to move to another part of the U.S. for our safety. My employer has an office there, and I can retain my job status and seniority.

The problem we see is, what do we tell people -- friends and co-workers -- about the reason for this transfer? We don't want to come off as "Chicken Little" for something that may not occur within our lifetimes, but we also don't want to endanger ourselves unnecessarily. Should we just say we are moving for "family reasons" or tell the truth or something else? -- RUNNING AWAY IN VANCOUVER

DEAR RUNNING AWAY: Living in Southern California, this subject comes up in conversation periodically whenever we have a tremor. Years ago, after one of them, I met a woman who informed me that she and her husband were moving out of state for the same reason you are doing it. (I hope she's enjoying the winters!)

If you are not comfortable informing people that your reason for relocating is fear of an untimely death, I don't think you are required to. It wouldn't be dishonest, however, to say that you are looking for a new adventure.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband and I have been back together for eight months. We were divorced for two years, during which time he remarried. We stayed in contact during his second marriage and he says he still loves me, so he left her.

He's now back with me after living on his own for a few months. I'm frustrated because he won't commit to me again. He says he has forgiven me for what broke up our marriage, but he will never consider remarrying me.

He says he has lost faith in all women. He says one marriage to me was enough and that he's confused. He told me it's fine with him if I put my rings back on. He introduces me as his wife when we're out together, but won't divorce his second wife.

I know I'm coming on too strong and pressuring him to be the man he used to be. I just don't think it's right that he should get all the benefits of having his wife and children back with none of the commitment. Should I back off and give him time to heal, or am I trapping myself in a hopeless relationship that's going to leave me a divorcee? -- HOPELESS IN MISSOURI

DEAR HOPELESS: I think we both know the answer to that. Your ex has stated clearly that he will never consider remarrying you. Under these circumstances, your wedding rings should remain in the drawer. While he may introduce you as his wife, you are NOT his wife. His WIFE is his wife, which entitles her to all the rights and privileges of her status as a spouse according to the laws of Missouri.

Be prepared to give your ex plenty of time to "heal" while living on his own. If he is confused, insist that he work his issues through with a therapist. Allowing him to stay with you while married to someone else was a mistake. You should have thought through how the arrangement might affect your children before you agreed to it.

DEAR ABBY: My mother comes from a large family. While most of the time everyone is kind and fairly respectful, there have been several occasions when gossiping family members have said hurtful things.

Most recently, a comment was made about my 29-year-old brother. He is unmarried and isn't dating anyone. He works two jobs and also participates in fishing tournaments. Someone commented that he "must be gay" because he "has guys sleep over at his house" and "doesn't have a girlfriend."

For the record, my brother is straight. His fishing teammates sleep over because they leave at 3 a.m. for their tournaments.

This really annoyed my mom and me. It's no one's business how he chooses to live his life, straight or gay. While we try to distance ourselves from their comments, staying quiet about them is becoming more and more difficult. What can we say without sinking to their level? -- SEETHING IN OHIO

DEAR SEETHING: How about being direct: "My brother/son is not gay. Please stop spreading rumors about him that aren't true because it's really annoying."

DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old girl who doesn't believe in God. Frankly, I feel uncomfortable when religion is brought up. All my friends are firm believers of Christianity and attend Bible study, or help out with other things at their church.

My parents and brothers don't believe in God. When I say I'd like to be a Christian, my brothers make fun of me. When they do, it makes me feel ashamed of myself.

I want to be a Christian because it would be nice to feel like I belong, and most Christians aren't accepting of atheists -- especially other girls my age. They might be polite, but they're distant. It also doesn't help that the boy I like comes from a religious family. What should I do? -- OUTSIDER IN ALABAMA

DEAR OUTSIDER: I think you should continue being true to the person you really are. Let me point out that if you're feeling isolated now, consider what a fraud you will feel like if you join a religion and must pray to a deity you don't believe in in order to "fit in."

While many churches promote church-related youth activities, you should explore what nonsectarian activities are available in your community. If the boy you like cares about you, he will like you even if you aren't religious, and you will have your self-respect. It's not easy feeling different, but sometimes it's worth it.

DEAR ABBY: We are not sure what to do about a nosy neighbor I'll call "Myrtle." She's nice to talk to, but quite honestly, I suspect she must be watching us with binoculars because she told me what brand of wine we drink. When my husband sends me flowers, she calls me to find out why. If we have a party, she calls to find out what it's about!

A few years ago, I was talking to Myrtle in front of her house and mentioned that I usually walk my dog in the morning. She responded, "Oh, I KNOW when you walk your dog." (Is that creepy or is it me?)

Abby, we have nothing to hide, but our life is none of her business. I've been neighborly to her, but it seems like she wants too much information about us and has no problem telling us all her business and how much she spends.

She's single and friendly with all the neighbors, as are we. I haven't asked if they experience the same thing or if we're the "lucky ones." How should this be handled? -- FED UP IN UTAH

DEAR FED UP: Continue to be polite to your neighbor, but when she asks questions you would rather not answer, instead of answering her directly, respond with another question: "Myrtle, why do you ask?" If she presses for an answer, without being confrontational say, "It's personal," and change the subject. Be sure to keep your shades drawn on windows that face her house, and when you walk your dog, take a different route.