DEAR ABBY: I'm 16, go to high school, play football and make good grades.

At church every Sunday, a lady who is one of my mom's friends always makes a point of coming up to me to talk. She says things about me growing up to be a man, and asks me if I'm dating. She always gives me an extended hug. It's really uncomfortable for me, and embarrassing.

I tried to talk to my mom about it, but she just said her friend is a very affectionate person. To me, the way she does it is creepy and scary. I don't want to be unfriendly to anybody, but this is different. Any suggestions? -- ENOUGH ALREADY, IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR ENOUGH: Yes. Listen to your gut. Tell your mother her friend is coming across as creepy and scary. Because her behavior makes you uncomfortable, avoid physical contact with her by stepping back when she tries to hug you. And if she brings up the subject of whether you're dating, change the subject ("Lovely sermon, wasn't it, Mrs. Robinson?"). Then walk away.

DEAR ABBY: I've been living with my boyfriend for several years, and he has this habit of not locking the front door. Is this a guy thing? I have told him repeatedly that I don't feel safe when he does this, yet every other morning I wake up and the front door is not locked!

I feel like a broken record. His response is: "I'm here. Nothing is going to happen." He also doesn't lock the balcony door. Even though we are on the second floor, I still hate coming home to doors in the apartment that are unlocked. It makes me feel vulnerable.

Am I overreacting? How can I talk to him about it without sounding like a nag? -- AMBER IN TEXAS

DEAR AMBER: You are not overreacting. Your boyfriend appears to be operating under the delusion that he is a superhero. Too often we see reports in the news about yet another tragedy, after which a neighbor appears on camera saying, "I don't understand it. Things like this don't happen in our neighborhood."

Because you haven't been able to convince him to change his ways, the solution to your problem is to take the initiative and lock the doors yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I bought several designer outfits for my infant niece. My sister was thrilled with the quality and brands until a friend told her that I had purchased them at a consignment shop. The clothes still have the original tags on them and were clearly never worn.

My sister returned the clothes to me and told me that because they were from a consignment shop, she did not want them and they wouldn't be used. Is something wrong with gifting an item purchased at a consignment shop? -- GIFT GIVING IN NEW YORK

DEAR GIFT GIVING: Of course not! Your sister was extremely rude to do what she did. And I have to wonder about the "friend" who felt compelled to tell her where the baby gifts had been purchased, in light of the fact that the price tags were still on the garments and they had never been worn.

DEAR ABBY: Today was my high school reunion. I was the most notable student for all the wrong reasons. I was born with some birth defects and learning disabilities. I overcame them, but it was hard. While working blue-collar jobs, I lived in my car for a few years.

On a cold winter night several years ago, I met Dr. X in the emergency room. He was a former classmate of mine, and we pretended not to know one another. He discovered I was living in my car and heard some of my story. Then he arranged for me to be admitted to the hospital for a day so I could get warmed up and recover. When I left the hospital, I found a $100 bill in the gas tank door of my van. I'm sure it was from him.

I now have a home of my own and I'm doing OK, considering everything. When I sent my reservation and check to the reunion committee, it was returned uncashed with a $50 bill along with a note saying "Please don't come." The reunion was being held on the estate of Dr. X.

I guess my classmates are more closed-minded than I thought they would be. I was hoping age would mellow them. In addition to the reservation return, I have seen a few forwarded emails mocking my attempts to find out about the event. I hope none of those people were blessed with a child with learning or physical issues.

I guess people never change on some things. Thankfully, I have found nicer, caring people along my journey in life, and for that I'd like to thank all of the kind people in the world. -- UNEXPECTED SUCCESS

DEAR UNEXPECTED SUCCESS: Your letter shocked me. I am glad to know how you are doing. Although people age, it's apparent that not all of them mature.

In case you haven't yet realized it, you weren't the only student in your class with problems. People who would behave as you have described were obviously born without a heart. It is inexcusable for you to have been treated the way you were. In recognition of the challenges you have overcome, you should have been the guest of honor at the reunion.

DEAR ABBY: I've been seeing a man for 15 months. I know he has three sisters and a brother. All he has said is they are not close and he doesn't keep in touch with them. There are no cards at holiday time, no phone calls or any mention of any of them (there are nieces and nephews, too), and no explanation about why they don't talk.

Should I be concerned that he doesn't share any of this with me? He has been very involved with my entire family, but I have never met a single relative of his. -- KEPT IN THE DARK IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR KEPT IN THE DARK: After 15 months of dating, you should be able to discuss this with him and get some honest answers. There are probably good reasons why this man and his family are estranged. They may have been abusive to him, or he may be the black sheep of the family. But you will never know unless you ask directly.

DEAR ABBY: Last year I gave my new (at that time) girlfriend, "Alyssa," a pair of earrings for her birthday. They were in a box from a department store marked "fine jewelry." She loved them and became emotional in expressing her gratitude. I thought it was because it was the first piece of jewelry I had ever bought for her.

When she opened the box I explained that they were her birthstone -- sapphires -- but white sapphires. In her excitement she must have missed that part.

The earrings are large -- maybe one carat apiece. Yesterday I overheard my granddaughter ask Alyssa if they were real diamonds, and Alyssa told her yes!

I kept my mouth shut when she said it, but now I understand why she was so excited when she first saw them. She cherishes the earrings and has told me numerous times she will never take them off.

I want to make this right, but I'm afraid she'll feel embarrassed because she must have told her girlfriends and family I gave her diamond earrings -- which I didn't. Abby, what do I do? -- LOVING BOYFRIEND IN VIRGINIA

DEAR BOYFRIEND: You should straighten this out with your girlfriend, but do it privately. After that, let her disclose the fact that her diamond earrings are really sapphires at her discretion -- or not.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's daughter and her husband are in their early 40s. When they invite us to visit them, there is never any preparation or advance planning. They provide no clean sheets or towels. If they order out, they expect us to pay.

When they visit us, they leave beer cans in the bookcases, devour all snacks without asking, etc. Their house smells strongly of pet odors. If we opt to stay in a hotel, they are offended.

Every occasion revolves around drinking alcohol, and lots of it. I'll have one drink, so they won't say I am uptight and feel uncomfortable around me. My husband is intimidated by his strong-willed daughter, and wishes this just would all go away.

There have been many, many more incidents and overall generally narcissistic and rude behavior. My husband wants a relationship with his daughter. What to do? -- JUST WANTS TO RELAX

DEAR JUST WANTS: You either grin and bear it -- and that includes laundering your own sheets and towels when you visit -- or send your husband to visit his daughter alone.

DEAR ABBY: A very good friend of mine had a facelift. I'm out of the country, so I have only seen pictures of her. I don't think it looks good at all. It looks fake and, in my opinion, has ruined her looks.

What should I say when I see her or when she asks me directly what I think of it? I hate to lie, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. -- HONEST FRIEND

DEAR HONEST: Sometimes people can be "too" honest, so be diplomatic if you are asked directly. Tell her you always thought she was beautiful -- inside and out -- and thought she looked great before, but if she's happy with the result, that's what's important.