DEAR ABBY: I work for a court, and while I was at work the bailiff informed me he had civil papers to serve on my husband. When I called my husband to tell him, he sounded scared that I knew about it. When I dug a little deeper, I found out they were child support papers from a woman he'd had an affair with. He has been wiring her money behind my back for two years.

Abby, I have been with this man for 12 years. I had suspected affairs before, but he always came up with convincing answers and fooled me into thinking it was nothing. I guess I'm naive -- or him being a cop has taught him how to lie and cleverly manipulate.

I have two children, and of course I left him. I haven't told my son why I divorced his dad because I don't want him to have a bad opinion of him.

I need advice. I'm now struggling and barely making ends meet. My son is mad at me because I can't fix my relationship with his father. We are having a hard time, but my ex isn't. He's living it up while staying with relatives. He cancels visits with his son at the last minute to spend time with other women.

I try not to get angry, because no matter how I'm hurting I know I'm better off without him. How do I let the anger go? Romantically, I feel I have moved on, but another part of me feels he should suffer too. -- ANGRY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR ANGRY: Nobody likes to be played for a fool, and you wouldn't be human if you didn't have these feelings. However, resist the temptation to be vengeful. Your ex may suffer when your son is old enough to realize that he can't count on his dad to keep his word or be there for him. Bide your time. While you shouldn't poison the children against him, do let them draw their own conclusions.

DEAR ABBY: Ten years ago, while I was still in college, I dated and fell in love with a married man I'll call "Jon." The split was messy in the end, but since then we have had our closure and moved on with our lives -- divorce for him, and marriage for me.

I recently learned that Jon may be taking a position in my small company (only nine people). I believe we can be cordial, but should I approach the subject with him, or pretend it never happened? Do I tell my husband (who knows about the affair) that Jon will be working with me, or keep quiet? -- CONFLICTED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CONFLICTED: Of course you tell your husband. If you don't and he finds out Jon will be working with you, he will assume that you had something to hide. As to bringing up the past with Jon once he shows up, if he doesn't broach the subject, I don't think you should. Keep the relationship strictly business, for both your sakes.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 16 years. We have three boys, ages 12, 6 and 2. My 6-year-old doesn't sleep in his bed. He sleeps on the couch. My wife sleeps in a recliner in the den. The 2-year-old usually sleeps with her. Sometimes he sleeps in a crib in our room. I sleep by myself in a king-size bed.

There is no possibility for romance. The only time there can be is when my wife comes to bed. If this happens, I know something is going to take place, but I have no chance to initiate. Our sex life is totally up to her. Once a month or so is fine with her, but not for me.

I have told her how I feel about our "sleeping arrangements," but nothing has changed. I know I snore, but she has not complained about it keeping her awake or used it as an excuse.

Our 6-year-old will not sleep in his bed as long as his mother sleeps in the recliner. The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to get him in his bed. Do you have any advice on what I should do or say about this situation? -- SLEEPING SOLO IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SLEEPING SOLO: Obviously this arrangement isn't working for you. Unless you want to live the rest of your life this way, you are complaining to the wrong woman.

Your wife is doing the children no favors by allowing these unorthodox sleeping arrangements. It's time to lay your cards on the table with her. Tell her you need some straight answers about why she's unwilling to share your bed. But if her answers are not forthcoming, marriage counseling may be necessary to improve your level of communication.

DEAR ABBY: I recently saw a link on Facebook to a fundraising site for the son of a childhood friend. (He is under 18.) When I clicked on it, I discovered he is in rehab at a private-care facility that requires he stay for months. It is very expensive. I contributed as generously as I could, considering my limited finances, and received a thank-you for my support. I was happy to help.

Now, less than three weeks later, I'm seeing pictures of my friend on vacation. I don't plan to say anything to this person, but I have learned a valuable lesson. From now on, I will donate my hard-earned money only to organizations I believe in and have researched.

Is this a new trend, people asking others to fund their family problems so they can go on with life as usual? I recently saw a GoFundMe page for a funeral, and I know the family is well-off. I think this is very tacky. Or am I behind the times? Your thoughts? -- NO VACATION FOR ME

DEAR NO VACATION: More than a few individuals are using crowdfunding to pay for various things. It has helped some people enormously in their time of need. But for someone who is not in need to do this, I agree is tacky. However, regardless of what you and I may think, it's happening nonetheless. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, I guess.

DEAR ABBY: I am 21 and come from a family of crime involving drugs and violence. I was taken by the state as a child in need of care at 14. I've been in and out of juvie and did 18 months in juvenile prison. I'm now sitting in adult county jail. I'm going to get one more chance, according to the judge.

Where can I get help if I want to live a rightful life and fix mine? With very little income, I only know how to make money illegally, which is more than many people make in two or three years. I want to do right this time. What's your advice? -- STUCK IN CRIME IN KANSAS

DEAR STUCK: My advice is to finish your education. At the very minimum, get your GED. Fight the temptation to go for "easy money" and find a mentor who can steer you toward constructive activities and opportunities. A place to look would be one of the prison ministries.

You are still young and have your whole life ahead of you. It will be far smoother and more successful if you don't add to your criminal record.

DEAR ABBY: My 10-year-old daughter and I enjoy hosting sleepovers for her friends from school. Over the last few years, her circle of friends has increased, as have the dietary needs of said friends. It went from simple meals like macaroni and cheese, pizza or hamburgers to parents requesting gluten-free cookies, soy milk, almond milk, and other demands that drive me crazy.

I'm willing to accommodate to a point, providing vegetarian options and no nuts, but for parents to demand that I spend (what seems like) hundreds of dollars on food my family and I never eat is insane.

The last time this happened, I asked the parent -- nicely -- to provide a small container that I could store in my fridge for the girl to use for her soy milk. The woman became irate, called me thoughtless and wouldn't let her daughter come! I don't know what I did wrong, but apparently I made some faux pas because the same thing happened with a different girl who wanted gluten-free everything.

Abby, what should I do or say in these situations? I usually provide snacks and such that fit most diets, but a lot of times the main course contains gluten, dairy, etc., and I don't want to go broke buying select types of food for one kid. -- SALLY IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

DEAR SALLY: You did nothing wrong. Asking the mother to have her daughter bring a quart of soy milk with her was not rude, and the same is true for the mother of the girl who has an intolerance for gluten. The parents of children with food allergies should be used to the routine of providing allowable foods for them to bring when they will be eating away from home, and for you to have received the reaction you did was over the top.