DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Colton" for six months. He's a year and a half older than I am and just started college. I'm still in high school.

Recently, my parents have begun putting restrictions on us, limiting us to one date a week, under four hours long and in a group situation. They like Colton, but they're worried I'll miss out on my friends and high school events.

We have obeyed their restrictions, but the time limit they have set is too short for many date activities, and getting a group together is nearly impossible. I agree I should balance my time, but I think their rules are too rigid because there are no exceptions.

I know my parents care about me, but I'm looking for a little more freedom and the ability to make my own choices. My parents agreed that if I could find other people who thought this situation was in some way unreasonable, they would reconsider some of the rules. So I'm wondering what your opinion is, Abby. -- RESTRICTED IN SALT LAKE CITY

DEAR RESTRICTED: In my opinion, it is very important that your primary concern -- and Colton's, too -- should be earning good grades and completing your education. Both of your futures depend upon it. That said, if there are special events coming up that you and Colton would like to share, the curfew should be adjusted on a case-by-case basis.

DEAR ABBY: I am a newer aunt who feels like I have lost my siblings in this life transition. When I call, I hear screaming boys in the background and it gives me shudders, so I don't do it often. When I visit, every single adult's attention is on the boys and no real conversation ensues.

When I grew up, kids were not a part of adult time. How can I let them know their kids are so unruly I can hardly communicate with them anymore? Or should I just leave my siblings to their own families now? -- UNIMPRESSED AUNT IN TEXAS

DEAR UNIMPRESSED: Because you are not yet a parent, you may not have noticed that when parents of small children get on the phone, their children, in a bid for their attention, become either very noisy or very quiet. The noisiness is preferable, because when the kids become very quiet, they are usually doing something they're not supposed to.

Because the noise your nieces and nephews make unnerves you, schedule phone calls with your siblings after their little ones have been put to bed. And if you would like adult/alone time with them, ask if you can schedule a lunch away from their home for an occasional visit.

DEAR ABBY: Is it more appropriate to eat ice cream cake with a spoon or a fork? I'm always unsure which is preferable. -- ELLEN IN WOODLAND HILLS, CALIF.

DEAR ELLEN: Eat your ice cream cake with a spoon or a "spork" (a utensil that's a combination spoon and fork) so there will be fewer drips when the ice cream starts to melt.

DEAR ABBY: I'm on the verge of 30, and my fiance has a huge issue with the fact that I still cuddle with my mom. From what he says, his family isn't wild about it, either.

Mom has suffered a great deal of loss in her life. She has lost all of her immediate family (aside from her kids) to cancer. We were all caretakers for these family members, doing in-home hospice, and we have formed a unique bond.

My fiance has never even been to a funeral, so it's hard for me to explain this to him. Mom was born in a country in Europe where hugging and lots of affection are natural.

I live out of state, but when I'm home I will put my head on Mom's shoulder and cuddle with her while watching a movie. Sometimes in the morning I'll bring her a hot cup of coffee, put it next to her bed, and jump in with her and her dog. We joke, laugh, cuddle until we have to get up. Is this something I need professional help for, as certain people have had the nerve to tell me? -- AFFECTIONATE IN ALBANY, N.Y.

DEAR AFFECTIONATE: It should be clear to you by now that you are engaged to a man who comes from a family that isn't comfortable with physical demonstrations of affection, and is quick to judge others. Treasure the closeness you have with your mother while you have it because, after she's no longer with you, that special kind of affection will be permanently over.

For your fiance or his family to suggest there's something wrong with cuddling with your mother, or that you need "professional help" because you do it, is both sad and wrong. Many people would find the relationship you share with her to be enviable, and I am one of them.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 27-year-old man dating a woman the same age. "Kelli" and I have been happily together for two years.

My sister's recent wedding prompted me to start ring shopping. My sister used this opportunity to come forward "on behalf of the family" to tell me marrying Kelli would be a mistake. She proceeded to spout off two dozen reasons why we shouldn't be together -- ranging from Kelli's lack of social graces to her haircut. Then she gave me an ultimatum to choose between Kelli and her.

Things have calmed down in the weeks since, but I am concerned my family will never trust my judgment and will mistreat Kelli. I have never been treated so well by a partner, and I don't want to lose her. Please give me some feedback. -- STUCK IN THE MIDDLE IN MARYLAND

DEAR STUCK: To say that your sister's outburst was out of line would be an understatement. That she would demand that you "choose" between her and your girlfriend is ridiculous.

Because you are serious about Kelli, rather than regard what your sister said as a policy statement from the rest of the family, ask them how they feel about your girlfriend. Some may like her; some may not. But you should not decide whom to marry based on anyone else's opinion other than your own. They don't have to live with her; only you do.

P.S. Mature adults do not allow anyone to abuse their spouses.

DEAR ABBY: My son, a widower with two boys, ages 6 and 9, has just informed me that his 33-year-old girlfriend, "Karen," is pregnant and due in five months. He started seeing her three months after his wife died, and they have been an item for eight months. She has been staying at his house every weekend, and plans to move in with him soon.

Karen has never been married and has no children, so she will become a stepmom and a new mom in a short period of time. Neither my son nor Karen seems to realize how difficult it will be to bring a stepparent into this situation, especially with a new baby on the way. One of the boys will have to give up his bedroom when the baby arrives. I'm concerned that the boys will be overwhelmed by this, when they have not yet been able to effectively deal with the death of their mother.

I think this relationship has moved too fast and they are clueless about how all this will affect the boys. My son has told me I need to "get over it, it's his life and his kids." Is there anything I can do to help the boys process all of this and adjust to the new situation? -- WISE LADY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR WISE LADY: Nowhere in your letter have you mentioned that the boys are depressed or acting out. They probably like Karen or the relationship wouldn't have lasted as long as it has.

It appears that in trying to be helpful you may have come across as negative or judgmental. If that's true, apologize to your son and suggest that if the adjustment becomes difficult for his boys, a family therapist could help to nip any problems in the bud. Then cross your fingers and hope it isn't necessary.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 10 years. Half of his family are smokers. Every year, there has been a family gathering at his dad's house. Since the birth of my first child, smoking has become forbidden in that home.

This year, however, the party will be held at the home of another where smoking will be permitted. I can't handle smoke. It gives me a sore throat and I cough for a week after exposure. Because of my reaction and for the health of my children, I don't want to attend. (When we get home we have to immediately shower and launder our clothing to get rid of the smell.)

My husband is adamant that we should attend and bring the kids. He was raised around smoking and doesn't see what the "big deal" is. What can I say or do to convince him not to force me and our children to be exposed to the health hazards of secondhand smoke? Am I being unreasonable because it's only one night a year? -- HATER OF SMOKING IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR HATER OF SMOKING: I think so. Much as you might like, you can't raise your children in a bubble. I would hate to see you isolate your children from their aunts, uncles, cousins and any grandparents who are still alive during their once-a-year holiday celebration.

If you would prefer not to attend because you can't stand the smell of the smoke, stay home. But do not prevent your children from knowing the family. Assuming they don't have health issues, one evening of exposure to cigarette smoke shouldn't be harmful.