DEAR ABBY: I am a 24-year-old single mother of an amazing 3-year-old girl. I have had more than my share of turmoil with her father. We are no longer together, and he isn't in the picture. Abby, I feel damaged. I'm afraid I will never love again or find anyone to love me the way I need.

My daughter is my shadow. We are literally joined at the hip. She's lonely, always around adults and has no one her age to play with. I really want to have another child. While I may never have the right man to father one, I'd like to save a life and adopt another daughter and playmate for my little girl.

Some people may see me as too young or unable to do it. But the love, care and providing for my child exceed anything I'll ever do in my life. What do you think? -- MATERNAL MIDWESTERNER

DEAR M.M.: To adopt a child for the reason you have stated would be a terrible disservice to an innocent child. If you want your little girl to learn to make friends with other children, then enroll her in day care, where she will be exposed to some.

As to your feeling that you are damaged and will never find love again, many women feel as you do after a bad breakup. Most of them heal, learn from their experience and go on to have fulfilling lives. In your case, it may take the help of a therapist to find your self-confidence again. But trust me, it can be done. Another child is not the answer to what's ailing you right now.

DEAR ABBY: My 35-year-old sister accompanied me to see the doctor because I told her I have been having thoughts of harming myself. While we were there, the doctor expressed concern about the amount of strong prescription painkillers I have been taking. He brought up my record, and it showed I have picked up this medication four times in the last month.

Abby, my sister has been getting these pills, not me! In the past, she ordered them and picked them up for me when I was unable to do it myself, but I had no idea she has been collecting more in my name until today. I didn't want to get her in trouble, so I didn't admit the truth to the doctor, but then he started to insist that my sister keep any medications I have under lock and key "in case I decide to harm myself."

I don't know what to do. She made me promise not to tell anyone, and I don't want to get her into trouble. (She's training to be a nurse and this could get her kicked out of the course.) Please help. -- ANXIOUS IN ENGLAND

DEAR ANXIOUS: Straighten this out with your doctor immediately! Do not try to "protect" your sister. There are programs for health care workers who become addicted to drugs, and she needs to get into one right now. If you need medications, you will have to arrange for someone other than your sister to dole them out -- another relative, a friend, pharmacist, whomever. Your doctor may be able to suggest someone.

DEAR ABBY: I am marrying a wonderful man I love dearly. We have planned a dream wedding for ourselves rather quickly. I secured the venue we wanted. There was no other place or date available to us as backup. At this point, we would lose thousands if we cancel.

After months of meetings and negotiations with the woman who manages the facility, I was shocked to receive a text from my last ex-boyfriend informing me that he is the new general manager of the venue, and will be my point person of contact from now on. Things did not end well in our relationship, and he still owes me money from a loan I gave him right before the breakup.

This is extremely upsetting for me. I can't imagine having to plan my wedding with someone who mistreated me and took advantage, nor do I want to see him on my wedding day. How do I express this to the staff I worked with until this point so that I won't sound bitter or petty?

I know people can't steal our happiness unless we let them, but he was not part of the equation when we chose this location, and we can't move our nuptials to avoid him. Please help me see a way out of this because I feel trapped. -- BLUSHING BRIDE

DEAR B.B.: If you have been working with a wedding planner, that person could be the point of contact with this man rather than you. If you don't have one, you and your fiance -- or your maid of honor -- should contact your ex and inform him that you both prefer he have no part in planning the wedding and you would prefer he remain out of sight when it occurs.

If he gives you any trouble, contact the owner of the facility, explain your predicament and ask that person to intervene. If that's problematic, then you may have to involve an attorney to see what your options are.

DEAR ABBY: Why do women spend half their lives in search of the perfect man? And then when they find him, spend the other half trying to change him? -- INQUIRING MIND, CORPUS CHRISTI, TEXAS

DEAR INQUIRING MIND: I suspect it's for the same reason a man will buy a beautiful, expensive new car and then customize it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 57-year-old woman who has been diagnosed with cancer. I am currently receiving good treatment.

My problem is, I can't swallow pills. I have never been able to swallow pills and -- trust me -- I have tried everything. Is there anyone out there who can help me? I need to be able to resolve this issue. -- MARY ELLEN IN MISSOURI

DEAR MARY ELLEN: Because of the seriousness of your illness, your doctor/oncologist should be told about this right away. It's possible that your medication may be able to be prescribed in liquid, powder or another form, rather than in pills.

DEAR ABBY: My beautiful 6-year-old granddaughter has clubfeet. Although she had several surgeries, her ongoing treatment requires her to wear her shoes on the opposite feet.

Every time we go out somewhere, well-intentioned people seem compelled to let us know she has her shoes on wrong. My granddaughter told me it bothers her and she gets embarrassed when we must explain the reason, and truthfully, I don't blame her. I worry about her self-esteem.

Have you any suggestions as to what we could say to these people without giving out personal information? -- NANNY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR NANNY: If it were me, I would also assume that the person meant well and reply, "We're already aware of that, thank you." Period.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in fifth grade and I'm wondering: Which do you prefer -- dogs or cats?

My friends and I often debate about this topic. -- ANIMAL LOVER IN OAKLAND, CALIF.

DEAR ANIMAL LOVER: I'm an animal lover, too, and I have met both dogs and cats that had wonderful personalities. However, when it comes to choosing between cats and dogs, I'm more of a dog person. My favorite breed is the German shepherd.

DEAR ABBY: My sister moved in with me after my husband died. I thought it would be good for both of us, and we could go places together and share household chores. At the time, we were both working.

When I discovered she would sleep all day on our days off and didn't help with the housework at all, I was very disappointed. She would clean her room only when I got upset with her.

Now she does almost nothing. She won't clean her room and she sleeps for months without changing her sheets. I am sickened by the smell of her and her room. She hasn't showered or brushed her teeth in almost two weeks, and it doesn't look like she's in any hurry to do so.

We are both retired now and could enjoy going places together, but she would rather stay up all night and sleep all day. I am at my wits' end. I have begged, threatened and shamed, but nothing works. I am a very clean person and like to have a clean house. Help! -- WANTS MY CLEAN HOUSE BACK

DEAR WANTS: Changes in behavior like those you describe should not be ignored. Was your sister always like this? If not, she needs to be examined by a doctor to determine if she's depressed or having some other kind of mental problem. She should also be seen by a dentist if her oral hygiene is as poor as you say it is, while she still has teeth.

The living arrangement the two of you have doesn't appear to be healthy for either of you. Before this goes any further, consult an attorney for guidance. You may need help in getting her out after all this time -- or help finding other safe living arrangements for your sister if she's unable or unwilling to do it for herself.