DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband and I have been back together for eight months. We were divorced for two years, during which time he remarried. We stayed in contact during his second marriage and he says he still loves me, so he left her.

He's now back with me after living on his own for a few months. I'm frustrated because he won't commit to me again. He says he has forgiven me for what broke up our marriage, but he will never consider remarrying me.

He says he has lost faith in all women. He says one marriage to me was enough and that he's confused. He told me it's fine with him if I put my rings back on. He introduces me as his wife when we're out together, but won't divorce his second wife.

I know I'm coming on too strong and pressuring him to be the man he used to be. I just don't think it's right that he should get all the benefits of having his wife and children back with none of the commitment. Should I back off and give him time to heal, or am I trapping myself in a hopeless relationship that's going to leave me a divorcee? -- HOPELESS IN MISSOURI

DEAR HOPELESS: I think we both know the answer to that. Your ex has stated clearly that he will never consider remarrying you. Under these circumstances, your wedding rings should remain in the drawer. While he may introduce you as his wife, you are NOT his wife. His WIFE is his wife, which entitles her to all the rights and privileges of her status as a spouse according to the laws of Missouri.

Be prepared to give your ex plenty of time to "heal" while living on his own. If he is confused, insist that he work his issues through with a therapist. Allowing him to stay with you while married to someone else was a mistake. You should have thought through how the arrangement might affect your children before you agreed to it.

DEAR ABBY: My mother comes from a large family. While most of the time everyone is kind and fairly respectful, there have been several occasions when gossiping family members have said hurtful things.

Most recently, a comment was made about my 29-year-old brother. He is unmarried and isn't dating anyone. He works two jobs and also participates in fishing tournaments. Someone commented that he "must be gay" because he "has guys sleep over at his house" and "doesn't have a girlfriend."

For the record, my brother is straight. His fishing teammates sleep over because they leave at 3 a.m. for their tournaments.

This really annoyed my mom and me. It's no one's business how he chooses to live his life, straight or gay. While we try to distance ourselves from their comments, staying quiet about them is becoming more and more difficult. What can we say without sinking to their level? -- SEETHING IN OHIO

DEAR SEETHING: How about being direct: "My brother/son is not gay. Please stop spreading rumors about him that aren't true because it's really annoying."

DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old girl who doesn't believe in God. Frankly, I feel uncomfortable when religion is brought up. All my friends are firm believers of Christianity and attend Bible study, or help out with other things at their church.

My parents and brothers don't believe in God. When I say I'd like to be a Christian, my brothers make fun of me. When they do, it makes me feel ashamed of myself.

I want to be a Christian because it would be nice to feel like I belong, and most Christians aren't accepting of atheists -- especially other girls my age. They might be polite, but they're distant. It also doesn't help that the boy I like comes from a religious family. What should I do? -- OUTSIDER IN ALABAMA

DEAR OUTSIDER: I think you should continue being true to the person you really are. Let me point out that if you're feeling isolated now, consider what a fraud you will feel like if you join a religion and must pray to a deity you don't believe in in order to "fit in."

While many churches promote church-related youth activities, you should explore what nonsectarian activities are available in your community. If the boy you like cares about you, he will like you even if you aren't religious, and you will have your self-respect. It's not easy feeling different, but sometimes it's worth it.

DEAR ABBY: We are not sure what to do about a nosy neighbor I'll call "Myrtle." She's nice to talk to, but quite honestly, I suspect she must be watching us with binoculars because she told me what brand of wine we drink. When my husband sends me flowers, she calls me to find out why. If we have a party, she calls to find out what it's about!

A few years ago, I was talking to Myrtle in front of her house and mentioned that I usually walk my dog in the morning. She responded, "Oh, I KNOW when you walk your dog." (Is that creepy or is it me?)

Abby, we have nothing to hide, but our life is none of her business. I've been neighborly to her, but it seems like she wants too much information about us and has no problem telling us all her business and how much she spends.

She's single and friendly with all the neighbors, as are we. I haven't asked if they experience the same thing or if we're the "lucky ones." How should this be handled? -- FED UP IN UTAH

DEAR FED UP: Continue to be polite to your neighbor, but when she asks questions you would rather not answer, instead of answering her directly, respond with another question: "Myrtle, why do you ask?" If she presses for an answer, without being confrontational say, "It's personal," and change the subject. Be sure to keep your shades drawn on windows that face her house, and when you walk your dog, take a different route.

DEAR ABBY: I just turned 20 and I desperately want a baby. I know it's not possible right now because I am still in school and will be for several years. I also want to be married before having children, and my boyfriend agrees. We take precautions and don't plan on having kids for a long time.

None of my friends, relatives or close acquaintances have young children that I can spend time baby-sitting. I was wondering if you knew of any volunteer opportunities that will allow me to satisfy my "mothering" instinct until I can actually be a mother. -- FUTURE MOMMY IN MICHIGAN

DEAR FUTURE MOMMY: One that might interest you is becoming a "cuddler." Cuddlers are volunteers who visit hospital neonatal units. They work with infants whose parents can't be there to touch them, and whose nurses have other important duties to perform. Of course, this would necessitate your willingness to undergo a background check and take a short training course.

Contact the hospitals in your area to see if they have this program available. I'm sure if there is one, you would find it emotionally satisfying.

DEAR ABBY: My 13-year-old sister has epilepsy and it's driving me mad! She has three seizures a month, and I'm usually the one who detects them beforehand.

Ever since she was diagnosed, my family has been giving her everything she wants. She gets D's and F's on her report card and they don't say a word. If I get a mere B, I get yelled at and punished.

I'm 17 and I realize I may seem petty, but I know my parents are spoiling her to the point where it'll come back to haunt them. The other day my sister wanted a new smartphone. When Mom said no, my sister purposely triggered a seizure.

My parents won't admit they're wrong, and we can't afford counseling with all my sister's bills. Please help me. -- MAD IN MIAMI

DEAR MAD: You have my sympathy. I don't think you are being petty. Being the sibling of a sick child can be extremely difficult, and your situation is no exception. Parents often devote so much attention to the child who is unwell that the healthy one is starved for attention and positive reinforcement. The result is resentment that can last a lifetime.

Because what's happening is causing you stress, talk about it with a counselor at school. There may be counseling available for you at no cost to your parents.

DEAR ABBY: I have been friends with "Irene" for a long time. We invite her and her husband to our home for dinner parties, etc.

Recently, with every invitation, she has been asking to bring along her dog, "Pookie." She lives nearby and could easily leave it at home. We would prefer the dog not visit for a number of reasons: We have a cat; Pookie is nervous around people and has bitten; and he isn't well housebroken. He pees on everything.

How do I politely refuse her request? We enjoy Irene and her husband, but Pookie, not so much. -- NO POOCH, PLEASE, IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR NO POOCH: Here's how. When Irene asks again about bringing her dog, simply say, "We'd prefer you didn't." And if she has the nerve to ask why, tell her the reasons you gave me -- all of which are valid.