DEAR ABBY: I'm 18 and live with my boyfriend, "Austin," at his parents' house because, frankly, my mom is too much for me to handle.

I graduated from high school with no plan for anything afterward. I was going to follow Austin to the school of his choice, but then he changed his mind about college. I'm happy to stay here in Colorado, but I now feel like I don't have much going for myself.

Austin already has a job because of a connection his dad had at work. I have applied for more than 10 jobs and haven't heard back. I was thinking of doing online classes in a year, but I have no clue what I want to study. How will I know what I want to do for the rest of my life? -- GOING NOWHERE

DEAR GOING NOWHERE: I don't know what kind of jobs you have been applying for, but because you haven't heard back from 10 of them, you either may not be qualified or don't create a good enough impression. If you haven't already asked Austin and his parents what they think you might be doing wrong, you should, so they can offer some helpful suggestions.

You should also make it your business to contact the nearest university extension department and inquire about aptitude tests and career counseling. Generally, the classes in which you have excelled are the areas you should explore because working in them would be something you might enjoy.

P.S. I don't know why you are on the outs with your mother, but if it has anything to do with the fact that you planned to follow your boyfriend to college and not complete your education, I'm advising you to patch up the relationship and reconsider, because that plan is, indeed, leading you nowhere.

DEAR ABBY: My question is about Internet dating. How far along into a committed relationship should the profiles come down from the dating sites? Mine came down within weeks. It's been a year and my boyfriend's are still up. He's not active on them, but the emails still come to his inbox.

He claims he's too lazy to unsubscribe and it's just a habit to look at who the site is sending to him. We use the same computer when we're together, and he has left his email open more than once. I clicked into a few of them and that's how I found out that he doesn't seem to be active. But still? -- NERVOUS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR NERVOUS: Your boyfriend may maintain his dating sites and check them occasionally because it's an ego boost -- he wants to see how many women find him attractive. That he doesn't appear to be responding to them is encouraging. However, the appropriate time to unsubscribe would be when a couple decides to be exclusive.

DEAR ABBY: There are no words to express how disappointed I am at the education kids receive now and still graduate with "honors." I was at the grocery store a short time ago. Two young ladies working there just completed their freshman year at the local college. One of them had been on the honor roll all through high school.

I bought four packages of gravy mix that were on sale -- four packages for $1. As the cashier rang it up, I noticed that she had entered them at 44 cents apiece. When I brought it to her attention, she asked the other cashier if that was right. She asked, "Forty-four cents, wouldn't that be four for $1?" The other one picked up a calculator to find the answer.

Can you tell me, what did this honor student learn in school? Both girls are in college. My heart is broken for our kids. Maybe we need to go back to teaching like when I was a kid. Just call me ... GRANDPARENT IN TEXAS

DEAR GRANDPARENT: Frankly, your letter leaves me at a loss for words. I can only say that the problems with our educational system will not be resolved in an advice column. Readers?

DEAR ABBY: I was sober for a year when I met my husband. Neither my alcoholism nor my 24 years of perfect sobriety have ever caused any upset for anyone in his family.

His niece will be married later this year in a winery in another state. The thought of it makes me anxious, and I am opting to not attend with my husband.

Abby, I am not a "special" aunt, and I have no place in the wedding, which will be large. Some family members think I'm being selfish, but I believe I am my first responsibility. They are not the sort you can talk to, so please advise. Am I being selfish? -- VERY SAD IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR VERY SAD: Not in my opinion. Your reason for not attending makes sense to me, and it's not "selfish" to skip an event at which you would not be comfortable. If you send your husband -- and a nice wedding gift -- I'm sure the bride will forgive your absence. And for those who would hold it against you, "remind" them that although you have maintained your sobriety for many years, it can't be taken for granted because sobriety is a day-to-day challenge for people with alcoholism.

DEAR ABBY: My friend and I have a disagreement. We do crossword puzzles together at the dog park. She says using a thesaurus/dictionary is cheating. I say that if I look something up and then write it down, I'm learning. What say you, Abby? -- WILLIAM IN OCEANSIDE, CALIF.

DEAR WILLIAM: I agree with you. For this friend to shame you because you need a little help with the answers isn't very nice. The next time she says it, smile and ask her what a five-letter word with a "t" in the middle is.

DEAR ABBY: Your advice to "Poor Birth Mother in Georgia" on June 12 -- "Because the college loan agreement with your daughter was verbal and wasn't put in writing, you don't have a legal means to force her to assume the loan payments" -- was wrong!

Verbal agreements are enforced if they can be proven to be true. Even if the daughter didn't promise to make the payments, she may be held liable for them because money provided for the benefit of another gives rise to an implied and enforceable obligation to repay it.

If the statute of limitations has not run out, I think she's got a pretty good case. Whether it's economically feasible is another issue, as is the wisdom of getting into litigation with one's daughter.

Check with your own attorney. You made a mistake that you should correct. If you are a lawyer, you should have known better; if you're NOT a lawyer, you should avoid giving legal advice. -- ATTORNEY IN PALM DESERT, CALIF.

DEAR PALM DESERT: You are not the only lawyer to say that. Attorneys nationwide wrote to point it out, and I apologize for that answer. Although I did consult an attorney who said my answer was correct, it appears we were both wrong. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Under Georgia law, ORAL agreements are enforceable. That mother could bring a lawsuit against her daughter to repay the loan. A famous Georgia case involved Ted Turner, who was sued for $281 million based on an oral agreement. A Georgia court upheld the agreement, and Turner had to pay the $281 million. -- SAN FRANCISCO ATTORNEY

DEAR ABBY: Although the agreement "Poor Birth Mother" had with her daughter was an oral one, there may be some documentation, albeit peripheral: email, notes, birthday cards, thank-you cards. Also, the college application and financial disclosure form may say "loan from mother" as anticipated expense payment. The writer should talk to an attorney in Georgia. -- MARIETTA, GA., READER

DEAR ABBY: Just the THREAT of a lawsuit may bring the daughter around. Lawsuits, sad to say, have enormous blackmail value; the cost to defend them is so high that people settle.

I'm a magna cum laude graduate and former officer of Harvard Law School, and for a few years of my misspent youth, a professor at the Northwestern University School of Law. If I were licensed in Georgia, I'd represent her, probably for free (lawyers do such things). -- ATTORNEY IN IRVING, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Tell the mother to consult her local bar association and ask if it has a pro bono (free) hotline or clinic to advise her. -- TEXAS LAWYER

DEAR ABBY: Have her contact Georgia's Division of Aging and speak to Adult Protective Services. Among the things it deals with is elder abuse, which includes physical, emotional and sexual abuse, neglect by a caregiver, self-neglect and financial exploitation. -- READER IN GEORGIA