DEAR ABBY: Eleven years ago my husband had a prostatectomy, which left him impotent. His sex drive dropped from 100 to zero. I have told him many times I don't care what he can or can't do. I have also told him I married him in sickness and health, and if this is the worst thing to happen, we are pretty lucky.
This is the man I couldn't walk by for many years without him all over me. We made love two or three times a day. I miss the man I married desperately. He is the one who had surgery, but I didn't.
I would never cheat on him, but I don't know what to do. Anytime we are intimate, it is always my idea, never his. I feel lost and hope you can help. -- LOST IN MICHIGAN
DEAR LOST: In one paragraph you tell me that you don't care what your husband can or can't do. In the next you tell me you miss the man he was and need more than you're getting. Here's what I advise: Have a talk with your husband, and suggest that he have a talk with his urologist. There are medical interventions that could improve the state of your union, but only if he is aware of them and is willing to avail himself.