DEAR ABBY: Your advice to "Poor Birth Mother in Georgia" on June 12 -- "Because the college loan agreement with your daughter was verbal and wasn't put in writing, you don't have a legal means to force her to assume the loan payments" -- was wrong!

Verbal agreements are enforced if they can be proven to be true. Even if the daughter didn't promise to make the payments, she may be held liable for them because money provided for the benefit of another gives rise to an implied and enforceable obligation to repay it.

If the statute of limitations has not run out, I think she's got a pretty good case. Whether it's economically feasible is another issue, as is the wisdom of getting into litigation with one's daughter.

Check with your own attorney. You made a mistake that you should correct. If you are a lawyer, you should have known better; if you're NOT a lawyer, you should avoid giving legal advice. -- ATTORNEY IN PALM DESERT, CALIF.

DEAR PALM DESERT: You are not the only lawyer to say that. Attorneys nationwide wrote to point it out, and I apologize for that answer. Although I did consult an attorney who said my answer was correct, it appears we were both wrong. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Under Georgia law, ORAL agreements are enforceable. That mother could bring a lawsuit against her daughter to repay the loan. A famous Georgia case involved Ted Turner, who was sued for $281 million based on an oral agreement. A Georgia court upheld the agreement, and Turner had to pay the $281 million. -- SAN FRANCISCO ATTORNEY

DEAR ABBY: Although the agreement "Poor Birth Mother" had with her daughter was an oral one, there may be some documentation, albeit peripheral: email, notes, birthday cards, thank-you cards. Also, the college application and financial disclosure form may say "loan from mother" as anticipated expense payment. The writer should talk to an attorney in Georgia. -- MARIETTA, GA., READER

DEAR ABBY: Just the THREAT of a lawsuit may bring the daughter around. Lawsuits, sad to say, have enormous blackmail value; the cost to defend them is so high that people settle.

I'm a magna cum laude graduate and former officer of Harvard Law School, and for a few years of my misspent youth, a professor at the Northwestern University School of Law. If I were licensed in Georgia, I'd represent her, probably for free (lawyers do such things). -- ATTORNEY IN IRVING, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Tell the mother to consult her local bar association and ask if it has a pro bono (free) hotline or clinic to advise her. -- TEXAS LAWYER

DEAR ABBY: Have her contact Georgia's Division of Aging and speak to Adult Protective Services. Among the things it deals with is elder abuse, which includes physical, emotional and sexual abuse, neglect by a caregiver, self-neglect and financial exploitation. -- READER IN GEORGIA

DEAR ABBY: I am a 24-year-old woman and currently live with my boyfriend. We have a child. Before we started living together, we discussed having an open relationship. We realized how messy it can be, so we agreed on having a "free pass" with ONE person, ONE time. I have met that person; it is a woman.

At first, my boyfriend was OK with it. But now that I'm ready to do it, he's acting jealous. I told him I would stand by his side if he changed his mind about me doing this, but I'm excited to experience this alone and not have him involved. Help, please, Abby? -- CARRYING OUT THE PLAN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CARRYING OUT: Your boyfriend may be feeling insecure because he is afraid of losing you. But this is what he agreed to -- a "free pass" with one person. If you feel you need to further explore your sexuality and he is unwilling to allow it, then it's time to rethink your relationship with him because you may not be as suited to each other as you both thought.

And, by the way, the same may be true for him. If he needs someone who is a one-man woman, then you may not be it.

DEAR ABBY: My son "Pete" is a felon from an incident that cost him six years in a federal penitentiary. He has one more year left on parole. He married a professional "psychic" he met online who we believe has borderline personality disorder. There have been several instances of serious physical abuse toward my son. He is constantly trying to adapt to her ever-changing moods to reduce these conflicts, to no avail.

Yesterday she smashed a coffee pot into Pete's face, causing a 3-inch gash. Then she took his guitar and smashed in the windows of his truck. When she's not violent, she threatens to kill herself. She recently moved here from the U.K. and must maintain a living situation with her husband for at least a year to establish citizenship. Pete wants to stick it out for the sake of his wife's daughter.

I think my son should call the police and make a report, but he is afraid of how she would and will retaliate. She knows his background and could accuse him of anything, if it comes down to a "he said/she said" situation. I'm not sure what to do, Abby. Any thoughts? -- DESPERATE MOM IN MARYLAND

DEAR DESPERATE MOM: For his own safety, your son should not continue living with someone as volatile as this woman. Pete could be even more seriously injured in her next attack if he stays. When she acts out again -- notice I didn't say "if" -- I agree that he should call the police and make a report. He should also go to an emergency room for treatment and to have his injuries photographed.

If his parole officer doesn't know what has been going on, he or she should be informed. If Pete thinks his wife could harm her daughter, he should report it to child protective services.

He should never have allowed himself to be held hostage by her threats to kill herself, which is classic emotional blackmail. This "citizenship" marriage has been a sham from the beginning, and your son should end it.

DEAR ABBY: I have a very close cousin (and friend) who is in a toxic relationship with a man who breaks up with her repeatedly, manipulates and abuses her emotionally, and probably cheats. It has made me sad to see her go through the same pattern with him for so many years.

They were supposed to be married soon, but are having the same problems again. She's unsure what steps to take, even though family and friends are advising her against marrying him. I don't support the idea either, but I don't want to create a rift with my cousin.

If the wedding takes place, can I decline to be part of the wedding party? Is there anything I can do to make her "see the light"? It's hard to watch a good person go through this. I know it's her choice, but it's wearing on our relationship as well. -- CONCERNED COUSIN IN WYOMING

DEAR COUSIN: Have you been asked to be in the wedding party? If it hasn't happened yet, you may be putting the cart before the horse.

Because you haven't been able to get your cousin to see the light before this, I doubt anything you can say will accomplish it now because love is blind and often deaf. This doesn't mean you shouldn't tell her you think she deserves better than what she's getting, and that it pains you to see her hurt the way she has been. However, at the same time, let her know that whatever she decides, you love and support her and will be there for her, because if he actually marries her -- which he may not -- she's going to need it.

DEAR ABBY: I recently started a new job, and the past three months have been wonderful! One co-worker in particular has contributed to that. He's a tall, handsome man with a great personality. We get along wonderfully, socialize outside of work, and we flirt ... a lot. We have briefly talked about being friends with benefits, but I'm not sure how I feel about it. I have never been FWB with anyone before, and I am very nervous about the possible downside.

I am very attracted to this co-worker, but I also consider him a great friend who could potentially someday be even more than a friend. I am scared that being FWBs would ruin our friendship and any possible future we may have. Should I accept being an FWB and enjoy it while it lasts, or decline and explain to him why? -- FRIENDS WITHOUT BENEFITS IN VIRGINIA

DEAR FRIENDS: If I were you, I'd enjoy the flirtation for as long as it lasts and pass on being his FWB.

While "friends with benefits" may seem enticing, what it really stands for is "sex without commitment or responsibility," and in the majority of instances it leads to -- nothing. Couple that with the fact that if you do, and someone else attracts his attention, you will not only have to cope with hurt feelings, but also the embarrassment of still having to work with him. So start thinking with your head, and don't do anything you might later regret.

TO MY JEWISH READERS: Tonight at sundown, Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish calendar, begins. It's a day of fasting, reflection, prayer and repentance. To all of you, may your fast be an easy one.