DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 16 years. We have three boys, ages 12, 6 and 2. My 6-year-old doesn't sleep in his bed. He sleeps on the couch. My wife sleeps in a recliner in the den. The 2-year-old usually sleeps with her. Sometimes he sleeps in a crib in our room. I sleep by myself in a king-size bed.
There is no possibility for romance. The only time there can be is when my wife comes to bed. If this happens, I know something is going to take place, but I have no chance to initiate. Our sex life is totally up to her. Once a month or so is fine with her, but not for me.
I have told her how I feel about our "sleeping arrangements," but nothing has changed. I know I snore, but she has not complained about it keeping her awake or used it as an excuse.
Our 6-year-old will not sleep in his bed as long as his mother sleeps in the recliner. The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to get him in his bed. Do you have any advice on what I should do or say about this situation? -- SLEEPING SOLO IN THE SOUTH
DEAR SLEEPING SOLO: Obviously this arrangement isn't working for you. Unless you want to live the rest of your life this way, you are complaining to the wrong woman.
Your wife is doing the children no favors by allowing these unorthodox sleeping arrangements. It's time to lay your cards on the table with her. Tell her you need some straight answers about why she's unwilling to share your bed. But if her answers are not forthcoming, marriage counseling may be necessary to improve your level of communication.