DEAR ABBY: I am 21 and come from a family of crime involving drugs and violence. I was taken by the state as a child in need of care at 14. I've been in and out of juvie and did 18 months in juvenile prison. I'm now sitting in adult county jail. I'm going to get one more chance, according to the judge.

Where can I get help if I want to live a rightful life and fix mine? With very little income, I only know how to make money illegally, which is more than many people make in two or three years. I want to do right this time. What's your advice? -- STUCK IN CRIME IN KANSAS

DEAR STUCK: My advice is to finish your education. At the very minimum, get your GED. Fight the temptation to go for "easy money" and find a mentor who can steer you toward constructive activities and opportunities. A place to look would be one of the prison ministries.

You are still young and have your whole life ahead of you. It will be far smoother and more successful if you don't add to your criminal record.

DEAR ABBY: My 10-year-old daughter and I enjoy hosting sleepovers for her friends from school. Over the last few years, her circle of friends has increased, as have the dietary needs of said friends. It went from simple meals like macaroni and cheese, pizza or hamburgers to parents requesting gluten-free cookies, soy milk, almond milk, and other demands that drive me crazy.

I'm willing to accommodate to a point, providing vegetarian options and no nuts, but for parents to demand that I spend (what seems like) hundreds of dollars on food my family and I never eat is insane.

The last time this happened, I asked the parent -- nicely -- to provide a small container that I could store in my fridge for the girl to use for her soy milk. The woman became irate, called me thoughtless and wouldn't let her daughter come! I don't know what I did wrong, but apparently I made some faux pas because the same thing happened with a different girl who wanted gluten-free everything.

Abby, what should I do or say in these situations? I usually provide snacks and such that fit most diets, but a lot of times the main course contains gluten, dairy, etc., and I don't want to go broke buying select types of food for one kid. -- SALLY IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

DEAR SALLY: You did nothing wrong. Asking the mother to have her daughter bring a quart of soy milk with her was not rude, and the same is true for the mother of the girl who has an intolerance for gluten. The parents of children with food allergies should be used to the routine of providing allowable foods for them to bring when they will be eating away from home, and for you to have received the reaction you did was over the top.

DEAR ABBY: I have been hosting Thanksgiving for most of my married life -- 44 years. When my children married, I told them we could celebrate all the holidays whenever and wherever they chose, but I wanted Thanksgiving.

Two years ago, my daughter-in-law asked to spend Thanksgiving with her parents and sister, and I reluctantly agreed. Her mom was battling cancer, so I said she could have Thanksgiving with her parents.

This year I received an email that SHE will be hosting it at her house with her parents and hoped we would come! I was upset that she didn't even discuss this with me. I sent her an email back saying I would like to have Thanksgiving at my house and she and her parents were invited. I haven't heard from her and I'm afraid she's mad. Frankly, I don't want to go to her house, but I don't want to alienate my son and two grandkids.

I don't see a compromise here that will please everyone. Do you? -- UNTHANKFUL IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR UNTHANKFUL: Yes, I do. Because your daughter-in-law has made it plain that she would like to establish some Thanksgiving traditions of her own, you should now graciously discuss alternating the celebration with her.

DEAR ABBY: I was in an unhappy marriage for 35 years, and moved from California to Oklahoma to live with my oldest son. I have now met someone ("Tom") who makes me very happy. The problem is, he's only 30 years old.

Tom doesn't see the age difference as a problem. I don't either, but I have told only two people about him. I feel happy for the first time and don't want to lose him.

Do you think the age difference is an issue? I have tried dating men my own age, but they are boring. -- YOUNG IN OKLAHOMA CITY

DEAR YOUNG: You have the right to live your life the way you want to. Under the circumstances, the difference in your ages will be an issue only if you or Tom chooses to make it one.

DEAR ABBY: I often find myself confused regarding contact information. Many times, people list both a cellphone and a home phone number for contacting them. Because I've grown up in this age of technology, I have only a cellphone and am not reachable any other way.

When people list both numbers or send me both numbers in an email, which number should be used first? And if I don't reach them at the first number, do I leave a message and wait for a return call, or should I call the next number right away? Typically, preferences are not indicated. -- TOO MANY NUMBERS IN WISCONSIN

DEAR TOO MANY: While it's increasingly common for people to have only cellphones, not everyone wants to be called during the day when they might be working. That's why, if there is any confusion on your part, you should ask the individual, because the responses you receive may not be all the same.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Colton" for six months. He's a year and a half older than I am and just started college. I'm still in high school.

Recently, my parents have begun putting restrictions on us, limiting us to one date a week, under four hours long and in a group situation. They like Colton, but they're worried I'll miss out on my friends and high school events.

We have obeyed their restrictions, but the time limit they have set is too short for many date activities, and getting a group together is nearly impossible. I agree I should balance my time, but I think their rules are too rigid because there are no exceptions.

I know my parents care about me, but I'm looking for a little more freedom and the ability to make my own choices. My parents agreed that if I could find other people who thought this situation was in some way unreasonable, they would reconsider some of the rules. So I'm wondering what your opinion is, Abby. -- RESTRICTED IN SALT LAKE CITY

DEAR RESTRICTED: In my opinion, it is very important that your primary concern -- and Colton's, too -- should be earning good grades and completing your education. Both of your futures depend upon it. That said, if there are special events coming up that you and Colton would like to share, the curfew should be adjusted on a case-by-case basis.

DEAR ABBY: I am a newer aunt who feels like I have lost my siblings in this life transition. When I call, I hear screaming boys in the background and it gives me shudders, so I don't do it often. When I visit, every single adult's attention is on the boys and no real conversation ensues.

When I grew up, kids were not a part of adult time. How can I let them know their kids are so unruly I can hardly communicate with them anymore? Or should I just leave my siblings to their own families now? -- UNIMPRESSED AUNT IN TEXAS

DEAR UNIMPRESSED: Because you are not yet a parent, you may not have noticed that when parents of small children get on the phone, their children, in a bid for their attention, become either very noisy or very quiet. The noisiness is preferable, because when the kids become very quiet, they are usually doing something they're not supposed to.

Because the noise your nieces and nephews make unnerves you, schedule phone calls with your siblings after their little ones have been put to bed. And if you would like adult/alone time with them, ask if you can schedule a lunch away from their home for an occasional visit.

DEAR ABBY: Is it more appropriate to eat ice cream cake with a spoon or a fork? I'm always unsure which is preferable. -- ELLEN IN WOODLAND HILLS, CALIF.

DEAR ELLEN: Eat your ice cream cake with a spoon or a "spork" (a utensil that's a combination spoon and fork) so there will be fewer drips when the ice cream starts to melt.