DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, I met a gentleman, and he eventually decided we were "soul mates." I agreed. Over time, we shared our life stories, good and bad. I confided that I'd had an abortion at the age of 18, which has haunted me all my adult life.

Recently he was reciting a chronology of my life. When he got to the abortion, he said, "... and then you became a child murderer." His comment stunned me. He finds nothing wrong with it. Was this total disrespect, or am I overreacting? -- STUNNED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR STUNNED: That "gentleman's" remark was not only disrespectful, but also incredibly insensitive and wrong. It is not against the law to terminate a pregnancy in this country. It is a right that many women -- and men -- fought hard to achieve.

Because each woman's circumstances are unique, this deeply personal decision is made for a variety of reasons. Like yourself, women experience a range of emotions afterward -- including feelings of sadness and anger, but also relief. For this person to have made such an insensitive comment should be a clue that he may not be your soul mate after all.

Because of stigma that, not surprisingly, can cause feelings of shame, many women choose to remain silent about their decision to have an abortion. A resource that could be helpful to them -- and to you -- is Exhale (exhaleprovoice.org), a nonpolitical, nonjudgmental support organization for women who have had an abortion. Please check it out.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 33-year-old man in academia, and it has been two years since my last relationship ended. (Her name was "Erica.") I have always been with older women, the most significant ones being 10 and eight years older. One ended because, in a night of depressed, alcohol-fueled self-loathing, I cheated on her. I don't make those choices anymore.

I have had chances to date, but none has drawn my interest the way Erica did -- until recently. "Angie" is a sweetheart with a good sense of humor. When I'm around her, I start feeling twinges of how Erica made me feel.

I'm surprised by my attraction to Angie because she is only 19. Previous older mates were in education as I am, and Angie is, well, 19. I can't figure out if this is a genuine attraction, or if I'm trying to prove to myself that I can be involved with someone younger. I admit I'm intrigued by the idea of assuming the role of teacher instead of student.

I don't want to see Angie hurt by a mistake in judgment on my part. Is it healthy for a 19-year-old to be interested in significantly older men? Should I stop overanalyzing this and give it a try? -- MR. X IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MR. X: I think it depends upon what you mean by "it." Young women can be attracted to older men for a variety of reasons. If Angie is one of your students, I'd advise against a romantic involvement until after she has left your class to avoid any possible accusations of favoritism or even sexual harassment.

DEAR ABBY: I met an amazing man and have been dating him for about three months. It was almost love at first sight. I say "almost" because I was hesitant to get involved since I am his boss.

My problem is, for six years I was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship. My ex threw me through a wall, leaving me with broken ribs and lacerations on my face. I was constantly called "fat" -- especially when I was pregnant.

Now that I'm with this new guy, I feel awkward. He tells me how pretty I am, and I don't know how to respond. It makes me uncomfortable when he says it, and I have no idea why. I have fallen so hard for him, but feel like I hurt his feelings when I don't respond. It's not that I think I'm ugly or anything; I just feel like I am not as pretty as he constantly says I am.

How can I overcome this so it doesn't become a problem in the future? I'm scared to death that one day he will wake up and realize that I'm not as perfect as he thinks I am. -- NOT PERFECT IN ALABAMA

DEAR NOT PERFECT: I don't know whether your self-esteem problem is long-standing and deep-seated, or if it stems from the abusive relationship you had with your ex. But a way to conquer it would be to discuss your feelings with a licensed mental health professional.

On a related subject, it is common knowledge that workplace romances -- while not uncommon -- can turn into disasters if they don't work out. They sometimes fail because of the imbalance of power in the relationship if one person has economic control of the other. While you're talking to your therapist, this is something that should also be discussed.

DEAR ABBY: Social media -- specifically Facebook -- has had an impact on families, their values and relationships. It is important to understand that, contrary to popular belief, parents and grandparents DO NOT LIVE FOREVER. Being "too busy" for face-to-face visits, writing a postcard or a letter, or even a simple telephone call, is not how we were brought up.

To my children and grandchildren, whom I dearly love: I'm sure you'll take the time to order flowers for my funeral. You may even take the day off to attend, and when you do, you will most likely shed some tears. So why can't you find the time, while I'm still here, to visit or call? I'd love to see you, and I'm never too busy to make the time. -- HURT IN PELLA, IOWA

DEAR HURT: I'm printing your letter because I'm sure this is a problem shared by many aging parents and grandparents. However, this is a question you should direct to your children and grandchildren, not me. If you do, you may learn there may be multiple reasons why they don't pay more attention to you -- among them, the pressures of work, school, child care, or the fact that they are disorganized and don't budget their time well.

There is also the question of whether you are an enjoyable person to be around. Do you show an interest in what they are doing, or make them feel guilty for not doing more to entertain you? That's a surefire way to keep them away.

DEAR ABBY: I'm retiring at the end of this year after 50 years of full-time employment and I'm very excited about it. Looking back over my life, I see there have been several life-changing events ... marriage, the births of our children, buying a home and, now, retirement.

My wife gets irritated every time I say (about twice a week), "When I retire." I'm looking forward to all sorts of activities that I'll have time for. Why can't she be excited too? She makes snide remarks like, "Well, when you retire, you won't have anything to say." The implication is that all I talk about is my retirement, which isn't true. And if it were true, it's a big deal to me. What should I say to my wife? -- EXCITED IN MARYLAND

DEAR EXCITED: You might start by asking why her reaction is to rain on your parade about something you're clearly looking forward to. She may be worried about how her life will change once you retire, or she may be a tad jealous. But you won't know until you have a frank conversation with her that isn't passive aggressive or tinged with sarcasm.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with a woman, "Wendy," for more than a year. She has one child, whose father isn't in the boy's life, so I fill the role of his daddy. We are now expecting a child together.

Wendy had a bad experience with her ex not wanting anything to do with his child. She also has a friend who has had kids with different men who ended up not treating them the same. Lately, Wendy has been pushing me away and trying to get me to leave. I have no plans to leave and I don't want to.

My question is, how do I make her understand that I'm not the same as the other men, and I want to be there for both children? -- MAN IN A TOUGH SPOT

DEAR MAN: A marriage proposal and joint premarital counseling might go a long way in helping your girlfriend understand that you aren't planning to disappear in a puff of smoke. It might also give you more insight into why she wants to push you away, just in case it's because she isn't as serious about you as you are about her.

DEAR ABBY: After the long winters in Minnesota, we look forward to summer to open our windows and enjoy the fresh air. However, we are unable to do that because of wind chimes. Apparently, wind chime owners don't understand (or care) that the noise carries throughout the whole block, especially on windy nights. PLEASE, folks! Take down your chimes and hang up something quiet instead. -- MIFFED IN MINNESOTA

DEAR MIFFED: If your solution to this problem is writing to me hoping your neighbors see your letter, please allow me to offer a better one. Bake a batch of cookies (or another confection), and take it to these neighbors. When you hand your gift to them, explain that their wind chimes are driving you and some of the other neighbors to distraction. Then ask if they would please be kind enough to take them down and suggest that perhaps they hang a basket of flowers in their place.